Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

angie_baby wrote: »

It will give me time to sort my DS's problems out. Im hopng to get him ready for main stream secondary school.

I would just warn you that you may never completely 'sort his problems out'. I don't want to be pessimistic, and I don't doubt that it may help enormously, but you may find that as fast as one 'problem' improves, so another develops. Also you may 'sort out' his problems at primary school to find a whole new bunch arrive with the transfer to secondary school - they're generally bigger, noisier and more confusing places with less 'tolerance' of 'difference' from both staff and pupils.

However having the time to devote to getting the best outcome for him can only be a good thing! Best of luck!

rainbow81

angie_baby wrote: »

Hi All,

Has anyone had to give up full time work to care for the child due to there ASD? Im a single mum, so would have to claim benifits.

Im really thinkin of giving up work for the next 2 years to get him sorted. It would also give me time to study too.

Anyone ever had the same? Any any ideas how i would go about it. I did post on the benifits board ages ago when i was first thinking about it and they rekoned idbe entitled too carers allowance. Or should i just go and see my local CAB centre?

Thanks,

Angie

Hi Angie

Yes I have tried to go back to work so many times but since my DS has been in school I have found it impossible.

I am a single mum and it is just us 2. If your child gets mid or high rate DLA I think you can get CA.

I believe you can ask for a carer's assessment from Social Services, I don't know what it entails but I may ask for one for support for when I go back to work.

Good luck.

angie_baby

I know

Its either going to become managable or even harder. And this is the only thing i havent tried. And to be honest im not even haf way to understanding ASD, ODD, ADHD at all.
Also DS hasnt been in full time school, so i can teach him as much as possible at home, until somewhere suitable comes up.

Its going to be a struggle, but at least i wont have the stress of full time work.

And i can always rant on here

angie_baby

rainbow81 wrote: »

Hi Angie

Yes I have tried to go back to work so many times but since my DS has been in school I have found it impossible.

I am a single mum and it is just us 2. If your child gets mid or high rate DLA I think you can get CA.

I believe you can ask for a carer's assessment from Social Services, I don't know what it entails but I may ask for one for support for when I go back to work.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I just handle the stress of working and then not being there for DS when he needs me. I really hope i can go back to work in a couple of years.

I spent most of the day checking if we woul be ok, and i think we will. I wont have to spend so much on travel, childcare (which is huge) and i will be time rich. Hes been at the childminders 7-6 every mon to fri for the last 7 years (minus a few hols) and i am so looking forward to spending some real time with him. I really cant wait!

Mandles

angie_baby wrote: »

Thank you mandles.

Today i made the choice.

I am going to become a SAHM for the next two years. It will give me time to sort my DS's problems out. Im hopng to get him ready for main stream secondary school. I needed to do this ages ago. So as of the 1st of May i will be here for him

Good. I hope your decision goes well. I am not a single mum so i don't know exactly the financial stuff for your circumstances .

Who knows, it may even give your lad more stability at home at this important time. It is a shame that the secondry schools are so big as i hear a lot of problems for ASD kids at these ages. Something that i am holding in mind is that in our area some kids can go to college instead of school once a week to learn praactical skills for jobs. This is in the last couple of years of school and i know that it has been a real godsend for some that struggle with school so maybe ask about that at options time. I know it is early days but it just goes so quick!

Wishing you and him all the best.

shazrobo

i am a single mum with twins who are adhd, odd asd, conduct disorder etc, , and i manage on benefits, if your son get middle/high rate dla, then you'll be able to claim carers too.
always wanted to home tutor my sons, but the two of them dont get on so well, so would have been too difficult, both are at different special schools now they in secondary, and have had a choice of leaving for college, or stay at school, both chosen to stay at school, as its familiar, and smaller. both have a couple days a week, where they do practical work experiance

Indie_Kid

Mandles wrote: »

It is a shame that the secondry schools are so big as i hear a lot of problems for ASD kids at these ages.

My brother had this problem. When he was integrated back into primary school, he coped fine. (he went to a school for kids with behaviour problems up until his last year)

angie_baby

Hi All,

Had a meeting on Friday with the school. They think that him going is affecting him mentaly and want to stop it. There is still an 18 month waiting list for a ASD school and we are still waiting on a statement.

I know leaving work is the right thing, or i hope it is. Otherwise DS will be learning nothing at all.

I know the answer i think, but do you guys think im doing the right thing?

Sorry! Its just i need to give notice soon, and im dithering.

Thanks

Mandles

angie_baby wrote: »

Hi All,

Had a meeting on Friday with the school. They think that him going is affecting him mentaly and want to stop it. There is still an 18 month waiting list for a ASD school and we are still waiting on a statement.

I know leaving work is the right thing, or i hope it is. Otherwise DS will be learning nothing at all.

I know the answer i think, but do you guys think im doing the right thing?

Sorry! Its just i need to give notice soon, and im dithering.

Thanks

TBH no one can answer that question but you really as it is hard to say without actually really seeing the child and the actual situation.

All i can say is that i am at home with mine (much younger than yours and only doing 2 hrs school a day) and i do not regret it. My OH said that he is pleased that he works as even though it is hard work, it is a break from my lad as it is mentally draining to be with him all the time. I need to get away from it all quite often at the moment and am currently going away for a weekend a month to keep me sane and able to cope with him!

So work may be keeping you strong too but on the other hand you at home may provide more stability for him and give him the special care he needs.

Other people like schools often seem to do what is best for them so take on board what they say but in the end you really know what is best.

Sorry for my rubbish answer!:o

angie_baby

Not rubbish at all.

Im just worried that if i home school he will go off the radar and not have any support getting him into a ASD school.

The head has said that he will either need to leave or be excluded at the next meeting. But she doesnt want to have a an exclusion on DS file.

My dad has said that when i give up work he will have him every Saturday afternoon so i get some me time as work is really my social time. And work does keep me sane. Its just a huge part of my life, my first ever job etc.

I know deep down DS would benifit from me being at home full time until everything settles. Its just i dont want to survive on benifits but i know im going to have too. The school agree (i think) that it would be best for DS until a suitable place comes up.

I know that im going to have to do it, (ive even been stocking up on craft stuff / internet downloads) Its just making that step and telling my boss - was going to today, but hes working from home

Sorry for the all over post