Aspergers/ASD support thread

Bitsy_Beans

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

:rotfl: your DS sounds VERY like mine at that age! Although he was never much of a one for racing around. Are they saying autism, or Asperger Syndrome? Which is on the spectrum, but the 'milder' side. If Asperger's, Tony Atwood's book is the one to get! And books by Kathy Hooper for your DS.

They said he had ASD, never mentioned Asperger's. thanks for the book recommendations - will have a look into Kathy Hooper.

miss_independent

Hi,

I was wondering if any of you could help me. I teach in a theatre school and I have taught many children over the past 7 years with autism, ADD, and many other special needs. I recently took over a class from another performing arts teacher who left on bad terms and there is a 10 year old boy in my class with Aspergers, he is lovely, very well behaved, not really disruptive at all, just very intelligent and a little obsessional and pedantic lol. He is a big boy, quite overweight and very mature for his age, like a little old man. Everything has been going fine, as the class is small and like I said he is very well behaved. I don't see his parents pick him up or drop him off and I do not have a contact number as the theatre school's secretary dealt with his admission before I was working there.

Anyway, in his last class he started complaining half way through that his trousers were getting tight. As I have said, he is a big boy, a little overweight and he was wearing jeans that he must have started to outgrow (and he should have been wearing loose clothing anyway for theatre school). I told him this must be because he was growing up and as you grow you need to buy clothes in a bigger size, as he had got very sensitive just prior to this and told me completely out of the blue that "Miss, I do eat a healthy meal. I eat healthy. But I'm heavy." when no comment had been made about food or weight. For the rest of the class, he started saying his trousers were getting tighter and tighter and they were hurting him, he kept saying "Ow, they are hurting me, its getting worse, they are getting tighter!". It was like some sort of a panic attack in a way. I did actually think he was going to take his trousers off a couple of times!

He asked to go to the toilet which was just in the next room. After a few seconds in the toilet he started groaning in pain, shouting and screaming out :eek:. I felt in a bit of an awkward situation as there was no male teacher or member of staff and whilst I am used to the very little children needing help when they nip to the loo, I am not used to having to deal with this with a boy of 10 and I was concerned at first that this was some sort of emergency. Also I had a young class to attend to but I set them a task and stood at the door, knocked and asked if he was ok. He ignored me, went quiet (though I could hear him moving around) and I went back next door to check on the other children. He started shouting out again, it stopped abruptly then he came back into the class room and acted as if nothing happened. Just said "Miss can I have some of my pop?" (he had been sent with a bottle of coke) and carried on as if he was fine. I had been so worried, I was ready to break down the door and call an ambulance and I went from that to just being baffled!

As I have no contact with his parents at present, I thought perhaps I should send a note home with him next weekend asking his parents if they wouldn't mind calling me for a little chat - I would of course reassure them that he is a pleasure to teach but introduce myself as the new teacher and ask if there is anything I need to know about his needs. I would also have to broach the subject of what had happened and tbh I'm a little embarassed about how to broach it because tbh, I've racked my brains and all I can think is that he may have been badly constipated? I once had a similar situation with a little 5 year old who was crying at the toilet and I managed get her to stop and tell me that she "had a poo stuck!" - sorry if that is tmi but just explaining why I had arrived at that conclusion! Have any of you got any advice as to how you would want this dealt with if it was your child? Also, the trouser thing may be linked but from this thread it seems that children with asperger's seem to be fussy about clothes at times?

I am quite frustrated that, as this is not a normal school but a weekend performing arts school, we don't get any training with children with SEN. I have to say, I have never had a problem I couldn't deal with before but usually I get to meet the parents first and they tell me what to expect. On this occasion, I felt out of my depth and the Head thought I should just ignore the whole thing. Should I? My gut tells me no! TIA

shazrobo

do the parents pick up the kids, i would imagine they do at that age, could you not say something when they collect him.
as a parent of two sons on the spectrum i would want to know that my child had been in what sound like, quiet severe pain, also i would want to meet the teacher myself anyway to fill them in on any information the teacher may need.

wornoutmumoftwo

Can I join you?
My son was offically diagnosed as having ASD this week. We'd suspected it (and it had been mentioned as a possibility at his last assessment). I've got the weepy stuff out of the way and am actually glad to have a diagnosis but I think my H is struggling with this. He's not interested in seeing any parent support groups or reading any books (he doesn't see any benefit because all the kids are different so someone elses perspective won't match our sons). He's tying himself in knots worrying about whether DS is going to get worse etc. I don't want to push him too much but what's the best way I can support him - is it just to keep talking and leave him to come to terms with it? Our son isn't a severe case (but it's a been a week of quite challenging behaviour for some reason - plus there are sleeping issues going on too) but my H is the sort of person that likes numbers, things to be quantified. He'd really like someone to say "OK your son is around here on the spectrum" but I am not sure anyone will give him that response.

Your OH sounds like my OH. My son was noticed for having problems at 3. By 4 the edu/psychologist suggested he might be on the spectrum and we were in denial for two years. Anyway, we accept he's different - but OH still believes he'll catch up and is worried about bullying at school.

I go to all the parenting classes, actually asked and asked at my nursery for a support group as when my son was assessed I was living 400 miles away and didn't have a shoulder to cry on (still don't but I can cope now). So, now I help run the parenting class at nursery and the support group, and when I'm at home I basically say to OH we're trying this technique and he will follow my lead. I also follow advice from his special school so we're all singing off the same hymn sheet.

The best one for my son (7) is choices. The either/or - works wonders.

I think it takes a while to adjust to the news. Support groups aren't for everyone (maybe it's a man thing - my OH thinks it's all a load of nonsence but will follow my example if I'm trying a new technique).

wornoutmumoftwo

miss_independant I don't think you have to play on the needs (although it would be nice), but I think you should have every child's contact details in the case of an emergency, if only to cover your own back.

My boys go to pace and there is a section regarding additional information where I notified them son had low attention span/asd so they were prepared.

miss_independent

shazrobo wrote: »

do the parents pick up the kids, i would imagine they do at that age, could you not say something when they collect him.
as a parent of two sons on the spectrum i would want to know that my child had been in what sound like, quiet severe pain, also i would want to meet the teacher myself anyway to fill them in on any information the teacher may need.

Thankyou, last week an Uncle collected him. TBH, I would have thought the parents would have wanted to speak to me too. All I can think is that they do not know he has a new teacher but, as far as I know, all parents were contacted when the other teacher was asked to leave - perhaps they slipped through the net. I think if they aren't going to drop him off/pick him up then I am going to have to find some way of contacting them. He arrives late a good 10/15 mins into the lesson and is picked up later too and by that time i'm teaching another group of children. The secretary makes sure children are collected so I'm going to give her a ring tomorrow to put my mind at ease and see if she has any kind of relationship with the parents so I can let them know about the distress he was in.

miss_independent

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

miss_independant I don't think you have to play on the needs (although it would be nice), but I think you should have every child's contact details in the case of an emergency, if only to cover your own back.

My boys go to pace and there is a section regarding additional information where I notified them son had low attention span/asd so they were prepared.

Thank you, when its up to me I always ensure I have a contact number for emergencies but at this particular school the secretary deals with the registration forms and for whatever reason she doesn't have this one and because I took over at short notice from another teacher I have had no opportunity to meet the parents to get the number. Its really frustrating tbh, I'm a worrier but the heads of the school aren't! All I got told about this boy by the school was "well, you'll see for yourself, he's clearly not right. He has some sort of learning problem." Which I thought was a pretty awful, ignorant thing to say. Also, he just looks like a normal, healthy 10 year old boy to me!

I think maybe you are right about not mentioning his Aspergers. Perhaps if I say I was just a bit concerned as I heard the noises and he sounded distressed. Then perhaps they will raise his other needs with me.

Mandles

blue_monkey wrote: »

Mandles, my son has picked up some awful stuff from the 'normal' kids in his class, plus they do horrible stuff to him too. There is a lot of physcological bullying going on in his class too - none of which the teacher sees of course. If your son needs closer attention maybe give it some thought as he will not get bullied and there will be more teachers to help out. Swings and roundabouts. What awful things do you think he is going to pick up?

it is a hard descision but remember not all the other kids are going to be showing him the good stuff they do, the awful ones certainly know how to manipulate our kids for their own entertainment. :mad:

That is very true and something i will think about. I know he copies a close relative who has severe autism and copies the hand flapping and things she says. This is the sort of thing i don't want him picking up totally which i know he would if he was with just a class with some like that all the time at school.

I know the "normal" kids can be mean and also teach bad things but i desperately want him to learn normal interaction with others if possible. I get so sad when i see him line up with his class, he is so different sometimes and i don't want him to be even more different if possible.

I expect i may feel very differently if/when the bullying starts.

Mandles

I was just wondering if there is a link. Do many of your children get migranes?
Migrane can be headache or stomach ache , vomiting or just nausea, sensitivity to light and sound. often they need to sleep. They are usually fine the next day.

After thinking my lad was just a vomiter i have just twigged that he is having migranes. I read that there may be a link so wondered if that was true and if many of your children on here had migranes.

shazrobo

one of my sons often complains of headaches and feeling sick, and needing to lie down in a quiet dark room, other son has no headaches etc