Dealing with Debt and Depression.

Lucy1982_2

I need a challenge to which is why I am hoping that work will put me on a course to further my career. We are so busy it could do with 2 of us being fulling qualified!

4 degrees that really impressive!

Keeping_Positive

Want to chat but baby sitting little ones so will be back later

Lucy1982_2

Have fun baby sitting. How old are they?

I will try and log in this evening, but I can't promise anything, I should so I can list some stuff, but we will see!

x

Keeping_Positive

just got mine from school 10 7 & 5 and looking after nephews 11 months & 2.
Was going to say 5 easier than 2 but now typing one handed with baby on my knee!

Lucy1982_2

Babies still scare me, I think they can smell it to as they always cry when I go near them.

I like them once they get to about 18 months/2. They are like little people then.

ZTD

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

So, when it comes to work, I'm a bit of a nervous wreck. Anything relating to me, my abilities, performance or anything like that and I'm just a wreck.

:grouphug:

You should consider the lack of feedback as a fault of the company, not of yourself.

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

I shouldn't be as I'm 31 with 4 degrees (I know, daft eh?!)

Very well educated - not daft. Though bear in mind there's a load of people who'd feel threatened by that.

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

and more than capable, but my biggest problem is boredom. I guess that's part of the reason I always went on to further study as I never got enough stimulation / challenge / intereting work / whatever you call it from my day job. As much as I would love to be passionate about my job, I'm not really but it does pay the bills.

Everybody I work with is like that.

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

If I have to continue studying (ha ha which i am in the middle of doing again!!!) to get whatever it is of a challenge I need to keep my interest levels and focus up, then I do.

Not thought of getting into education yourself? In a university you'd get paid to learn things. And of course teach students, but that's not important...

spud30

bathgatebuyer wrote: »

So, when it comes to work, I'm a bit of a nervous wreck. Anything relating to me, my abilities, performance or anything like that and I'm just a wreck.

That sounds just like me Bathgate, except I dont have 1 degree, never mind 4

bathgatebuyer

ZTD wrote: »

Not thought of getting into education yourself? In a university you'd get paid to learn things. And of course teach students, but that's not important...

Been there, worn the t-shirt, but the ultra short contracts was so stressful, I didn't know from month to month whether I would have a job, so it was not worth the stress unfortunately as I absolutely loved teaching. The uncertainty really affected my health and marked the start of my insomnia and panic attack filled world!

You're right about people being threatened though. The job I was in for 3 months was a classic case. I was pinned against a wall by someone telling me, "I'm the next damn Partner in here, not you" when he found out the company had taken on someone who'd been qualified longer than he had (it's a stupid professional hierachy thing!) and threw his toys out the pram enough that I lost out and ended up on the dole. Annoyingly, he left that company under a cloud about 6 weeks later while I lived off the £10 a week subs I got from friends to buy food with :mad: as the dole money only covered some od my debts.

Amazing how somethings can completely rob you of your confidence and comfort in yourself. It's even difficult for me to enjoy the job I'm in now, as I'm waiting for it to go wrong because I keep reflecting on what if it's me and what if I'm not good enough. In a lot of other respects in life I'm really content with what I have, but when it comes to work, I can't seem to enjoy it.

We all have out hangups, and employment is mine.

Lucy1982_2

Hi Bathgate

Sounds like you have had a tough time of it. I don't really know what to say other than big hugs and you will find a job you feel comfortable in. How long have you been in your current job? I think (hope) that confidence will come back with time.

I have done something similar although mine was in relationships. I got engaged when I was 19. 3 months before my wedding in 2004 my ex called me on my mobile and told me he had been having and affair for 10 months and it was up to me if I married him or not :eek: (I had also just resigned as I would have been moving away with him, he was in the Army) Needless to say I didn't marry him although I still lost my job. I had another failed relationship (although still friends) between him and current OH. When I met OH I was literally waiting for things to go wrong as they always had in the past. Which I think is what led to this round of depression. I convinced myself that OH would leave and I would somehow lose my job on the back of it.

It all sounds so stupid now, but my brain does terrible things to me sometimes. I stole my confidence from myself and I am very slowly starting to trust myself again, which also means that I am slowly starting to have confidence in myself, but I am not sure if it will ever come back completely. I will never forgive my ex for putting me into the situation where I became able to destroy my personality and confidence. The very worst bit is that fact he then married 18 months later. 18 months later I was still struggling to let anyone close enough to me to start a relationship.... It just doesn't seem fair.

Toto

Ooh guys I've got that black cloud again. I think it's just jet lag but I just want to bury myself as far from the human race as possible. I'm going to spend the day playing kit I think, that usually sends me off into a meditational type thing and the exercise won't hurt either.

How are you all doing?