Aspergers/ASD support thread

Snaggles

Gosh, that must be hard if you live in Scotland - it doesn't sound like you have much support from the school. Just keep pushing for the help your shild needs, and hopefully you will get somewhere. Don't know what else to suggest really, but it must be really difficult.

Lindens, I'd never thought of teaching Ryan anything like that (he's 7, so maybe a little on the young side, but not by much, from the sound of it). He likes chess and knows how all the different pieces move, and how to checkmate, although he does like to cheat a little bit to make sure he wins! So maybe he would like something like that too. Hmmm....will have to get my Mum and Dad to get their bridge set out so I can learn the rules.

Snaggles

I can't make small talk either....as you may have noticed!

Ending this post now, although the urge to keep typing is almost overwhelming because I haven't told you everything that's in my head yet!!

Savvy_Sue

PasturesNew wrote: »

In fact, I'd say an AS man is probably seen as a bit of a catch. They're more likely to be open, honest, straight forward and pretty much a safe bet that they won't be wandering off.

The chap we live with is entirely honest and straight forward. He wouldn't 'wander' without telling you he was doing so, and why. On the other hand, some information is given on a strictly 'need to know' basis: how he's 'feeling' is not up for discussion very often ... and I'm not sure he's that interested in how we're feeling, although if asked he will give reassurance that I'm doing OK, if life gets too stressy, as it tends to with a teenager determined to fail his English GCSE ... and an 18 yo threatening to have 15 friends round for a sleepover tomorrow, but I know no more than that, and the one with AS trying to sort out a Disabled Student grant in an entirely laid back manner ...

G2G, mean to come back later with some philosophical thoughts on Guilt and Shame!

kit

Snaggles wrote: »

..... but just wanted to say I have added a glossary of abbreviations to the first post. If anyone wants any others adding, just give me a shout.

I have been 'advised' (ok, told!) that ASD is no longer 'PC'. We are now meant to say ASC ..... its a condition, not a disorder.

Snaggles

kit wrote: »

I have been 'advised' (ok, told!) that ASD is no longer 'PC'. We are now meant to say ASC ..... its a condition, not a disorder.

Oh my goodness! Well, I'm sorry if anyone is offended by the word 'disorder', but we are going through the process of getting a diagnosis at the moment and I haven't heard it called Autism Spectrum Condition. Yikes, it's a bit of a minefield isn't it?

I have amended the first post to reflect it though.

Savvy_Sue

As I see it, there's only one reason anyone should feel guilty: because they've done something wrong.

Once you've know you've done something wrong, if you do something to put it right, there's no need to feel guilty any longer. The guilt should be a prompt to action, and once you've taken the action, job done, guilt gone.

Shame, I guess, may have longer lasting effects. But I think it has similarities: talk of 'shaming' one's family is meant to induce guilt, IMO.

G2G again, I know it's a bit simplistic, but does it make sense?

kit

Snaggles wrote: »

Oh my goodness! Well, I'm sorry if anyone is offended by the word 'disorder', but we are going through the process of getting a diagnosis at the moment and I haven't heard it called Autism Spectrum Condition. Yikes, it's a bit of a minefield isn't it?

I have amended the first post to reflect it though.

Soooooo many changes in the 'PC' phrasing ........ I havent got my head round the change from 'brain storming' to 'Blue Sky Thinking'.... and I have to admit that I still call a black board a black board!
I only found out about the ASD / ASC change due to me having to write various policies / procedures for my company.

Snaggles

Lol at 'blue sky thinking' - I have never heard that one either! :rotfl:

squoog

Hi, I'm new here and have tearfully skimmed through as many pages as I can. Its a great thread to find, my son has just turned 13 and was diagnosed 18 months ago with aspergers. I knew it for a long time and knew he was different from around his 1st birthday. So many things I've read here ring true or remind me of some of the horrors we have been through with school.
I have found the diagnosis hard to come to terms with for lots of reasons. Also, how late it came and how hard we tried to make him fit in a box that he never could have. I feel so guilty for that. I feel I put school, society, other people before my son, trying to please them and stop my son upsetting them instead of trying to enlighten them to accepting difference.
I'm glad ASD is now ASC but I wish it had changed before C was diagnosed because the word disorder has stuck with him.

I wondered if anyone else read the article in the Sunday express last weekend. There is research to say that cutting the babys umbilical cord too soon after birth could be a cause of the rising incidence of autism. I cried when I read this as I have long suspected that something around birth or soon after could have caused a problem. C was born by c. section so would have had his cord cut immediately. I also had such problems breastfeeding that he was admitted to hosp at 1 week old dehydrated and having lost too much weight. I wonder if the combination of these things could have affected him...
Does anyone else worry about the cause?
C is my oldest, I have an 8 yr old and 2 year old twins(boy/girl). I have some concerns about my 2 yr old son but probably just over anxious.
I look forward to getting to know you all.

blue_monkey_2

Hi squoog and welcome to our little forum.

First of all it is great that you have found out that your son has a diagnoses and second you should not feel bad about what has happened in the past. I think it important that you do not 'stick this label' on your son;s head and treat him any differently. I know it is hard to say but he is still the same boy you have had for all this time.

I don;t think we will ever know if there is a 'cause' and as with many things, ther eis always going to be some 'link' MMR for example. I don;t think the MMR has caused my son to be this way, he has had his ways for a long time but as the children get older more and more things become apparent as it is harder to strap them into buggies and the like to be able to control them. I think more the diagnosis is important to ensure your son gets the best education and treatment while he is not with you (so when he is at school or in after school clubs for example) and this is why I want to get a diagnosis - to ensure the help he is getting at school continues and to ensure the other people around him have an understanding of how to treat him.

I think it is very difficult to be over anxious - in the same way it is hard to know whether a child so young has something or not - I think once the terrible twos are out of the way (and I have friends with children who were far worse than my son was at that age but have not shown to be anything like he is now) you'll get a better idea.

Anyway, welcome for joining, it is a great place just to sound off if you need it along with others who have an understanding ear and who can give you some advice. Most of us are newly diagnosed too so you'll probably know more than we do!!