Countdown from £28k...

warby68

Ordering expensive options because someone else is paying is rude - you are right to wince. You know they're doing it because the same people usually go cheap when they're paying.
The rellys do seem a bit shameless
Spending your own money is much harder than spending credit for most people. Its actually a positive for the time being, weighing up each spend. It doesn't make you a penny pincher, it just means you are aware. A penny pincher wouldn't take 2 other adults for lunch just because.

ryanm8655

warby68 said:

Ordering expensive options because someone else is paying is rude - you are right to wince. You know they're doing it because the same people usually go cheap when they're paying.
The rellys do seem a bit shameless
Spending your own money is much harder than spending credit for most people. Its actually a positive for the time being, weighing up each spend. It doesn't make you a penny pincher, it just means you are aware. A penny pincher wouldn't take 2 other adults for lunch just because.

Haha, not just me then. Cousin actually wanted McDonald’s but the adult directed them to Nando’s ha. I guess I feel tight as Nando’s isn’t exactly pricey (though actually it is for what it is). Plus when you’re thinking you’ll be spending about £20 on lunch and it comes out double ha...

It was one adult and one teen, who eats a lot despite being a rake! Though even as a teen that ate loads I’d tend to go for stuff at the lower end ha. But a fair point on the penny pincher front. Maybe I’m ok for now

Great point re: spending on credit vs spending own money. That makes me feel a lot better and see this in a more positive light. Actually gave me a little buzz of endorphins.

Looking forward to the next phase and being independent again. Birthday and Christmas spends will be far more modest in future  

I suppose £80 is a lot to spend on a birthday (I’d usually spend £25/£30 if I wasn’t living here), so reasonable to feel anxious about it.

gymgirl11

Your post about penny pinching made me laugh.. Nothing wrong with thinking that £40 on lunch is expensive! I think as you spent across the day that once it all accumulates then it looks a lot when it written down but at least Christmas will be out the way soon and it usually slows down after that.

In terms of your flat and buying stuff - if you need kitchen bits and utensils I found that Wilko do cheap and cheerful options. You can buy single glasses for 50p and wine glasses, champagne flutes for £1. I think my wooden spoon cost 50p.  I’ve never had anyone ask where they are from and they do the job but a vacuum can be pricey, I have a cordless Dyson and it was £200+ but I love it and I clean a lot so it’s value for money in my eyes! 

alt80

@ryanm8655 mate you’re basically a changed man will be on the tap water in the pub next FML. I think I’m doing what you were when in debt lol thought of you earlier when I was looking at day dates thinking could get one when debt free. What for idk probably as much dreaming about having somewhere to go to wear it. Don’t tell me the debt free life is agonising over £6 and ordering tap water, I think I’d rather stay financially !!!!!! lol. Tbf I think you’re watching the money because you’ve got the move coming up and don’t want to be back to the debt life rather than actually become a penny pincher.

Not surprised re fragrances not selling - we’ve got stuff up for sale that’s not moving. Hopefully people’s grandmas or whatever will be handing out the cash for Christmas as they can’t go anywhere and people will start buying January. That’s my hope anyway. 

My BIL (sister’s husband, not wife’s siblings) 100 will always order most !!!!!! expensive thing on the menu think I’ve mentioned it on here before haha. I always end up with the bill too so know what it’s like. Had to laugh re same people always buying cheap when they’re paying @warby68 100 true in my experience - can think once BIL paid and he literally ordered a salad and tap water not even joking lol. I always feel massively awkward when someone else paying probably because it doesn’t happen very often but trawl through menu making sure I don’t order most expensive thing even if I want to. FIL actually noticed it once - wife’s birthday few years back went to a restaurant I’ve took them all to before on a few occasions and knew FIL was paying so purposely ordered something cheaper; FIL actually joked I can have what I want, he can afford it etc. Felt so awkward I just told him I wasn’t feeling like a big meal lied about having a big lunch just to avoid the awkwardness haha. Probably fall into one camp or the other.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

@ryanm8655 mate you’re basically a changed man will be on the tap water in the pub next FML. I think I’m doing what you were when in debt lol thought of you earlier when I was looking at day dates thinking could get one when debt free. What for idk probably as much dreaming about having somewhere to go to wear it. Don’t tell me the debt free life is agonising over £6 and ordering tap water, I think I’d rather stay financially !!!!!! lol. Tbf I think you’re watching the money because you’ve got the move coming up and don’t want to be back to the debt life rather than actually become a penny pincher.

Not surprised re fragrances not selling - we’ve got stuff up for sale that’s not moving. Hopefully people’s grandmas or whatever will be handing out the cash for Christmas as they can’t go anywhere and people will start buying January. That’s my hope anyway. 

My BIL (sister’s husband, not wife’s siblings) 100 will always order most !!!!!! expensive thing on the menu think I’ve mentioned it on here before haha. I always end up with the bill too so know what it’s like. Had to laugh re same people always buying cheap when they’re paying @warby68 100 true in my experience - can think once BIL paid and he literally ordered a salad and tap water not even joking lol. I always feel massively awkward when someone else paying probably because it doesn’t happen very often but trawl through menu making sure I don’t order most expensive thing even if I want to. FIL actually noticed it once - wife’s birthday few years back went to a restaurant I’ve took them all to before on a few occasions and knew FIL was paying so purposely ordered something cheaper; FIL actually joked I can have what I want, he can afford it etc. Felt so awkward I just told him I wasn’t feeling like a big meal lied about having a big lunch just to avoid the awkwardness haha. Probably fall into one camp or the other.

Lmfao, funny as my exact thought was this is going to put people off of going debt free. Did think of you too I’ll chill out once I’m more in control of the finances and got a bit of a buffer again.

Funny you say re: being one or the other in terms of ordering the most expensive thing or being polite. My sister is/was the complete opposite despite the same upbringing...though she has the same attitude to the benefits system ha.

I just can’t be like that. Even if my loaded mates buy me a drink I’ll always buy them
one back/insist on paying my way etc. Split the bill when out with uncle etc. I don’t understand how people take the pee, maybe they’re sociopaths...

gymgirl11 said:

Your post about penny pinching made me laugh.. Nothing wrong with thinking that £40 on lunch is expensive! I think as you spent across the day that once it all accumulates then it looks a lot when it written down but at least Christmas will be out the way soon and it usually slows down after that.

In terms of your flat and buying stuff - if you need kitchen bits and utensils I found that Wilko do cheap and cheerful options. You can buy single glasses for 50p and wine glasses, champagne flutes for £1. I think my wooden spoon cost 50p.  I’ve never had anyone ask where they are from and they do the job but a vacuum can be pricey, I have a cordless Dyson and it was £200+ but I love it and I clean a lot so it’s value for money in my eyes! 

Glad it made you chuckle ha! I got rinsed for another £12 today, taking the boy for a haircut today Didn’t make me wince quite so much, even though it was unexpected.

Good shout re: cheap utensils, I need to fish through the garage and see what I kept. May have all the utensils etc. Which Dyson do you have? Like the cordless ones but the ones in my sort of price range have quite a short battery life (V7) but probably enough to quickly nip around a 1 bed flat. Also saw John Lewis do their own version for pretty cheap (£130). Will have a look on gumtree.

Slightly annoying thing is family have a Miele in the garage that they replaced with a new version for about £500. Even though they’re not using it and the subject came up today courtesy of my uncle, no offer to take that one

alt80

Your whole family sounds like they take the pee tbh mate. Mind my sister no better she orders stupid stuff too lol but always paid her own way in life at least haha. Convinced with them it’s because they hardly ever go out and are in a ‘paupers’ mindset. 100 know despite them bringing less in they’ve got a much bigger disposable income but just see me as a cheque book ha. Probably doesn’t help I’m known as a big spender she was not even shocked I’m paying a load of debt. BIL disgusted all ‘how can you have more going out than coming in’. FML that man has never had a life would rather be in debt tbh. 

Sometimes I think it’s the habits you get into like dates when wife and I first met can never once remember her paying even on my birthday lol. Tbh I wouldn’t have accepted but did wonder if she’d ever offer. 😆

gymgirl11

I do have the Dyson Cordless V7 and I can confirm that it will definitely get you round a 1 bed flat as mine comfortably gets round my 3 bed house.  You’ll probably have enough to Hoover 3 times before needing to recharge. I just pop mine on charge for an hour at the weekend and it’s good to go. I like the fact it’s lightweight and I can easily carry it up the stairs without falling over wires! 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Your whole family sounds like they take the pee tbh mate. Mind my sister no better she orders stupid stuff too lol but always paid her own way in life at least haha. Convinced with them it’s because they hardly ever go out and are in a ‘paupers’ mindset. 100 know despite them bringing less in they’ve got a much bigger disposable income but just see me as a cheque book ha. Probably doesn’t help I’m known as a big spender she was not even shocked I’m paying a load of debt. BIL disgusted all ‘how can you have more going out than coming in’. FML that man has never had a life would rather be in debt tbh. 

Sometimes I think it’s the habits you get into like dates when wife and I first met can never once remember her paying even on my birthday lol. Tbh I wouldn’t have accepted but did wonder if she’d ever offer. 😆

Completely get you. Family gave my cousin £50 today to take her friends to costa (for her birthday - on top of all the gifts) and yet plead poverty to me It’s how my uncle is always viewed (chequebook) and they now seem to think I’m the same just because the fact I have no debt, house or kids means I’ve got a bit of short term disposable income. Uncle is loud about what he earns though, so sort of serves him right. I should never have told them I’m debt free!

Also get you on the never having a life, couldn’t live like that either but I guess he’s happy

No offer of cash or even a thanks for the haircut. I know it’s only a small thing but it’s just polite. Also bought a nice bottle of red for Christmas Day.

Absolutely re: dates. I often used to pay, though  a lot of girls would insist on splitting. If they didn’t at least offer it was a bit of a turn off for me. Not a financial thing just that I’d want someone with a bit of independence/wants to make their own way in life. I have a very modern view of relationships, so anyone with the old fashioned mindset of “man pays for everything and woman cooks and irons” isn’t for me. Plus you get a lot of people who go on dates to get a free dinner, the idea of wasting an evening with someone like that is horrifying Was dating a PA once, couldn’t have earned very much but had her shot together way more than me, had a flat etc. But she always insisted on paying her way, even though, if you judged a book by its cover, you’d have thought she wouldn’t have (attractive Essex type).

gymgirl11 said:

I do have the Dyson Cordless V7 and I can confirm that it will definitely get you round a 1 bed flat as mine comfortably gets round my 3 bed house.  You’ll probably have enough to Hoover 3 times before needing to recharge. I just pop mine on charge for an hour at the weekend and it’s good to go. I like the fact it’s lightweight and I can easily carry it up the stairs without falling over wires! 

That’s really handy to know. Family have the v7 in the kitchen and it does the job. I’ll have a shop around.

Edit:
Another unpredicted expense, Need new tyres. I say unpredicted, it was an advisory on the MOT but I was hoping they’d hold out until I sell the car in January. But suddenly with the wet roads you can really feel the lack of grip...

They’re legal and between now and the 2nd I only need to drive to London so tempting to just make do but then anyone that test drives it is going to feel the lack of grip and kick the tyres anyway ha. Looking at around £200 though. Lame. 

Typical me, suddenly selling after getting the car to a position where it’ll need nothing else spending on it for a while ha. Bought a mk1 TT in my early 20s (3.2 v6 as I loved the sound), ended up spending a fortune on it as it needed new discs all round, DSG service, Haldex service etc. New tyres, you name it. Spent about £3k (as it was so heavy the front brakes were high performance and super expensive) and then immediately sold it All of which was a part of the debt I just paid off...live and learn...used the money from selling it for a deposit on a new Cooper S, so that was money down the toilet as well!

efes_shareholder

re the dating game , my other half is very old school and believes that the man should pay for everything , I am the opposite and feel that i should contribute and also be able to treat him from time to time. There is no way I could be comfortable allowing him to pay out for our meals and nights out solely. It was a bit of a battle in the early days but now he knows that when I say " Im getting this" at the end of the meal he needs to just allow me or if  I suggest a takeaway I fully expect to pay for it.
There is no way on earth I would ever let him pay for our dinner on his birthday !!!!! 
I work in a very male oriented environment and when I first started dating , the boys at work gave me the advice that I should always offer to pay my half of the meal on a first date however if the offer was accepted then do not see them again as if a man has a honest interest in you there is no way he will accept your offer.
Its stood me in good steed.
I do know alot of women who play the dinner game and in my opinion its shallow !!!! 

rugbymadfamily

@ryanm8655 sounds like things are really coming together for you and your move - so pleased for you! I won't say anything about family other than agreeing with much of what has been said here!

Re kitting out the flat, definitely wilkos for glasses (their 50p champagne flutes and glasses look much better than the price suggests and they seem to be indestructible!). I've also got a cordless dyson, i bought a V7 just after they bought out the newest model cos the price dropped, well worth every penny for the ease of hovering. 

Not sure what sort of car you have (decent new one or an older run around) but on my previous cars (old run arounds!) I've always just got re-tread tyres, never brand new. They work perfectly fine if most of your mileage is around town and just few motorway trips. Worth thinking about as think they about an third of the price of brand new.

Hope all goes ok over Christmas, get out for walks when you can, have a few glasses of wine and remember there are only a few days left before moving!!!