Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

angie_baby wrote: »

Not rubbish at all.

Im just worried that if i home school he will go off the radar and not have any support getting him into a ASD school.

The head has said that he will either need to leave or be excluded at the next meeting. But she doesnt want to have a an exclusion on DS file.

My dad has said that when i give up work he will have him every Saturday afternoon so i get some me time as work is really my social time. And work does keep me sane. Its just a huge part of my life, my first ever job etc.

I know deep down DS would benifit from me being at home full time until everything settles. Its just i dont want to survive on benifits but i know im going to have too. The school agree (i think) that it would be best for DS until a suitable place comes up.

I know that im going to have to do it, (ive even been stocking up on craft stuff / internet downloads) Its just making that step and telling my boss - was going to today, but hes working from home

Sorry for the all over post

Just a thought, but can you ask to take a chunk of parental leave? It would be unpaid, and you might then decide to resign, but it means you haven't yet burned your boats.

I would also contact the LEA and ask what support you would get in this situation. They might feel that being excluded would actually help getting your DS into a special school, I don't know. Have a look for ReeRee's thread "I am so angry", she's had visits from the LEA (which you don't have to agree to!) which have been quite supportive and helpful. Her DGS is not 'on the spectrum' as far as I know, that was bullying, but the end result is the same: child at home, and for her it's working really well. That's secondary, mind you.

Because it's impossible for us to know if it's the best thing for your son to be at home, or the best thing for the school not to have to support him properly and not to have an exclusion on THEIR records, IYSWIM. It's possible that a different mainstream school WOULD manage these things better, but the starting point is whether they WANT to do so. And some schools frankly don't want to be bothered.

Three other suggestions: Parent Partnership, IPSEA, and Education Otherwise: all might help you work through the implications of this decision.

shazrobo

when one of my sons wasnt coping well in mainstream primary, instead of permanently excluding him, and it being on his record as well as theres, they did what was called a 'managed move'
basically to avoid an exclusion being on the records, school said they wouldnt be excluding him, but not allowing him back onto the premises, so another school had to be found
not sure this helps sorry

Savvy_Sue

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Just a thought, but can you ask to take a chunk of parental leave? It would be unpaid, and you might then decide to resign, but it means you haven't yet burned your boats.

OK, I've found the link for Parental Leave, and I'm not sure it will 'work' for angie's situation, but you could still investigate. The reasons I'm not sure it will help are:

1. the child has to be disabled - do you get DLA for him? If you do then he's not too old, which he would be if he's not disabled;
2. the maximum you can take at once is 4 weeks, but on the other hand that could be enough to establish that you can or can't cope with having him at home full-time.

It does depend on your employer, a really good one would understand if you took 4 weeks leave, and then resigned, and would hope you'd be able to come back if they had a suitable vacancy in the future. The big question is whether you'd be able to work your notice if you took that leave but then resigned, but you might be able to reduce that by taking any holidays you're entitled to.

It's not an easy decision, just thinking aloud ...

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Three other suggestions: Parent Partnership, IPSEA, and Education Otherwise: all might help you work through the implications of this decision.

And the links: Parent Partnership, IPSEA and Education Otherwise.

shazrobo wrote: »

when one of my sons wasnt coping well in mainstream primary, instead of permanently excluding him, and it being on his record as well as theres, they did what was called a 'managed move'
basically to avoid an exclusion being on the records, school said they wouldnt be excluding him, but not allowing him back onto the premises, so another school had to be found
not sure this helps sorry

Well, it clarifies for me that an exclusion affects the school as well as the child: no school wants to have too many permanent exclusions because parents then assume that the school is full of little 'orrors who don't know how to behave. Whereas in fact the school may be full of children with special educational needs which can't realistically be met within mainstream education, OR the school may just not want the bother of coping with such children.

Who knows?

wornoutmumoftwo

Does anyone have any tips for getting a 7 year old boy to go on the journey to school when they claim to absolutely hate it?
I don't drive and have lost my local bus service at the moment due to long term road works, so it's taxi (which I can't afford every day) or walking (which is a nightmare).

I have spoken to the school on numerous occasions, more so this week when i've taken him in kicking and screaming (usually at me). They say he's actually alright when he's in (he gets lots of support), which he confirms when he comes home.

He only goes to mainstream four mornings and all day friday, rest of the time he goes to a specialist school.

I don't know what to do, I'm working myself up into a tizzy, going home in tears after an hour of struggling to get him in - only to find out he's had a good day - and this all started up when his routine got broken with a four day holiday.

Thank you for any advice.

Savvy_Sue

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

Does anyone have any tips for getting a 7 year old boy to go on the journey to school when they claim to absolutely hate it?
I don't drive and have lost my local bus service at the moment due to long term road works, so it's taxi (which I can't afford every day) or walking (which is a nightmare).

I have spoken to the school on numerous occasions, more so this week when i've taken him in kicking and screaming (usually at me). They say he's actually alright when he's in (he gets lots of support), which he confirms when he comes home.

He only goes to mainstream four mornings and all day friday, rest of the time he goes to a specialist school.

I don't know what to do, I'm working myself up into a tizzy, going home in tears after an hour of struggling to get him in - only to find out he's had a good day - and this all started up when his routine got broken with a four day holiday.

Thank you for any advice.

How far is it? You talk about a bus ride, so I'm guessing it's more than a few hundred yards, but not as much as 2 miles or he would get school transport anyway?

I wonder if school transport is the thing to pursue. Talk to the school, because he has support there, so if not formally statemented then they might have to support a request for this.

Even if you live closer than 2 miles, school transport CAN be given to children with statements if there's no other way of getting the child there. It's sometimes a struggle to get it written into the statement (and if it's not written into the statement then it can be withdrawn), but if it's there, it has to be provided.

A sideways thought - does anyone else go the same route? Would going with someone else help?

wornoutmumoftwo

Thank you. There's only one person who drives but their son has problems and can't cope with my two in the car (did that a while back). Usually I'd walk to the bus stop as have a bus pass for the younger one and it's about a five minute walk so it isn't too bad.

This carry on started up after four days off (inservice/holdiay), he was fine before that. It's been going on for two weeks now and i'm getting to the point I don't want to take him in, but will as I won't let him think misbehaviour will get him a day off school. His younger brother is a dream and loves school.

We had all this in August when he went back after the school holidays and it took over two months to settle him.

I'm going to ring up the council now and see if I can get any advice, and the school doctor as I've asked for a second opinion on their 'he's autistic but we aren't labelling him now' statement, I think I'll ring the school too, though the teacher rang me a couple of days ago after a bad going in and said he was fine in class.



Update: Rang council about the taxi and their getting DS psychologist to give me a call back.
Doctor rang me back. The Autism assessment team are sending a referral to the scottish centre for second opinion diagnosis to be carried out.

joyciebird

Sorry to barge in on this thread but I am so relieved I had to tell somebody.

My DD is nearly 5 and we were told nearly 2 yrs ago that she was Autistic. It didnt really come as a shock to me because I read about ASD almost everyday ( I am a DLA Decision Maker).

But to cut a long story short, over the past couple of months there has been a decline in her behaviour and interaction, to the point where she was having to be restrained for her own safety. Another issue is bed time, she screams as soon as the word bed time is mentioned, its not a normal scream, its like she is petrified of something and the look on her face is pure fear. We have tried everything then last night I googled sleep problems in ASD children as a last resort, loads of info re colour changing lights appeared so I decided to try them.

I bought this colour changing sphere from argos http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4325444/Trail/searchtext%3ELASER.htm and I cannot believe what happened...she cried as normal going up the stairs then once in her room......nothing...she was amazed and is now fast asleep...

This is a massive breakthrough and I just wanted to share it with you

wornoutmumoftwo

Joyciebird - that's great news. Have you heard about the blue lense glasses? They test eyes for colours that agravate and the glasses are meant to filter them out.
I know someone who's boy improved greatly through them.

Mandles

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

Joyciebird - that's great news. Have you heard about the blue lense glasses? They test eyes for colours that agravate and the glasses are meant to filter them out.
I know someone who's boy improved greatly through them.

I remember seeing something on tv about this years ago before my lad was even born. It really helped the autistic children who tried them on. They found it hard to explain why but it really did. I could not remember this correctly but am always interested trying new things. So is it just blue lenses? I thought it was specific to the child. .Joyciebird, thank you very much for your story and help. May buy one of those myself.

Indie_Kid

Mandles wrote: »

I remember seeing something on tv about this years ago before my lad was even born. It really helped the autistic children who tried them on. They found it hard to explain why but it really did. I could not remember this correctly but am always interested trying new things. So is it just blue lenses? I thought it was specific to the child. .Joyciebird, thank you very much for your story and help. May buy one of those myself.

It's specific to the child. I don't wear the glasses; but have the coloured overlay. Any colour that isn't white is fine for me. Good thing too - my preferred colour is grey and college (when I was there) and uni would've needed to order that in just for me.