Aspergers/ASD support thread

shazrobo

blue_monkey wrote: »

shaz - no, I was wishing it was the 4th on the first day of them being off.

You know, I treated myself to Rock Band for the Wii and I just love thrashing the hell out of the drums. If the kids are fighting I will go in the next room and put it on. I am already on Medium level and I only got it last week, ha ha. Soon I'll be a pro. It is a great way of relieving the stress for me.

What the bloody hell does the nurse suggest they will do on their 16th birthday out of interest?? Did you ask?

Have you tried speaking to someone at Connexions (I think it is what it is called) as they may be able to help with some mentors for the boys. Someone from our ADHD group went to see them and got it for her son. Be sure to ask for the person who deals with the kids with special needs. Just a thought.

hi blue monkey, the rock band for the wii, sounds fun, might have to treat myself to one. the nurse thinks at 16 i'm going to make them homeless, then the authority will place them in hostel for homeless, that way i get some peace and calm. if only it was that easy, i love my sons dearly, despite the things they have done, and no way could i throw them out on to the streets. i have spoken to connexions, but they werent very helpful, but i shall try again in the new year. to be honest they said they were there to help the transition from school to college or work placements, at 14 they are still in school.
shaz x

shazrobo

mandles, we have locks on all the bedroom doors now, and one for the big cupboard in the bathroom, where we keep cleaning products, and spare toiletries. a pain in the bum when you go upstairs and realise you've forgotten the key, but well worth it for peace of mind.

covlass, we dont have a challenging behaviours team where we are, i wish we did. our useless social worker is based with the children and families team, and her comments are, kids are clean and well fed, and obviously loved, what more could they ask.

shaz x

Wickedkitten

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes, they have, haven't thay? :T
The thing about my son is that he is well aware of what he finds difficult, but although he is almost thirty he is never too proud to ask advice about these things from other people when necessary, and then act upon the advice. He has always been this way(well atleast since he was grown up) and it has really helped him to cope with his condition.

As well as the stuff about the bank, he learned several years ago that he has to allow himself two hours to properly get ready for work, whereas others could do it in twenty minutes, and he also knows that if he has to go anywhere he's not been before he WILL get lost, and therefore allows a couple of hours for that too.

I hope the things I've written act as an encouragement for others with younger Aspie children. Quite often they DO learn to cope as they get older.

Can I ask you, has he actually been properly diagnosed?

rainbow81

Oh Mandles I feel for you. I have felt like I was going to be accused of that munchausen by proxy thing as I was always taking my little one to doctors and hospitals etc. A paediatrician will assess your child's development and have a chat with you about whatever problems you feel he has that are affecting home or school life. They then refer on to other people who can help!

Merry Christmas.

NoahsPennilessMummy

Hi all
Not been on here for ages, just wanted to wish you all a merry xmas and hope you have all survived it all without too much grief and hassleto you all.
Over recent years I feel like Xmas has ceased to be something to enjoy and it something to just have to get through if you know what I mean.
DS gets so stressed at the change of routine and you cant really do much of what you want around Xmas in this house.
He was diagnosed with ADHD this year to add to his AS diagnosis from 4 years ago. He is only 6 but has huge tantrums and is so strong!!! Takes 2 of us to hold him down to stop him hurting himself and us.
Other people really do not have a clue how much it impacts on your life. The holidays are hard as it is when he is at school that I get a break:rolleyes::o....I love him more than the world but at times it is so exhausting:o
We are very lucky to have a group of people on here to support and advise each other and I just wanted to wish you all merry xmas and all the best for 2010

seven-day-weekend

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Can I ask you, has he actually been properly diagnosed?

No, because Asperger's was not known about as a condition when he was young, but we (and his teachers) always knew there was something amiss. He was sent to an Ed Psych when he was about seven who said he was 'a square peg in a round hole' .

About five years ago, two people, quite independently, asked me if he had Asperger's; when I checked it out he ticked most of the boxes, especially when he was little. It was like having our eyes opened for the first time.

My husband and I had a word with our son about it and showed him information; he too thought he ticked the boxes, but chose not to be formally diagnosed as he did not see any point. He just said 'thank goodness for that, I thought there was something really wrong with me'.

So no, he has not been formally diagnosed, he has learned to deal with his condition better as he has got older.

His girlfriend was formally dagnosed by an Ed Psych at Uni.

Wickedkitten

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

No, because Asperger's was not known about as a condition when he was young, but we (and his teachers) always knew there was something amiss. He was sent to an Ed Psych when he was about seven who said he was 'a square peg in a round hole' .

About five years ago, two people, quite independently, asked me if he had Asperger's; when I checked it out he ticked most of the boxes, especially when he was little. It was like having our eyes opened for the first time.

My husband and I had a word with our son about it and showed him information; he too thought he ticked the boxes, but chose not to be formally diagnosed as he did not see any point. He just said 'thank goodness for that, I thought there was something really wrong with me'.

So no, he has not been formally diagnosed, he has learned to deal with his condition better as he has got older.

His girlfriend was formally dagnosed by an Ed Psych at Uni.

The reason why I'm asking is because a couple of years ago my partner's mum decided after looking at the symptoms on google and reading a bunch of websites that he has Aspergers and started giving him information about it, books about it, telling all of her friends that he has it and since she's in Education herself, he started believing that he has it.

We have a friend that we have known for two years who is actually a clinical psychologist and was worked with people that have autistic spectrum disorders for over 10 years who actually started laughing at me when I first told her that until she realised that I was being serious.

Despite his mother swearing up and down for 4 years now that she knows he has it, once she was told that he in fact doesn't have it, she has done a complete volte-face and has never once apologised for what she did.

I'm not saying that you are doing the same thing, but definitely make sure it isn't confirmation bias that is leading you to believe that he does have it.

seven-day-weekend

Yes thanks, I am aware of this danger, but he himself had also confirmed that he thinks he has this disorder. I personally would have liked him to be formally diagnosed but he is an adult so it is up to him.

Why do you ask anyway? Does he not sound 'typical?'

Savvy_Sue

DS1 was never formally diagnosed as a child: school doctor had a chat with me just before we moved to another county, and then wrote me a letter saying that he appeared to show aspects of Asperger's which could need further investigation.

We saw the school doctor soon after we moved, but agreed that as he didn't seem to need extra help there wasn't a lot of point (and possibly quite a lot of stress I didn't need!) seeking a formal diagnosis. We lived quite happily with that for several years, saw the school doctor again when we needed extra time for exams.

After a year at University they wanted to get him a mentor because there were some things he was struggling with, and to pay for that he needed a formal diagnosis. That appears to be that he has 'fragments of Asperger Syndrome'.

He's gone down the road of self-employment atm, which neatly sidesteps whether or not to tell employers. It makes him a very good employee in many ways, and actually I'm wondering how long he can keep himself self-motivated! Interestingly he keeps on top of the work he gets from a friend, and completely fails to do the work he could do off his own bat.

blue_monkey_2

Wickedkitten wrote: »

The reason why I'm asking is because a couple of years ago my partner's mum decided after looking at the symptoms on google and reading a bunch of websites that he has Aspergers and started giving him information about it, books about it, telling all of her friends that he has it and since she's in Education herself, he started believing that he has it.

We have a friend that we have known for two years who is actually a clinical psychologist and was worked with people that have autistic spectrum disorders for over 10 years who actually started laughing at me when I first told her that until she realised that I was being serious.

Despite his mother swearing up and down for 4 years now that she knows he has it, once she was told that he in fact doesn't have it, she has done a complete volte-face and has never once apologised for what she did.

I'm not saying that you are doing the same thing, but definitely make sure it isn't confirmation bias that is leading you to believe that he does have it.

What is the point of this bloody-mided post??

My sister has it, any fool can see that, but she has no 'diagnosis' as they did not dignose 20+ years ago as SDW as pointed out. Back then it was 'learning difficulties' or something like that. My aunt was stuck in a 'special school' as she was 'not quite right'. I am pretty sure I have it too. Only as an adult you learn to deal with how you are and try to fit into normal life.

I've been busy trying to get through Xmas - Shaz, going to dig out some info for you regarding where you might be able to get help re your sons (I have a whole load of lit from our ADHD support group) but could not ignore this pointless post.

You have a 'friend' who is a clinical psych working with ASD kids/people and they laughed about someone who thought they might have had it but had not been for assessment??? Bloody hell, maybe they need to get a new job. NO WONDER we have so many problems in getting a proper diagnosis if they are laughing about someone maybe having AS when they have not even assessed them. Mine is fully experienced too but gave my son and ADHD disgnosis so did not want to give him an Autism diagnosis as they 'thought' it looked like he had ADHD last time they saw him but told us in a letter recently that he probably has autism, but actually she didn't tell us this.

As parent WE know our kids have this condition, only getting to see the doctors to get that 'magic' piece of paper that enables you to access the services they require is an absolute nightmare - I hope that my doc is not your 'friend' or god help us.