Countdown from £28k...

IrishSean

I know its hard but bite your tongue, only days left now.

This was all inevitable, they will press you for more cash by any means possible before you leave. If you have a massive barney you'll be scape-goated as the 'one with the problem' for years; its how im being framed for questioning decisions (well, decision) on sale of parents' estate even though solicitor totally agreed with me in my views. Ones it sells next year i'll also be free in countless ways. 

I know anger at how bookies & casinos treated me helped me stay out of debt due to them:
Use the fact you never want to be in debt again and be reliant on moving back there as your motivation to stay debt free. A small, indirect benefit but a worthwhile one. 

Any chance the kids could respite with you when theyre a bit older? A floor is better at times than a king-size bed in a toxic environment...

2021 will seem different in soo many ways...

warby68

Just hang on and try and detach. It really isn't long now. 
I still think a couple of choice remarks are due, if only to head off a potential explosion as that never ends well. 
Do NOT let them guilt trip you into more money - in fact knock a tenner off every time they say something and mentally smile to yourself that they are getting the opposite of what they're trying for
You will be a valuable relative to those children one day.

ryanm8655

Thanks for the replies all. You’re right, just need to bite my tongue and hold out. I probably am a bit sensitive to certain comments that I’d normally be able to take with a pinch of salt. I think I’ll just try and stay out the house as much as possible without spending money. Tonight they’re all in the living room watching films while I had dinner and am drinking wine in the kitchen went to the gym at dinner time so slightly out of sync. My uncle is down on the 22nd so that will help. Then it’s Christmas when I’ll likely be perpetually drunk anyhow

Good news is agent got back to me and they’ve just done the check out so the flat is available now. I don’t get paid until the 31st (checked today) and with Christmas stuff still to buy I don’t quite have enough for deposit and rent (£3k) so thinking shift it to the 2nd of January. Arranged a mate to help out. Just waiting on uncle to give the ok to go to his on the 31st and stay until the 2nd.

Don’t know if it’s the wine or the fact I had a good day at work (no longer feel like an imposter as boss wants to keep me if she can, over the more experienced person who is due back from maternity in May which is quite a vote of confidence). I think she was impressed I’m thinking about the future and developing the broader skills for the next level, where you kind of need to be a jack of all trades (which suits me ha) and just help think stuff through then get others to do the dog work lol. 

Need an inventory for the flat so that I can work out what I need and do a bit more planning.

Bought steak for the family tonight. Just felt like it’d be taking the pee a bit if I let them buy it (kids had fish fingers and chips so was just for the adults). I was tempted to just let them pay for it but I just couldn’t. They have bought steak for me for a Friday night treat before and they weren’t expecting me to pay, so I felt it was justifiable. Only £15 from the butchers so not bad given the quality. Also puts my weekly shop spend upto the £60 mark, so what I consider to be fair. Will probably spend some more this weekend on snack bits but absolutely sticking to the £400 for the log burner.

alt80

That's great news if you can move on 2nd - new year, new start. 2021 going to be your year mate, no debt, earning more, great flat in a super location. Not gonna lie I'm a bit envious, you've got it made now - right attitude going to see you go far, don't let the family grind you down 100 not worth it now.

Great news re the work. Liked your assessment of the next level work wise, that's what running my business is like these days - could do no fee earners if I chose but do like to keep my hand in and would miss it if I never went out on a job but have started to see I was doing a bit too much working 11/12 hour days and every weekend until recently. Been my life for 15 years, just realising now that working 8/9 hour days doesn't mean everything going to go to !!!!!!. Have got a new fee earning member of staff now so that's helping too. Know it's harder when you're working for someone else but having reassessed an awful lot of stuff myself, I do think you need some balance. Know you've been working long hours recently, sometimes things are like that but don't make it your whole life especially not when its not your business.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

That's great news if you can move on 2nd - new year, new start. 2021 going to be your year mate, no debt, earning more, great flat in a super location. Not gonna lie I'm a bit envious, you've got it made now - right attitude going to see you go far, don't let the family grind you down 100 not worth it now.

Great news re the work. Liked your assessment of the next level work wise, that's what running my business is like these days - could do no fee earners if I chose but do like to keep my hand in and would miss it if I never went out on a job but have started to see I was doing a bit too much working 11/12 hour days and every weekend until recently. Been my life for 15 years, just realising now that working 8/9 hour days doesn't mean everything going to go to !!!!!!. Have got a new fee earning member of staff now so that's helping too. Know it's harder when you're working for someone else but having reassessed an awful lot of stuff myself, I do think you need some balance. Know you've been working long hours recently, sometimes things are like that but don't make it your whole life especially not when its not your business.

Haha, not sure about made but things are looking up and I have plans on the career front, which is good.

Agreed on the balance, it’s been a welcome distraction of late but things should be much quieter going forward. Though busy times will come again no doubt. The dream would be working for myself but it’s not something I could see myself doing in my industry and that’s not a confidence thing, I’m just not quite sure how it would work. Maybe I’ll change my mind. But the small time contractors get paid a pittance as far as I could tell but then maybe they have loads of small contracts on the go. 

Good that you’re learning to cede control a bit and get a bit of balance, can understand why you’d be wanting to get your hands dirty though, particularly if you get a kick out of it. I guess things are helped in your industry by the fact that it’s clear when people aren’t performing as they aren’t bringing money in, so lots of incentive there.

Still think I’d rather do law but I also now see that at this point in my life I can be happy in what I’m doing and live a decent life. Just need to keep progressing and pushing.

Had a couple of glasses of wine tonight, don’t know why but I always wake up in the night after a bit of wine. Doesn’t seem to agree with my insides... Woke up at 2.30am. Hopefully nod off soon.

Been thinking about bills etc. Looks like Internet might be slightly pricier than budgeted depending on whether I go for fibre. How do you decide speed? Basically all I do is stream music and tv, browse the internet and work... Not really a gamer...

Plan for the second looks a goer. 

warby68

We have TalkTalk Fibre something or other £22 pm - its fine, often 1 gamer and 2 streamers live plus other devices, including my large PLC employer's system loaded onto my laptop for WFH.
I know TalkTalk's reputation is not brilliant but we've had them a long time and ours is ok so can't be bothered with a move. We also live on the top of a hill quite a long way from the box. You can probably tell I'm amateur hour for technical features of broadband but its just an example of cheap with no complaints and plenty of use.

ryanm8655

warby68 said:

We have TalkTalk Fibre something or other £22 pm - its fine, often 1 gamer and 2 streamers live plus other devices, including my large PLC employer's system loaded onto my laptop for WFH.
I know TalkTalk's reputation is not brilliant but we've had them a long time and ours is ok so can't be bothered with a move. We also live on the top of a hill quite a long way from the box. You can probably tell I'm amateur hour for technical features of broadband but its just an example of cheap with no complaints and plenty of use.

That’s handy to know. I can go into the office for work but do a lot of data heavy stuff. I’m not so great on the technical side of the internet so not sure whether faster broadband would help with work stuff loading more quickly or whether it’s more the laptop struggles and the work server. Basic internet, the cheapest seems to be post office or plusnet for around 11mb average and comes in around 17-18 quid a month. There is a new company called hyperoptic, which is £22 for 30mb fibre. May just go for the fibre for piece of mind. Quidco also have cash back.

ryanm8655

Looks as though London is going to be tier 4...not sure what that means in terms of moving. Can you move house in tier 4?

SusieT

ryanm8655 said:

Looks as though London is going to be tier 4...not sure what that means in terms of moving. Can you move house in tier 4?

House moving is allowed so you can still get out and retrieve your sanity!
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/tier-4-stay-at-home#moving-home

ryanm8655

SusieT said:

ryanm8655 said:

Looks as though London is going to be tier 4...not sure what that means in terms of moving. Can you move house in tier 4?

House moving is allowed so you can still get out and retrieve your sanity!
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/tier-4-stay-at-home#moving-home

Yay! That tickled me