Dealing with Debt and Depression.

judderman62

hope you have/had a good night out JJ :grouphug:

Judders

bathgatebuyer

jammiejen wrote: »

Thank you both for your kind comments, it took a lot last time for me to go in and see the doc in the first place and I'm scared to go again, which makes me feel even more stupid, how can I be scared to go to the doctors for Gods sake!

Please go and see the second doc - it sounds as if you got the GP in the practice who's in a permanent bad mood and wants everyone else to suffer! I had a similar thing about 7 or 8 years ago when I went to see my GP over depression. A friend is a Doc and said to me, "Just go and see your GP - he'll be fine". He wasn't. He was awful. It took about a year of me feeling horrid to pluck up the courage to go and see him and he sat me dow and said, "What's the problem................why are you depressed.................let's sort it" and thought a quick 2 minute peptalk would solve everything! I ended up walking out, going home and crying my eyes out for the rest of the day.

Two days later, I plucked up the courage to see a GP in a different practice ( I changes practice) and the new doctor could not have been more different. She was in her mid 20s, keen to listen and was absolutely superb in the way she dealt with me. She gave me the option of going to visit their practice counsellor once a week for 10 weeks and also the option of taking some tablets. The tablets never agreed with me (they gave me a sort throat for some reason - which meant I couldn't eat which certainly didn't help my depression!) so I stuck with the counselling. It managed to drag me through whatever was making me feel so low at the time that I never needed sleeping tablets or anti-depressants.

Like any other profession, there are good and bad GPs - don't think that they'll all treat you the same as this first GP you saw. Make an appointment with another GP, and tell them you were unhappy with the first visit. Tell them it took a lot for you to admit to your depression and you're looking for help. A good GP will know what questions to ask thereafter and what treatment options are available.

jammiejen

judderman62 wrote: »

hope you have/had a good night out JJ :grouphug:

Judders

Thanks Judders, Thats my first dodgy hug! I had a good night, ended up meeting up with some friends as well so didn't get to bed until 1am:eek:

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

Please go and see the second doc - it sounds as if you got the GP in the practice who's in a permanent bad mood and wants everyone else to suffer! I had a similar thing about 7 or 8 years ago when I went to see my GP over depression. A friend is a Doc and said to me, "Just go and see your GP - he'll be fine". He wasn't. He was awful. It took about a year of me feeling horrid to pluck up the courage to go and see him and he sat me dow and said, "What's the problem................why are you depressed.................let's sort it" and thought a quick 2 minute peptalk would solve everything! I ended up walking out, going home and crying my eyes out for the rest of the day.

Two days later, I plucked up the courage to see a GP in a different practice ( I changes practice) and the new doctor could not have been more different. She was in her mid 20s, keen to listen and was absolutely superb in the way she dealt with me. She gave me the option of going to visit their practice counsellor once a week for 10 weeks and also the option of taking some tablets. The tablets never agreed with me (they gave me a sort throat for some reason - which meant I couldn't eat which certainly didn't help my depression!) so I stuck with the counselling. It managed to drag me through whatever was making me feel so low at the time that I never needed sleeping tablets or anti-depressants.

Like any other profession, there are good and bad GPs - don't think that they'll all treat you the same as this first GP you saw. Make an appointment with another GP, and tell them you were unhappy with the first visit. Tell them it took a lot for you to admit to your depression and you're looking for help. A good GP will know what questions to ask thereafter and what treatment options are available.

That's exactly how the doctor treated me, like he was on a time limit and I don't think I could of been in there anymore than 2 minutes!! I'm going to ring on Monday, I'm not back at work until Wednesday so I have no excuses not to ring them.

Tonight we are going for a family meal at my Grans, which is always hard work but it will be even more so tonight. OH is going so I will just hide behind him all night!

Hope everyone is feeling better today than a few days ago.
Jen
x

Keeping_Positive

Excellent, please let us know how it goes with the Doctor.

Lucy1982_2

Hi

I know some of you will know I have been having trouble with OH, well I ended it tonight. I know it's the right thing for me, I know and feel this deep down. But I feel terrible because I have hurt him.

He has no idea what he has done wrong even though I have explained how I am feeling endless times.

Why is it you can feel so bad for doing the right thing for you???

twinklie

Awwww.....Lucy. My heart goes out to you honey. Your bound to feel bad right now if he's upset, but just look at it this way. It's better now then further on down the line when you have things that are shared eg a house or a mortgage.

This way you have time to work on you and focus all your attentions on YOU! That might sound selfish but things will never work with others until you find how to make yourself happy.

Your very brave to have ended things....many people know it's not right but stay with someone because they don't want to hurt them.

Try not to feel too bad honey. You will know if you have done the right thing deep down.
xx

Lucy1982_2

I think I have got so accustomed to thinking of others I shock myself when I do something for me.

The worst bit is he just doesn't understand and nothing I do will make him understand!! There in lies the problem.

I have some very good friends that will make sure I am ok, I just didn't have the feeling.

twinklie

Unfortunately as long as you have tried your best to be honest with him, there is nothing more you can do.

You need to focus on you and give him some time to come to terms with things. Most probably he'll be in shock. It doesn't matter how bad things get in a relationship when it comes to an end it always leaves people in a state of shock. I'd imagine you are too!

My ex had an affair (again) but I left him....think I spent a good month trying to get over the numbness. I felt guilty too and I'd not done anything wrong.

But just remember, you have only been honest and no one can blame you for that.

Lucy1982_2

I know and there was no point staying as both of us could have missed out on the right person.

I just need to get back to me again. First day is having some fun with Mum tomorrow, shopping and lunch out. The I will be having lunch with best friend on Monday with my interview in the afternoon and back to work on Tuesday. Then I AM going to go to my dance class on Wedns and have a good time!

That's the plan so far and if in doubt ring friends and cry at them!!

ms_london

Hi Lucy

I have only just spotted your post - havent read the whole thing, so sorry if I am missing things.

I suffered from depression, still have my bad days, but it was awful when I had the debt hanging over me too! I was depressed when I was running up the debt in the first place (burying my head in the sand) and long before that, but it was bloody awful during the time I was repaying my debt I have to say!

The doctors at home were equally as useless for me too, I was on anti depressants a few times over a few years, went to seek counselling but the NHS deemed I wasnt messed up enough for free counselling and that I should go private if I felt I needed it. Naturally, I couldnt afford counselling, so it was a catch 22 situation - didnt end up having it in the end.

I should probably read your whole thread really, but just wanted to say hi! Looks like you have a lot of support on here too, so keep posting.xx