Aspergers/ASD support thread

Strapped

Makes you wonder what the other parents are really thinking though, doesn't it?

Indie_Kid

blue_monkey wrote: »

I saw that too strapped and walked away from the conversation, worse are the people that thanked them too. That poster said that children with ADHD and Autism should not be taught in mainstream schools and should go to special schools.

I really can't believe that - whilst some kids with ADHD & ADSs may need to go to special schools, (because of their additional needs) not every kid needs that.

sock-knitter

both my kids have adhd asd, and no other problems, but still go to special schools, as mainstream classes are too big these days and my sons could not cope. but if the children can cope in mainstream, then that is where they should be, after all, its mainstream society that they'll all join on leaving school.

Mics_chick

I'm still suffering from PND after DS's birth and my OH suffers from anxiety/depression too so sometimes we lose patience with him and end up shouting at him or even smacking him on occasion

I know it's quite normal to lose your temper with your kids sometimes even if you don't suffer from depression but I feel that we do it more than we would if we both didn't have short fuses when we're having a particularly bad day.

DS was referred to the community paediatrician by the school as his social skills & writing skills are way behind what would be expected for his age but he is classed as "talented and gifted" with his reading. His ability to concentrate and ability to follow instructions are an issue too.

We had 1 meeting with the paediatrician while DS was there a few weeks ago and then a follow-up today without him to discuss it further. She thinks he may have high-functioning autism (aka Asperger's) but wants him to see a consultant at our local hospital.

So his diagnosis is not certain but we do have problems disciplining him effectively and would like the help of anyone in a similar situation (if you want to pm instead of post that's fine ). Just any help anyone is able to give would be most gratefully received.

Cheers Gail

Savvy_Sue

All I'll say is that ignoring 'bad' behaviour and praising 'good' behaviour may not be the wonderful solution which HVs and schools tried to 'sell' to me when mine were young.

My eldest has mild Asperger's, and there were definitely times when he needed to be TOLD very firmly that what he was doing was unacceptable, not on, didn't happen in this house. And funnily enough, once he'd been 'told' clearly enough, it didn't usually happen again. So we do NOT hit our brothers, we do NOT break their Lego models, we do NOT keep saying we're going to leave home (because no-one else will have you!)

He didn't (and still doesn't) particularly like to be 'praised' for 'good' behaviour. None of mine do. Apparently I'm patronising if I thank them for speaking clearly to granddad.

Some children need to know what 'the rules' are. So if 'the rules' say that you get up and get dressed before breakfast, then that's what they do. But that's what has to happen: you can't suddenly try to give them breakfast in their pjs, at least not without saying "Because your breakfast sometimes goes down your clothes and then we have to change before school, we're going to eat breakfast in our pjs and then get dressed straight afterwards."

I do understand about being depressed and stressed, sometimes it was all just too much. If you want to give specific examples of behaviour you find difficult, we might have other suggestions ...

Mandles

cazscoob wrote: »

Do any of you have any experience or informtion on 'bear hug vest'. My son was trialed with one yesterday at the child development centre and they said they noticed a difference in his behaviour! they are trying it out tomorrow again and then possibly sending it home. I have googled but am not getting a lot back?
Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences though!
Thanks

It sounds like this belt on you tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwrAQlrTmKM . It keeps the sort of centered so that they can do activities easier by the looks of it.

And that other post about our kids taking up money in school is terrible. What goes around comes around though. I used to moan about my friends destructive child and my son is miles worse than he ever was so i think people should be careful what they moan about as you never know what is around the corner!

cazscoob

Mandles i eventually got a phonecall from the OCT, they are trialing it on him for another 2 weeks and all being well they will move onto a bodysuit. The development centre Charlie attends said they have noticed a big change in him! his attention span has dramatically increased from 20 seconds playin to 20 mins playing with a garage! this has never happend before and his sleeping has also improved!!! all positives so far!!

Savvy sue you are so right about the making sure they know what is what! Charlie has to be dressed before breakfast, he must also sit in the same chair and always at the table or he seems to get confused? We have a lot of behaviour issues and find that rules and structure work for him. when i give him praise he will sometimes smile but othertimes it will set him off?

As for the people saying Children should be taught separate are just going back to the dark ages! whatever next? some people need to grow up and experience the real world!

moemum

cazscoob wrote: »

Do any of you have any experience or informtion on 'bear hug vest'. My son was trialed with one yesterday at the child development centre and they said they noticed a difference in his behaviour! they are trying it out tomorrow again and then possibly sending it home. I have googled but am not getting a lot back?
Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences though!
Thanks

Hi,my daughter has a weighted blanket, think what you are describing may be similar? She loves it and when her 'legs feel funny' ( her words) which is usually very quickly followed my a meltdown, she puts it over her lower body and it really does seem to calm her down!! Bedtime is when she needs it most though, she lies under it (not as wide as a quilt, more the width of a sleeping bag) and kind of chills, hard to know why or how it works for her ..but it does!!:)

cazscoob

can i ask where you got the blanket from? the vest Charlie has isnt weighted its just tight? the bodysuit is also the same? its made of the same material that the pregnancy belts are made of it that helps???

SingleSue

The way I modified the behaviour was to do a set of rules which had to be repeated before we left the house, on the way to the destination, once we arrived and then any time when behaviour was threatened.

Sounds horrendous but it gave them clear rules on what was acceptable and being backed up all the time with reminders...they knew the behaviour expected of them before we got there so no surprises and no confusion.

Ex hubby didn't believe it would work when he had them for his wedding and scoffed at the laminated lists I did but he tried it his way (no reinforcing of what was expected and just expecting them to cope) and then tried it my way......my way worked and his failed miserably.