Dealing with Debt and Depression.

Keeping_Positive

Thanks again

Keeping_Positive

Bullying does have lasting effects dented my confidence for years. Im glad to hear you have managed to deal with it and are now on the road to recovery.

gilligansyle

Sorry if this post ends up here twice, but typed it up and it seems to have disappeared.

I have lurked over here, but have never posted. I wandered over to the Moneysavers Arms and was distressed by the diatribe that went on in a discussion about the situation with MOT. Not going into that one here, but there were people on the thread challenging each other to be signed off with depression. They obviously have no understanding of how debilitating true stress and depression are. I can truly understand how hard it is to motivate yourself sometimes.

I am not as much in debt as many people, but I still cannot pay my bills and at the end of the day thats what matters. There are times when I feel such a failure, and just cry. The last few weeks have been really hard and my self esteem has really taken a battering.

I would like to share this with you.

Many years ago, my poor father, having retired on a good pension, got into a state about his finances. He had no mortgage, no debts, but managed to convince himself that he didn't have enough to live on. He did, and he had savings, but nothing could convince him. He eventually had a complete breakdown and spent months in a psychiatric unit before being discharged. Then the system failed him as there was no support, he was told, best thing to do is keep busy, but he didn't know how. Eventually he seemed to get better but then took his own life.

I tell you this, purely so you can see that I think that it affected my outlook on life. Up until that point, I only had a mortgage and a small credit card debt. Once he died, I put my blinkers on about money and stopped thinking about it. I just spent it and if I didn't have it I borrowed it. Now I sit here, having just been paid, juggling my money envelopes, knowing that no matter what I do, it won't work.

Next week, I have my annual appraisal, I have always loved my job, but find my new boss has an attitude which borders on bullying. I know that I should confront him about this, but haven't got the guts. I have just read last years appraisal, and am angry with the comments he made, but didn't challenge them at the time so can't challenge them now. Common sense says I should raise it this time, cowardice says, ignore it.

So, I am going to motivate myself by ignoring it all for a while and coming on here to read some nice stories about people helping each other. Then I'm going to go for a long walk, and I might treat myself to some chocolate. After that I may be able to face the world, or may be even the ironing pile.

Sea78

Hi gilligansyle - I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Remember YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. I have been exactly where you are, unable to meet payments, feeling like a failure, unable to cope etc.

Coming on here everyday helps - I know I'm not alone and that we can't all be failures, so we will be successes, in each little step that we take in improving our debt situation.

Would it help for you to do a Statement of Affairs? It might do - we could suggest some ways you might be able to cut back on (forgive me if you'e already done one!).

I'm really looking forward to hearing more from you - hope you have a good saturday. If you like heart warming stories btw, I always find reading chicken soup for the soul books (from the library of course!) to be soothing and helpful.

Sea xxxxxx

Keeping_Positive

Your right its not the amount of debt its how each individual person feels and can or cannot handle their situation. Youve got the right idea to try and motivate yourself with whatever helps you. What happens to your father would have had lasting effect on anyone it had happened to.

My statergy is not to push myself too far it always backfired and nearly did again this week when I overreacted at the nasty client situation. Id done too much work in the last two weeks and hasnt realised the toll it had taken.

Enjoy your walk and spare some chocolate for me!

MUSTBEFUNNY_2

Gilli,

I don't believe you can tackle a bully head on...is there any way you can get away from your boss?

gilligansyle

Hi, unfortunately can't get away without leaving company. Work in very small team, so unless he leaves.....
...or I win the lottery tonight!

judderman62

:grouphug: Gilligansyle

Hope a solution comes along soon for you :grouphug:

gilligansyle

Was a lovely morning so been for a walk, am now sat with coffee and chocolate.
Might do some ironing or prepare for appraisal.

Cadbury's Dairy Milk anyone??

Keeping_Positive

Me Please! I love Dairy Milk