Countdown from £28k...

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Mate not sure things will be any different first part of next year unfortunately more in tier 4 today.

Can you pay log burner, move and buy everything you need for the flat? If the answer is no, I’d reduce log burner money, they’re just trying to get what they can now before you move imo. As you say feeling unappreciated anyway, what’s the point?

Yeah, only hope is things are somewhat normal in the summer.

In terms of numbers, I’ll have about £2.5k to last until next pay day at the end of January but also have a hefty credit card to pay. Will need a quiet month of cooking lots at home etc. Things become more comfortable if I can shift the fragrances in the new year but that’s not guaranteed. Also when I shift the car but I’d imagine that’ll be hard to sell in tier 4, plus it might be useful initially when buying flat stuff. Also need to bear in mind that I’m down on pay until the end of the tax year. Plus I want to max out my LISA, which means saving a lot more than the £500 pencilled. Assuming I sell my car for £1500 then I need to pay in £770 per month.

On the plus side, it’ll be a while before my entertainment is £800/month.

My guesstimate is that I need to spend about £600 on home stuff. Need hoover, iron, kettle, toaster, bedding, plates, cups, glasses. 

I have an iron and ironing board but my uncle uses it so feel bad asking for it back, it is one of those awesome steam tank ones though plus the ironing board was a pricey one, so perhaps I will ask for it back. Though I did find it annoying as it was massive for getting in and out of the cupboard quickly when in a rush...

Uncle bought me knives for Christmas but suddenly realised I gave him my sabatier knives to use so I’m actually down there too As he’s keeping them. 

ryanm8655

warby68 said:

Do reduce the log burner money.
Its nice to be generous but they are grabby and its not as if the money is truly spare. You need it.

Very true. It’s just the Christmas awkwardness I’m keen to avoid ha. Also if they do happen to have spent a reasonable amount on me then it’ll be awkward too, though I’m hoping they haven’t. Did get me an expensive birthday gift though (c.£150) but that was unusual and also partly from my grandma. Last year I got pants and socks iirc ha.

I think I’ll sit down properly and run the numbers today. Doing a quick calculation, if I give them £400 then I’ve spent £650 on Christmas gifts alone (£50 on uncle and his kids, tenner on grandma, £590 on them and the kids). A further £80 on cousins birthday (including meal). £200 on Xmas groceries (excluding spends earlier in the month).

Plus there was the £135 on a family
meal at the beginning of December. I’ll also be paying for the chips for gammon tonight at about £12.

Amazed I have any money left at all ha.

warby68

I'll repeat my suggestion - some for Christmas, some as a leaving gift, that buys you time to see what happens at Christmas and make a final decision. 

ryanm8655

This morning hasn’t started well. Adult left at 4am this morning to go to Tesco (hence I was awake so early as my room faces the drive). They got back at 6am and have turned all of the Christmas lights on (cue disco through my curtains as the lights hang along the top of the ground floor windows). Can’t help feeling it’s a bit passive aggressive, they seemed off again when I got home yesterday. I suspect they thought I met up with people as spent from 12 till 8 out of the house...(gym, tyres, drive and shopping x2 - dropped off their list in between).

efes_shareholder

tell them the log burner money has been sacraficed to enable you to get out of their way as soon as possible!!
Actually you owe no explanation
Sounds like whatever you do they will expect more so just do what you feel comfortable with and what you can afford without compromising your situation.
Xmas is not about what you give nor recieve

ryanm8655

efes_shareholder said:

tell them the log burner money has been sacraficed to enable you to get out of their way as soon as possible!!
Actually you owe no explanation
Sounds like whatever you do they will expect more so just do what you feel comfortable with and what you can afford without compromising your situation.
Xmas is not about what you give nor recieve

Completely agree.

I think I’ll just stick £300 cash in an envelope.

@warby68 splitting the gift is a good shout. Just thinking it would look cheap then ha. Half tempted to get the national trust pass and then sling them some cash on moveday.

I can just imagine the passive aggressive Christmas Day though.

enthusiasticsaver

Oh dear  @ryanm8655 that does sound passive aggressive. Sounds like they are a family which go way overboard for Christmas. Tesco's at 4am!!! If you have spent £200 on Christmas groceries plus a meal out at the beginning of the month and a meal for cousins birthday and contribution to meal tonight you have more than paid your way this month. 

I also think that whatever you give them they will expect more so maybe give them £200 for Christmas instead of the £400 and see how they behave over the next week and if you can afford it the other £200 in a card on moving day saying thanks for having you or some such thing? Just one more week to go. You have sacrificed your privacy and independence for a year and helped them out a lot when they were ill and constantly shelling out for things from the sound of things. Looking back a set rent and buying your own food might have been a better way to go but for future relations I would bite your tongue and thank your lucky stars that London is Tier 4 so you won't have to see them for a while. 

Don't jeopardise January by overstretching. You have a credit card bill and moving expenses and setting up costs to shell out for. If they comment just make a joke by saying do they think you are made of money? As you say you will save on entertainment next month as nothing is open. 

stymied

Think positive - if the turkey was bought in this morning’s Tesco shop at least you haven’t had to pay for that too!

Legs21

I agree with @enthusiasticsaver - £200 in a card for Xmas and then £200 in a Thank You card when you leave (depending on how they are between Xmas and New Year!)
Just make sure you get the essentials to move into you new pad and the rest from month 2 onwards once you’ve settled in. Hoover can be bought in the sales if you’re that messy you’ll need it as soon as you move in 

ryanm8655

enthusiasticsaver said:

Oh dear  @ryanm8655 that does sound passive aggressive. Sounds like they are a family which go way overboard for Christmas. Tesco's at 4am!!! If you have spent £200 on Christmas groceries plus a meal out at the beginning of the month and a meal for cousins birthday and contribution to meal tonight you have more than paid your way this month. 

I also think that whatever you give them they will expect more so maybe give them £200 for Christmas instead of the £400 and see how they behave over the next week and if you can afford it the other £200 in a card on moving day saying thanks for having you or some such thing? Just one more week to go. You have sacrificed your privacy and independence for a year and helped them out a lot when they were ill and constantly shelling out for things from the sound of things. Looking back a set rent and buying your own food might have been a better way to go but for future relations I would bite your tongue and thank your lucky stars that London is Tier 4 so you won't have to see them for a while. 

Don't jeopardise January by overstretching. You have a credit card bill and moving expenses and setting up costs to shell out for. If they comment just make a joke by saying do they think you are made of money? As you say you will save on entertainment next month as nothing is open. 

All very sensible advice. Tier 4 is heading this way too so not a bad time to move to London after all. A kid at school has tested positive too so it’s definitely here...

Good shout on making a joke of it. The tier 4 comment did make me chuckle...

They do go fairly big on Christmas food wise. Christmas Eve they usually have everyone over for the ham and are usually quite scornful of my going out to the pub with mates instead haha. Though the 4am trip was partly because they just don’t sleep...

I usually love Christmas but there is usually far less financial pressure to spend, I have a budget and generally go a bit over it. But this year there has been a lot of expectation gifts wise. Won’t happen again at least! 

stymied said:

Think positive - if the turkey was bought in this morning’s Tesco shop at least you haven’t had to pay for that too!

Ha! The Tesco shop was to get vegetables...they went to the local butcher for the turkey afterwards.

I disappeared to the gym and was going to head to the local wine bar for some substantial cheese and biscuits and some wine but it’s closed (probably for the best ). Have headed to a cafe for lunch instead. This time last year I spent the afternoon hiding at the pub