Aspergers/ASD support thread

shazrobo

sarah that must have been so awful for you to witness your son been handcuffed like that, my heart goes out to you, thought i had seen everything with my two darlings and trashed classrooms. for all those fighting for a statement, good luck, keep pushing them. only one of mine got a statement in primary school, they said other son was just copying his brother as twins do. he went to secondary school without a statement and the head there said it was unusual to statement a high school kid, if there has been no need for a statement before. luckily the school supported us in the need for a statement, because without one he would not have got in to the school where he is now.
both kids are in school where the max class size is 8, in some lessons there are only 2 kids in at a time, and the difference in sons behaviour is so much better.

duchy

Sorry I'm dropping by on and off but tie is really short at the moment.
So many of the difficulties we face as parents stem from lack of understanding of ASD from society in general. It seems that even when it is explained some people just don't understand.
I worked for a year as an LSA in a large high school. The school had an ASD unit attached yet still there was little understanding. The school also had a bullying problem and several of the mainstream with support ASD kids (eg not assigned unit places as it was horribly over-subscribed) were getting badly bullied. The school claimed to be doing all they could but one day one of the kids in my son's year group mentioned to me that something Josh did annoyed him as it was "silly". I explained that Josh wasn't been "silly" but because of his Aspergers was reacting to loud noise differently and he couldn't help it. The kids were really interested and asked lots of questions despite having supposedly been fully informed what AS is (clearly whoever taught that workshop had done a rubbish job). I answered their questions as fully and honestly as i could and saw a big change. These same kids would approach other kids and tell they to leave the AS kids alone that they weren't been annoying but couldn't help their reactions and they then continued the process of informing. I asked the school if I could run informal workshops to try and build on this but was told no-it had been done before and hadn't worked <shrug>
I don't know how we educate people except one at a time and we all need to be actively doing it. I will mention my son has AS and when asked what it is....I'm always pleased to find people listen and usually say something like "I didn't realise that's why my neighbour/nephew/child's classmate acts like that" and often go on to ask quite perceptive questions. I guess WE need to educate the world one by one.

MyUserNamesTaken

http://www.youtube.com/groups_videos?name=thinkdifferently

Carrera74

My son was restrained at school before he was excluded for 15 days and then he went to the short stay school. I can’t get the picture out of my head of him on the floor with 2 teachers either side of him pinning him down. He had tried to leave class after throwing things about and was blocked into a corner by a teacher and he kicked off big time! When I got there he was so upset, absolutely petrified. It broke my heart. He was restrained at the short stay school once as he refused to go to school. They knew what they were doing and didn’t hurt him. Unfortunately at mainstream they didn’t have a clue and pinned him down any whole how. Before I had even got there the Head had pulled him with his arm out of the way (which left marks). She said he had gone to hit her so she acted in self defence. He is back at mainstream now and after a bad day earlier this week they have set a new strategy up for him which states that if he is becoming anxious in class then after asking him to leave a number of times they will call for the Head and if that doesn’t work they will either remove the class or restrain him. I know when he has his fits of rage that it can be dangerous not only for him but for the class as well as being destructive to whatever is around him. I should know I’ve been on the other end of this but he has his ‘warning signs’ which don’t get picked up so by the time he’s peaked into one of his episodes it’s too late. It’s virtually impossible to get through to him when he reaches a certain stage. He has to peak at self destructing before he’ll begin to calm down. It’s awful. Is their a law about teachers restraining pupils – surely they should be trained in this especially if they have children at the school that are statemented due to behavioural and emotional special needs?

We have my son’s annual review soon and he is on band B of the funding. The school have said that it isn’t enough as they are having to use valuable funding time for breaktimes and lunch – he really struggles socially. He tries bless him but he just doesn’t get it L

The SENCO at the school is being absolutely fantastic. The Head is a different matter. I do feel like she doesn’t want him at the school. He is a sweetheart deep down (I‘m bound to say that aren’t I!) but he is. It just takes you to get to know him and his ways and once you understand him he’s fine. The short stay school got to know him. Unfortunately mainstream class sizes are too big and they don’t really have the resources so I wonder if mainstream really is best for him. He wants to be there but I want what’s best for him.

Oh a glass of vino I think…..

Hugs to everyone today. I know I don’t have it as bad as others who come here but I feel like I’m climbing mountains some days too but we’ll all get there won’t we?! J

blue_monkey_2

Evening everyone. I signed the petition, I did not realise a petition had been done before, let's hope it makes a difference.

I worry so much for the future for my son, I know we all do, but the violence issue is just one that can get them into so much trouble, when do you let them go and make it for themselves? Ever? I think Ryan has got better recently as I have changed how I am with him (I know, it's is shocking I guess you guys have given me a chance to think of things) but I ask him to do things in a different way and it does seem to work. If he can;t get his own way though all hell breaks loose.

I was in the bath tonight and was thinking on my daughter, she is the same as Ryan I guess but she is able to leave it 'at the school gate' and is not aggressive to other kids, just towards Ryan and sometimes me - she bites herself too. I am thinking I should see the doctor about her as well, just to rule everything out. Today when she could not get her own way over having a banana NOW or something she just freaked, punching doors, screaming, throwing things at me, growling at me like an animal, she did it the other morning as well because she could not have a yogurt as we had to get dresed for school. *sigh* someone please tell me this is normal for a 5 year old who can't get her own way as I find it quite disturbing at times (she is also a red head, I just thought it wasa strong personality). I suppose it did not help that I laughed at her but it is either laugh or cry sometimes. she even went to pick up the bike to throw at me. Her face just contorts into anger but she shows no other signs like Ryan does I guess.

So housing. the time is knocking on, tonight I have drafted a letter I will send on Saturday to the council to arrive on Monday Special Delivery. I've marked it urgent and I have outlined all the problems I have with Ryan and what I need. you know how I feel about this but if I do not ask I will not get so i figured it was time to start asking for what I wanted. I have asked for a front garden and have explained that he runs as soon as the door is open and I don't want him running out onto a road or busy area, I have asked for a back garden as we have a trampoline for him to let off steam and him being out of the house means I get a break from him, also that we don't go out as we cannot so he needs somewhere to run off steam. I have asked for them to have their own rooms and have explained why. I am feeling a little down about it today because I found the PERFECT house http://www.letslettings.co.uk/Search_Details/Sale_Detail.asp?Prop_Id=653 it would have meant the kids have their own rooms and a double garage so I could house my stock and still work, it is in the middle of nnowhere so there is no one else to bother when he has his temper tantrums and it would have been affordable if I was working. i sat looking at it for an hour before deciding to call the letting agent. But no, the agent will not have us because of our debts. So it seems the council have to do something and if I don't ask I know I won't get. I have asked on another board what else I need to do to make sure I am doing everything right. I have also pointed in the letter out that I have not been given enough points as per their website and I trust that these will be added accordinally and they will let me know by letter what my new total is. I think the letter is quite good and outlines it all, but I guess it depends on whether they beleive me or not. So, I guess it is just fingers crossed and only time will tell.

Hope everyone has had a good evening and their children have been OK. Just watching that thing on the news about those poor horses, makes you weep really doesn't it how people treat their animals.

Savvy_Sue

sarah1975uk wrote: »

you wouldnt beleive what the school have done to my son they have had the police out to him when ive been phoned and 15 mins away and put into handcuffs, ive been phoned every day to leave work and go and get him, and also walked into a class room with 4 teachers hold him down and son so upset and distressed that he tells me he feels not good enough.

When I first read this, I thought "Why is he still at that school?" So I was glad to see you are going to look at another one on Friday. When you described the incident some more, I was even more horrified by the police action.

Frankly, I was astonished that you were not kept in the same room as your son. Did I read it right that two police officers were with him - and no staff, no-one who knew him? Surely children should ALWAYS have an 'appropriate adult' present in such circumstances? And indeed, as your children grow older, it may be worth making sure that you and they know to ASK for this should police involvement ever be a risk ...

Savvy_Sue

fallen_angel_69 wrote: »

Sorry if post seems all muddled dd2 up till 12 and them raiding kitchen cupboards at 4.30 sorrry not 4.30 as i said dd2 delightfully corrected me when i told her off this morning it was 4.23

:rotfl:Yup, pedantry as an art form ...

sarah1975uk

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

When I first read this, I thought "Why is he still at that school?" So I was glad to see you are going to look at another one on Friday. When you described the incident some more, I was even more horrified by the police action.

Frankly, I was astonished that you were not kept in the same room as your son. Did I read it right that two police officers were with him - and no staff, no-one who knew him? Surely children should ALWAYS have an 'appropriate adult' present in such circumstances? And indeed, as your children grow older, it may be worth making sure that you and they know to ASK for this should police involvement ever be a risk ...

Hi Sue

Reason i have kept in this school is to not complicate the statement process anymore. I will name a different school in the statement. This was under advice from SNIP. (special needs involving parents). As for the police when i initially saw my son he was with special needs manger/teacher at the laptop head and other senior teachers were about too in the classroom too. When i got there they left i was with my son and the special needs manager/teacher 2 police then entered the room a matter of minute or so i was taken into next door classroom with 1 officer, which left my son with the special needs maanger/teacher and the other 1 police officer. At the point of handcuffing im still not clear on whether the teacher was in the classroom with my son and the officer or whether it was the officer and my son alone. I am still going through the police complaints proceedure and will make this point with them tomorrow. Whether teacher was there or not is not the point the point is that i was in the next room and before anythign was ever done i should have been called upon to be with my son to deal with him before ever cuffing him. He was calm until the point of cuffing and i really dont feel that cuffing a 9 yr old with special needs for not walking out of a classroom is justification of cuffing.

PasturesNew

MyUserNamesTaken wrote: »

Here's a petition to sign:


http://www.think-differently.org.uk/sign%20our%20petition.aspx

I have signed this.
Thank you.

PasturesNew

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

:rotfl:Yup, pedantry as an art form ...

Please don't mock people who like to be precise.



It hurts.

This is one area that I have felt confused over. When I correct things/people/details. In correcting, it makes me feel useful, helpful, part of something (some team spirit). When correcting people is then knocked back it hurts. And when people say that precision isn't important, that is confusing. To me, being precise, exact, correct, most accurate is very important. I feel that without accuracy how can I (anybody) know the situation, the story. Inaccuracies lead to confusion and errors. It's REALLY important.

When I correct something and am knocked back, it's something that makes me want to run and be alone. I don't understand why I was knocked back when I was trying to be helpful.

So remember that people. Accuracy can be a very important and essential thing to Aspies.

I have to stop now, I am tying myself in knots over this out of the frustration at not feeling I am conveying the importance of this.