Housework

ibizafan_2

My OH is fully retired and I am semi retired, still doing an evening job three times a week. I do all the cleaning (partly because I am better at it!) and the laundry. OH does all the gardening, bins, decorating, some cooking and some ironing. Works for us.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't really matter how other people divide up the jobs - you're not happy with the way it's being done in your house.

Why doesn't your OH do their share?

+1 to this. :T

Pollycat

pattycake wrote: »

I was a stay at home mother supporting my husband with a high powered job with a lot of travel. I did absolutely everything in the home and garden so we could relax as a family when he was at home.

Fast forward a few years and he is now retired and things haven’t changed much! The garden is too much for me now so we pay someone to do it. My DH will do a job if asked but generally he doesn’t notice. The only thing I point blank refuse to do is clean the car. It’s only when it’s filthy and the nagging gets too much, does he go out and clean it!

Having said that, it’s mostly my own fault that the work falls to me as I don’t think he does such a good job as I do. Years of practice!

ibizafan wrote: »

My OH is fully retired and I am semi retired, still doing an evening job three times a week. I do all the cleaning (partly because I am better at it!) and the laundry. OH does all the gardening, bins, decorating, some cooking and some ironing. Works for us.

Are you both satisfied with this arrangement?
Because I certainly wouldn't be.

Maybe they're 'not as good at it' as you are because they know that you'll do it. :think:

esmy

It took 20 years + for us when we both worked to hit a happy medium, involving me going on 'strike' now and again ('What's for tea?' 'No idea....') and pointing out that no one is born knowing how to do housework - we all have to learn. I'm now retired and OH still works full time but may retire in the next year or so, so things will change again.

Currently I do most of it, OH deals with all laundry and ironing, which I hate, he's naturally tidier than me so will keep on top of my messy tendencies, I decorate because I enjoy it, he'll labour for me if pushed! I suppose we work to our strengths.

Caraway90

_shel wrote: »

I do most but I don't work but hubby has his jobs like the bins, lawns etc.

If you both work or are both at home it should be split more evenly imo

We both leave the house around 7.30 and get home around 5.30. I finish at 4 on a Friday but other than that we have very similair working hours.

Caraway90

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't really matter how other people divide up the jobs - you're not happy with the way it's being done in your house.

Why doesn't your OH do their share?

That's a very good point, and he basically just doesn't do them He would never just think to hoover, dust, general cleaning. If I mention what needs doing he won't do it either.

pearl123

Housework is just plain boring. I do it, but I hate it.

Pollycat

On the subject of 'teaching blokes how to behave'...my first husband - who worked in an office environment at the time - had a habit of taking his shirt off still buttoned up and inside out, despite many requests not to.
It didn't take him long to change when he realised that I was washing his shirts as he took them off and was ironing them inside out with the crease down the arm the wrong way.
Hammered the message home faster than going on strike as he had to 'undo' what I'd ironed by ironing them again. :rotfl:

Mojisola

Caraway90 wrote: »

That's a very good point, and he basically just doesn't do them He would never just think to hoover, dust, general cleaning. If I mention what needs doing he won't do it either.

Is that because he doesn't think they need doing or because he thinks it should be your job?

You can get into all sorts of things like listing all the jobs that need doing, dividing them between you and then having a tick-off chart for when they're done or you could stop doing things that affect him until he starts pulling his weight.

Unless I was insisting on an excessive standard of cleaning, I'd feel very resentful if my OH didn't share the chores - I'm his partner, not his maid. I don't think we'd have got together if he wasn't like he is.

Caraway90

hazyjo wrote: »

Did you not allocate jobs each when you moved in? From my experience, a lot of men need 'telling' (sorry fellas!). They won't necessarily notice or know that things need doing and still tend to do 'traditional roles' like bins, mowing lawns/gardening, car stuff, driving, etc.


Obviously not speaking for everyone. I do the driving and go to work. My OH stays at home and does EVERYTHING (cooking, cleaning, hoovering, the lot - even makes me a cuppa while I'm getting ready and runs my bath for me).


My sis complains a lot that her OH doesn't do anything. My reply is usually STOP BLOODY DOING IT FOR HIM THEN! She'll moan he's not put something in the dishwasher or washed it up (then does it for him), moaned about the ironing or hanging washing, or cooking - and I just don't understand why she thinks he's suddenly going to change after 26+ years. Surely it'd be easier to have jobs each, even if you have to have a chart or remind them when it needs doing (and vice versa!).

We had some DIY to do when we moved in, so he took the lead with that and I did the majority of the housework, and things like decorating can be very time consuming. But when there hasn't been a DIY project on the go he won't muck with the "boring" stuff.
The part about traditional roles defintely applies to us! I had a seizure in April, so despite having a license and a car I can't drive at the moment.
I think part of the problem is that I can't just leave washing up on the side, I hate seeing all the dirty plates etc just sat there. If he doesn't care about them being sat then I don't think he has any motivation to wash them up :mad:
I don't think having jobs each would make much difference as he still just wouldn't do them.