Dealing with Debt and Depression.

Lucy1982_2

Hi!

It is hard when you feel alone, but slowly that feeling is passing. Well Done of quitting smoking that is a really big step as is joining WW. I hope your first week goes well.

I sometime think the problem with depression is some many people suffer but aren't willing to talk about it. But of course talking and finding out you are not alone really helps you start to get better.

xx

Lucy1982_2

Afternoon Guy's

I hope that everyone is doing ok. I have been really busy today, I had a bit more of an early night last night, but over slept this morning and I'm still tired. :rolleyes:

Work has been manic today, but I am getting through things slowly, which is good, because I am at least getting through them.

Big Hugs to everyone and I only put a pound on over Christmas and New Year which I am really pleased about, so feeling a bit more positive about that to.

xx

Keeping_Positive

Hi

No regulars about but I need to vent a bit. I couldnt sleep last night for worrying about work, debt, OH etc.

WORK: Great job, pays well but is challeging and you need confidence which as its still fairly new to me is just an act at the moment. I dread going out to work sometimes and dont feel up to it but with all my debt I cant afford to quit and my family are proud that I got the job I dont want to let them down.

DEBT: Terrified I havent truly had the lightbulb momemt. Mine seems to flicker on and off so often. I have screwed up for so long adding to the debt I dont trust myslf to keep it up. Their isnt much excessive expenditure to play with and I need some luxuries to keep me looking forward to things like a holiday.

OH: I have had depression on/off for half my life now and my OH was not very supportive and previously has claimed I was an unfit mother and should just leave if Im not happy. He doesnt believe in anti depressants and mocked me when I took them. He has changed alot and I am stronger now and argue back now.

Now he is depressed but wont do anything about it. I had to pull myself out of it before. I want and try to help but what can I do? Im still on the brink myself. He is stuck at home bored and I need to work. I help myself through work friends and this site. He has neither but wont go and find a hobby or anything. I know its hard but like I said I can only do so much. Am I being selfish?

Thanks for listening if you got this far.

Lucy1982_2

wendy24g wrote: »

Hi

No regulars about but I need to vent a bit. I couldnt sleep last night for worrying about work, debt, OH etc.

WORK: Great job, pays well but is challeging and you need confidence which as its still fairly new to me is just an act at the moment. I dread going out to work sometimes and dont feel up to it but with all my debt I cant afford to quit and my family are proud that I got the job I dont want to let them down.

DEBT: Terrified I havent truly had the lightbulb momemt. Mine seems to flicker on and off so often. I have screwed up for so long adding to the debt I dont trust myslf to keep it up. Their isnt much excessive expenditure to play with and I need some luxuries to keep me looking forward to things like a holiday.

OH: I have had depression on/off for half my life now and my OH was not very supportive and previously has claimed I was an unfit mother and should just leave if Im not happy. He doesnt believe in anti depressants and mocked me when I took them. He has changed alot and I am stronger now and argue back now.

Now he is depressed but wont do anything about it. I had to pull myself out of it before. I want and try to help but what can I do? Im still on the brink myself. He is stuck at home bored and I need to work. I help myself through work friends and this site. He has neither but wont go and find a hobby or anything. I know its hard but like I said I can only do so much. Am I being selfish?

Thanks for listening if you got this far.

Sweetheart!

It sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment. I am glad that you are standing up to OH, and I don't know about you, but it took me ages to admit that I needed help. Hopefully he will realise this soon. Maybe he is also reacting badly as he has treated you terribly over your depression.

Work - I completely understand this and it will get better with time. My Boss is always amazed at the fact I don't feel I have the confidence, as I come across so well. I guess that is the point isn't it. How long have you been doing the job? Hopefully things will get better, is there anything work can do to help? Any course they could send you on to make you feel more comfortable doing your job?

Debt - I think that we all do this sometimes. I don't have a massive amount left over to play with and that has to pay off my OD and Laptop. Do you set yourself a weekly 'spends' budget? I have about £30 and anything that is left goes towards a treat at the end of the month, or you could put it into a holiday saving fund.

You can do this, you wouldn't be here if you couldn't. You are not selfish, it sounds like you had to sort your problems out by yourself and while you are willing to help your OH he needs to start the ball rolling.

Take care, I'm about all day if you need me

x

Keeping_Positive

Duplicate post sorry

Keeping_Positive

Thanks

I am feeling a bit better today but havent much work at the mo so taken a days holiday. Im having my first annual review next monday so hoping to get good feedback and a pay rise. I havent had any bad feedback so far but I want to hear everythings ok. I will mention that I am struggling and see if I can do some more joint visits to help.

Spent £20 yesterday on the kids. They have been in the house most of christmas so took them to an indoor play area to burn off some energy. Got £15 back from my Mum which will go to petrol in the car.

OH is ok at the minute. I am blocking it out really and trying to help and suggest as much as possible. Kids are back at school and al full time so he will have more time to study and for himself.

Lucy1982_2

I would take it one day at a time and see how things go. Did you enjoy time with the kids yesterday?

Hopefully work will be able to do something positive. When I explained how I was feeling to my Boss, he has stuck me on a course which should explain the basic's of the property industry. It's not going to solve everything, but we are using it as a starting point.

Keeping_Positive

Yes they had a great time, a struggle to get them to leave but 3 hours is enough! OH made an effort and came which was nice.

One day at a time is good. I get impatient and frustrated sometimes when its always a battle. Why cant I be one that sees things half full and not half empty?

Thanks for your support, together we can help each other through our bad times :grouphug:.

Lucy1982_2

I feel like that sometimes. Now I've faced the problem i want to wake up with it solved and everything ok. But slowly I realised that I have to work it out myself. Tough but ok.

I'm pleased the OH went to. Looks like he is making a bit of an effort.

bathgatebuyer

wendy24g wrote: »

Im having my first annual review next monday so hoping to get good feedback and a pay rise. I havent had any bad feedback so far but I want to hear everythings ok. I will mention that I am struggling and see if I can do some more joint visits to help.

I hate work when it's like that!!! I started a new job in September and no one's given me any feedback at all. I once didn't make it through a probationary period in another job where one of my colleagues (who was a complete t**t) who did a 'she goes or I go' to the boss when I was coming up to the end of my 3 months review. So, I wasn't kept on because of that git. (I got my own back though in ways I won't mention here). That effectively kick started my 6 months out of work and being chased by debt collectors, and on a personal level wondering whether I was good enough to do my job.

So, when it comes to work, I'm a bit of a nervous wreck. Anything relating to me, my abilities, performance or anything like that and I'm just a wreck. I shouldn't be as I'm 31 with 4 degrees (I know, daft eh?!) and more than capable, but my biggest problem is boredom. I guess that's part of the reason I always went on to further study as I never got enough stimulation / challenge / intereting work / whatever you call it from my day job. As much as I would love to be passionate about my job, I'm not really but it does pay the bills. If I have to continue studying (ha ha which i am in the middle of doing again!!!) to get whatever it is of a challenge I need to keep my interest levels and focus up, then I do.