Aspergers/ASD support thread

blue_monkey_2

Morning everyone. Well, in case you are wondering - I kept Ryan off school and I was honest about why I was not sending him in and said he as clearly not up for it, he has spent some time in the night awake and screaming so wondered whether this played a part in it and that I'd rather of been on the safe side. He was a different boy yesterday - I think he was worried about things.

However, I did speak to the head and told her and she told me that the day before he had sat in her office and then she had taken him to the classroom and helped him put his costume on and they had looked in the mirror and that if he had decided not to do it then they were just going to take him aside. There was no mention of the threat of no party!! So, it either seems she did not tell me the full truth OR the teacher is saying these things to him so she can get him to do what she wants!!! either way I was really not sure what to make of that.

But, all is calm and well other than that, I've church this morning so I had better get off. Oh and if you have a turkey ordered for Tesco home delivery (as we all love going to the supermarket right!!) please read my other posts. it means a trip into town today - which I am sooooo looking forward to. I hate shopping with Ryan, LOL!

purplewombat

Hi

I wondered if anyone had experience of having a child with ASD in secondary school? My son is due to start secondary in a year or so and I'm worried that he might find it a bit overwhelming. Sorry if this has been covered, theres so many posts on this thread I haven't managed to read them all yet!

karmacookie

Hi purplewombat

My son started secondary school in August. I worried about it for about 2 years before hand but, apart from the odd problem it has so far been quite a positive experience. My son loves the structure of his new timetable and I think he is enjoying being around kids that do not remember how 'different' he used to be when he was younger.

I've had to give him more freedom which is really scarey i.e. leaving school at lunchtime to go to a cafe with friends for lunch, yikes! But so far so good.

We are both looking forward to the holiday though, I think Al is quite near burnout with all the extra demands of his new experiences, its hard work for him to fit in and we both find it very hard to keep him organised for all the different subjects and extra curricular activities he has signed up for. We are really looking forward to some chill out time and long lies. mind you, that said, he will probably be unsetled cause although he needs the break he will miss the routine.

duchy

I used to work as a contractor with-in a global IT consultancy. The company employed a large number of IT analysts-who did a lot of ground breaking work. The vast majority of them were very bright but with poor social skills-yet earned massive salaries. I'd say the majority were undiagnosed AS.

ms_piggy

Can you go private? (not very MSE I know but my mum's really worried about this). Any help/advice would be great
Thanks[/quote]
hi there in answer to your question- yes you can go private but it is expensive. You will need to find an INDEPENDANT educational psychologist (not one affiliated with social services -money issues) Have found the national autistic society cannot recommend so contact a local ASD group (nas may be able to help with contact details) and ask parents there if they have had any dealings. I didn't do this and paid£450 for a report I couldnt use. May be worth contacting your brother's school to see if they can help. i dont think they are allowed to recommend but they may be willing to "accidentally" let something slip!
Hope it goes well

ms_piggy

finc wrote: »

I didn't know that. My 9 year old daughter is also in the process of being assessed for Aspergers and she had a really awful birth, mainly due to poor medical care. I'd hate to think that it could have been avoided.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but can anyone who has already been through the assessment process give me an idea how long it usually takes. We started over a year ago and there still hasn't been any diagnosis either way.

Hi Finc - My son was diagnosed through my local CAMHS referred by my doctor as my son was suicidal.A friend recommended i make a list of his life and any unusual reactions. I listed birth,milestones and dates achieved, preschool, each year at school (school reports were very useful here)areas of concern etc. Keep a copy of ALL correspondance. Bear in mind that often local authorities tell the CAMHS teams to diagnose as little as possible as once a diagnosis is made there are responsibilities on the authority which cost them money. My advice is dont give up and be prepared to be a pain in the bum . Shout write letters do whatever it takes to get the diagnosis (your local MP may lend a bit of wieght)
Once you have the diagnosis claim disability living allowance and carers allowance -Some CAMHS teams tell you about this others dont.
keep going it is worth it in the end

ms_piggy

hi squoog

Been there done that with the schools etc it's no good looking back and beating ourselves up about it put it down to ignorance and move on to support your child. The diagnosis can feel like a smack in the face but again look to the positive give yourself time to grieve .when you have done that you will then be able to see a diagnosis is great. you know what the problem is and although you may not be able to fix it you can do research, find support groups etc the support groups in particular are brill you are not alone and there are hundreds of parents who know exactly where you are coming from.
RE the birth issues- I have 2 sons both ASD/C and both had normal births so hope that helps re guilt issues.
Also re your 2yr old son- trust your instincts. asd/c often runs in families so dont be fobbed off by anyone, you are THE expert on your child

fallen_angel_69

SORRY this long but when i found out my dd had asd her teacher gave me this and when i found out my 2nd dd had asd to i got it out to re-read and it 's kinda how you feel.
welcome to holland i am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people understand imagine it's like this...
when you have a baby it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to italy you buy all the guide books and make wonderful plans the coliseum the gondolas You may learn some handy phrase its all very exciting
after months of anticipation the day finally arrives you pack your bags and of you go Several hours later the stewardess comes in and says Welome to Holland
Holland you say what do you mean Holland i signed up for italy all my life i've dreamed of italy
But there was achange in the flight plan They've landed in Holland and there you must stay
The important thing is they haven't taken you to a disgusting filthy place full of famine and disease It's just a different place
So out you go and buy new guide books you learn a whole new language and you meet a whole new group f people you never would have met
It's just a slower place than italy less flashy but after you have been there a while and you catch your breath you look around and you begin to notice that holland has windmills holland has tulips
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from italy they are all bragging about what a wonderfull time they had there and for the rest of your life you will say yes that was where i was supposed to go that's what i had planned
The pain of that will never go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didnt get to italy you may never be free to enjoy the VERY SPECIAL the very lovely thing about holland

blue_monkey_2

Thank you so much for sharing that fallen angel - it really puts everything in perspective doesn't it?

Today when I was shopping (I don't usually do shopping with my son as he is an absolute nightmare, hates the poeple, the noises, etc... but thanks to Tesco and their disppearing turkeys I have had to go shopping) anyway, we got to the checkout and it was fairly quiet when he wanted to get a basket and put 'the stuff in it that he likes' I let him and I told him to put them on the belt and then at the end he wanted the bags. You know what, for the first time I thought 'sod it' and let him do it and did not let anyone else rush me through the checkout and he was as good as gold while I was paying and everyone was saying how lovely he was that he was helping. He does like to help and he does like something to do - only it's not the stuff like tidying up or eating his dinner!!

It is nice when people see the lovely side as 15 minutes earlier he had been sitting in the trolley making this high pitched scream and telling me how much he hates me with everyone else to hear but it is funny how much of the behaviour you don't realise is happening until other people notice him doing it.

ms_piggy

hi blue monkey i know of some mums who "bribe " their kids when shopping. one takes a catalogue with pictures of fans (guess what his "thing " is ) another will let her child go and look at the electrical section if the child has been good. You get the idea I know it doesnt always work and with some kids it never works Thats when the online delivery service comes into its own. Sometimes dark glasses and or earmufs/headphones help but again this will depend on the child. Hope you are claiming DLA + carers allowance