Aspergers/ASD support thread

duchy

Welcome PN-and thank you.
I look forward to more of your observations. I'm sure you could help us all with a better understanding of AS and how the way of looking at the world is different.

PasturesNew

Strapped wrote: »

He also didn't quite grasp the "face the audience part"

That took me back some years. When I was in primary school there was some Xmas thing - and we all had to be on the stage. I was quite well hidden, but I didn't look up once.... to the disappointment of my parents as that was the only part they remarked on to everybody.

I was brought up hearing the words "it's a shame ... " as I consistently didn't behave as they wanted ... or, like my sister did.



I'd forgotten that event until now. Well, filed it away. I have 1000 such moments in my head.

Your kid is different, not wrong. It's not a shame they aren't like the other one.

PasturesNew

duchy wrote: »

Welcome PN-and thank you.
I look forward to more of your observations. I'm sure you could help us all with a better understanding of AS and how the way of looking at the world is different.

Well, having only now (late 40s) found out why I am different.... and having a high IQ, I have a lot inside me to come out. I know how I think; I know when; I know why. It's painful to type this stuff, but it's like a story that has to be told.

Mostly it seems to me posters are trained professionals or parents. But they've never lived the moments. Never had the thoughts. So I guess it's a unique insight to hear this from a fully functioning, independent (hopefully coherent), intelligent adult who is able to try to put it into words... although finding the words is difficult sometimes without lengthy explanations/examples.

I have always worked. Always supported myself. I've bought/run and sold my own houses alone. Run my own household unaided. Thus proving it isn't a disability that will hold a child back in that sense of the word.

I'm well above average intelligence, which apparently is why it is hard to spot because people like me are so far ahead of the others, it's been put down to "being bored", which I guess was true in that many lessons weren't moving fast enough. I wanted the teachers to get to the end/get to the point, so I knew what they were on about. Yet so often lessons were at the pace of the others.

Snaggles

Wow PN, thank you for your insights - funnily enough, I DO think I'm a bit (as my Mum says :rolleyes:) 'like that', and I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I think that is also why I relate to my son so much - because when he does something 'odd', I can almost sense the need in myself to do 'odd' things too. I have also realised recently that although I really CAN do sarcasm (oh yes, lol!!), I often misread sarcasm in other people and struggle with expressions I've never heard before. I can also become obsessive, and also feel 'the rage' when I'm in a large, noisy place and I can't filter out the things I need to listen to.

So perhaps I'm lurking on the periphery of the spectrum too.

I love the fact that you ARE so intelligent and coherent, and are making a success of your life (and more importantly, that you seem HAPPY with your life), it does show that being diagnosed isn't a disaster, and there's a place in the world for everyone, no matter what our quirks.

Edit - it's just occurred to me that I was always told how intelligent I was as a child, but often didn't enjoy school, which people also put down to me being bored. I'm also appallingly pedantic and have to literally bite my tongue not to correct people if they say something I feel isn't grammatically correct (although luckily my knowledge of grammar is fairly basic so it doesn't happen often!).

Snaggles

samf1971 wrote: »

Hi Snaggles i see you are in West Yorkshire , we are in Rothwell/Robin Hood

We're not far away, in South Leeds! :wave:

kit

Snaggles wrote: »

Wow PN, thank you for your insights - funnily enough, I DO think I'm a bit (as my Mum says :rolleyes:) 'like that', and I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I think that is also why I relate to my son so much - because when he does something 'odd', I can almost sense the need in myself to do 'odd' things too. I have also realised recently that although I really CAN do sarcasm (oh yes, lol!!), I often misread sarcasm in other people and struggle with expressions I've never heard before. I can also become obsessive, and also feel 'the rage' when I'm in a large, noisy place and I can't filter out the things I need to listen to.

I have been told by a friend who works with ASD & a previous counselor of mine that they think I would assess as on the spectrum. I feel as if I am two people in one due to coping skills I have built up over the years....... I dont really handle social situations well, small talk is soooooo hard, I hate noise where there shouldnt be noise (anything unexpected to me); it makes my head feel strange like a build up of pressure or something (so hard to explain), I tell things 'as it is' which I'm told comes across at rude! I bore people if I get on to a subject I enjoy. I get obsessed with hand washing and touching bins.
I could go on! However, I can understand the 'strange' sayings etc that people say and can do sarcasm but dont always pick up on others sarcasm and take things that are said the wrong way (usually taking things to be badly directed at me.)

I'm not sure if they are right or not. Would like to know for sure but doubt I ever will!

shazrobo

kit wrote: »

I have been told by a friend who works with ASD & a previous counselor of mine that they think I would assess as on the spectrum. I feel as if I am two people in one due to coping skills I have built up over the years....... I dont really handle social situations well, small talk is soooooo hard, I hate noise where there shouldnt be noise (anything unexpected to me); it makes my head feel strange like a build up of pressure or something (so hard to explain), I tell things 'as it is' which I'm told comes across at rude! I bore people if I get on to a subject I enjoy. I get obsessed with hand washing and touching bins.
I could go on! However, I can understand the 'strange' sayings etc that people say and can do sarcasm but dont always pick up on others sarcasm and take things that are said the wrong way (usually taking things to be badly directed at me.)

I'm not sure if they are right or not. Would like to know for sure but doubt I ever will!

kit reading your post, i thought i was reading about myself, the noise, especially where there shouldn't be any, causes a feeling of pressure in my head too, glad somebody understands and i'm not alone. i often take things the wrong way my ex bf said i took everything to be badly directed at me.
i too am obsessed with touching things and hand washing to the point of it causing me dermatitis on my hands.
they do say its hereditery, and i'm guessing their right, as i have twins like it also
shaz x

blue_monkey_2

Evening everyone - I should be in bed but hubby is out on a call so I can make the most of catching up!!

The party went OK, it was quite, not many other kids around until the end when i went in and found some little kid attacking Ryan, I turned and saw him pull his hair and then punch him. I am a bit possessive about my son and I shouted at the boy, of course, Ryan does not really 'fight' until other kids make the first move and then he thinks that it is OK to do that. And off they go.

have spend this afternoon trying to explain to my husband that Ryan and his train obbession is something he has to get used to, they have to be going to the right way, the track has to be set out the right way (LOL, we took pictures of it so we know how to do it again) and that he would have to get used to it. he sets it up for hours and then the trains just got around and around until I turn them off and he goes nuts over it. Whatever though, you just get on with it.

So, I'd like to ask a question if I could. how does everyone else deal with their kids lashing out or being too 'full on' with other children. Do you say something to the other children who are trying to push them away? I have problems with Ryan not realising his affections are unwanted or when they don;t want him to play with them and they are trying to get away he will just run after them thinking they are playing agame and still trying to join in until he gets a huge shove and then gets hurt in the process. I was wondering how everyone else dealt with these situations as I find it hard to find things to say to other kids. we went to our cousins last week and he hit one of the children and she them refused to play with him again. I always make him say sorry and give a hug but he still down not get that he cannot do it. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks guys. xx

A little PS: maybe Snaggles can add some of the abbrviations to the top of her post so we all have things to refer back to as I don't understand some of them being new to all this. i thought it might help us all. Thanks.

Snaggles

Just checking in before the madness that is the school run!

Will post more later, but yes, I will happily add some abbreviations to the first post - it sometimes confuses me a bit too because I'm fairly new to this too. It took me ages to work out what a SALT was, even though Ryan has one! (speech and language therapist)

I will add the ones I can think of, and please feel free to add suggestions for others.

Back later! xxx

duchy

Another "Me too" post.
As a child -and with hindsight I definitely had AS traits and as PN says was bright enough as I got older to work on stratagies to "fit in". I still hide them to this day. People think I'm very social and out going nowdays but I still struggle inside.
Wow ! That's probably the first time I've ever admitted that publically. Thanks to Snaggles, Kit and Shaz for prompting me.