Aspergers/ASD support thread

PasturesNew

Phil

I am late 40s and I have only JUST found out myself that I have AS. So it's certainly not something anybody's looking for or noticing when they're dating etc.

In fact, I'd say an AS man is probably seen as a bit of a catch. They're more likely to be open, honest, straight forward and pretty much a safe bet that they won't be wandering off.

We aren't talking about nutters here. AS people are very often (myself included) very highly intelligent. The only difference is we think and act differently. More precisely, more planned. More concisely.

What girl wouldn't fall for a quiet, nice guy when the rest are drunken, irresponsible, woman-chasing idiots? No contest.

AS is a fairly "new" thing to have been found. So there are thousands of people undiagnosed dotted about the place. Quietly getting on with their lives.

studentphil

PasturesNew wrote: »

Phil

I am late 40s and I have only JUST found out myself that I have AS. So it's certainly not something anybody's looking for or noticing when they're dating etc.

In fact, I'd say an AS man is probably seen as a bit of a catch. They're more likely to be open, honest, straight forward and pretty much a safe bet that they won't be wandering off.

We aren't talking about nutters here. AS people are very often (myself included) very highly intelligent. The only difference is we think and act differently. More precisely, more planned. More concisely.

What girl wouldn't fall for a quiet, nice guy when the rest are drunken, irresponsible, woman-chasing idiots? No contest.

AS is a fairly "new" thing to have been found. So there are thousands of people undiagnosed dotted about the place. Quietly getting on with their lives.

You are correct there that there are many nice sides to ASD people that someone could like.

ASD is like Dyslexia and other SPLDs in that they are conditions of an highly advanced society (though advanced is open to question I accept.), for example, in the past it didn't matter if you didn't read or had great social skills, but in our society you need high social skills and literacy to get a job and so on. So they aren't new just more highlighted in our age.

I think it is interesting that people like dyslexics share problems with social interaction and reading people just like ASD, but yet still many reject ASD and sitting within the SPLD family.

PasturesNew

studentphil wrote: »

You are correct there that there are many nice sides to ASD people that someone could like.

ASD is like Dyslexia and other SPLDs in that they are conditions of an highly advanced society (though advanced is open to question I accept.), for example, in the past it didn't matter if you didn't read or had great social skills, but in our society you need high social skills and literacy to get a job and so on.

I have high literacy skills.
Just 0 social skills. Well, more negative social skills. If I stayed quiet I could get by, but the minute it is necessary to speak ... it all goes tits up.

One of the AS behaviours is that of speaking "me me me", not in a prima donner way, but simply offloading your entire history of your entire life from beginning to end, in about 30 minutes. It's like the opposite of being hard to get to know: you get the lot

I always say far too much, give too much information. It's part of the spectrum where AS people are open and honest.

Ask a simple question: "Evil weather tonight, did you drive?" and you'd get the whole history of the car, the journey, finding the parking space, why I didn't get the bus, why a taxi was out of the question, how the car park needs to be altered, how the time was appropriate/inappropriate, how much turnaround time I had between getting home and having to go out again ... blah blah blah ... and on and on.



That is all to do with the part about not picking up on body language cues. You keep going because you don't know when to stop. You don't understand my turn/your turn. Can't make small talk ... so you keep talking... because you are trying to get all the detail in. Because the detail is important to AS people.

studentphil

PasturesNew wrote: »

I have high literacy skills.
Just 0 social skills. Well, more negative social skills. If I stayed quiet I could get by, but the minute it is necessary to speak ... it all goes tits up.

One of the AS behaviours is that of speaking "me me me", not in a prima donner way, but simply offloading your entire history of your entire life from beginning to end, in about 30 minutes. It's like the opposite of being hard to get to know: you get the lot

I always say far too much, give too much information. It's part of the spectrum where AS people are open and honest.

Ask a simple question: "Evil weather tonight, did you drive?" and you'd get the whole history of the car, the journey, finding the parking space, why I didn't get the bus, why a taxi was out of the question, how the car park needs to be altered, how the time was appropriate/inappropriate, how much turnaround time I had between getting home and having to go out again ... blah blah blah ... and on and on.



That is all to do with the part about not picking up on body language cues. You keep going because you don't know when to stop. You don't understand my turn/your turn. Can't make small talk ... so you keep talking... because you are trying to get all the detail in. Because the detail is important to AS people.

I don't see that is a hugely negative way to be, but I can see how it doesn't always help.

studentphil

If it makes you feel any better, I am useless at small talk ( I can make it at work as you can always talk work, but real social chit chat I can't do). I can read facial expressions well but I am poor at understanding general body language. I most certainly aren't ASD and I don't think you have to have a disorder to be poor socially.

chardonnay_2

does anyone have any experience of dealing with learning problems such as dyspraxia in scotland. it appears that the help in england is much better as your child can be statemented - such a thing doesn't seem to exist here?

Zara33

chardonnay wrote: »

does anyone have any experience of dealing with learning problems such as dyspraxia in scotland. it apperars that the help in england is much better as your child can be statemented - such a thing doesn't seem to exist here?

http://www.hdcd.org.uk/index.php

karmacookie

Hi Chardonnay

You are right children cannot have a statement of need in Scotland. We used to have Record of Need but this has now stopped. Now some children can have a co-ordinated support plan but few kids qualify. My son used to have a RoN, it was discontinued last year and he does not qualify for the new plan!?!

You could talk to your child's headteacher they may be able to help. I got lots of help from occupational therapy whenmy son was younger (he hasASD and dispraxia). also your local Princess Royal Trust for Carers centre can be a good source of information and support.

Snaggles

Hiya - my internet connection has been down since yesterday so I have a bit of catching up to do, but just wanted to say I have added a glossary of abbreviations to the first post. If anyone wants any others adding, just give me a shout.

lindens

My step mother is a bridge teacher (card game) and is a member of some clubs too. She says there are a higher percentage than usual of members with Aspergers, as to play bridge their brains are wired up just right and it makes them very good players.
She was part of a programme to introduce bridge to schools/clubs as it helps with maths, socialisation etc, and taught a game called mini-bridge to young children.
For those of you with children over 8 years I would say, it maybe something to consider teaching them or them joining a club.
HTH