Aspergers/ASD support thread

starnight_2

I think it's great and it is something they should be proud of also.

seven-day-weekend

edgex wrote: »

thats good news
shows as well that theyve handled it all a lot better than many other 'normal' people would have

Yes, they have, haven't thay? :T
The thing about my son is that he is well aware of what he finds difficult, but although he is almost thirty he is never too proud to ask advice about these things from other people when necessary, and then act upon the advice. He has always been this way(well atleast since he was grown up) and it has really helped him to cope with his condition.

As well as the stuff about the bank, he learned several years ago that he has to allow himself two hours to properly get ready for work, whereas others could do it in twenty minutes, and he also knows that if he has to go anywhere he's not been before he WILL get lost, and therefore allows a couple of hours for that too.

I hope the things I've written act as an encouragement for others with younger Aspie children. Quite often they DO learn to cope as they get older.

edgex

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes, they have, haven't thay? :T
The thing about my son is that he is well aware of what he finds difficult, but although he is almost thirty he is never too proud to ask advice about these things from other people when necessary, and then act upon the advice. He has always been this way(well atleast since he was grown up) and it has really helped him to cope with his condition.

As well as the stuff about the bank, he learned several years ago that he has to allow himself two hours to properly get ready for work, whereas others could do it in twenty minutes, and he also knows that if he has to go anywhere he's not been before he WILL get lost, and therefore allows a couple of hours for that too.

I hope the things I've written act as an encouragement for others with younger Aspie children. Quite often they DO learn to cope as they get older.

trick i have with that is to look at a map before getting there, & even looking on googlemaps & bingmaps to actually see what the place looks like

seven-day-weekend

He can read a map, but then finds that to him it bears no relationship to what is on the ground. He has to get a 'map in his head' as he puts it.

He had to go to Birmingham to a particular place every day for a week. Every day he had to ask directions (bearing in mind he can't remember a great big huge long list, so has to do them in small chunks, and ask several people along the route). At the end of the week he had got the 'map in his head' and could have found his way there. But then he never had to go there again!

I asked him this year (several years after the event) if he could find his way there now, he said no, he would have to get the 'map in his head' again.

Mandles

Excuse me , i am having a bit of an overload and just need to vent and i am worried.
My DS is really doing my head in and i am really starting to worry that i could get him taken away. It is one thing after another lately , for example in just one week he had a suspected overdose when he got up in a cupboard over 6ft high(he is 5!) and possibly took some tablets . I say possibly as he does not communicate well .I freaked and made him sick by putting my finger down his throat a lot which gave him a sort of meningitus rash all over his face from the strain! It is just about going. He now has just eaten some silica gel which was hidden inside a lid of something. I couldnt face casualty again as he runs around madly and the people swearing and shouting there was pretty frightning(and i heard there is a 17 hour wait!!! due to ice & injuries). So i rung NHS .

His playgroup wrote down his facial spots from the broken bloodvessels and i had to sign something. I am really getting worried now. We are always in casualty or the drs with him with accidents and things he has done and his horrendous croup that he always gets . I am starting to get worried that we are getting flagged as "possibly abusive parents" or that i may have that mauchasen?? syndrome thing(which i definately do not).

Anyone else been in the same boat and what would you do. I was even debating putting cameras in my house to film these things but this seems a bit extreme and very costly.

I know we all go through periods like this. I won't but i really feel like just running away at the moment.

blue_monkey_2

Mandles, I know exactly how you feel because we have to put everything away. We do not leave anything out, all the tablets are hidden (we have this too), my son cannot get anything, put padlocks on the doors with dsangerous things in if you have to. I have nothing that can get broken, people come to my house and get plastic beakers if they want a drink. Sad but true. Sick and tired of things getting broken and dropped.

Are you under the paediatrician with your DS? If not then you need to speak to your doctor about getting him referred. Sod if they think you have munchausens but if your son has eaten something he shouldn't then you should get it checked out. Kids usually get seen first so do not worry about a wait, especially if it is suspected poisoning.

At the end of the day, if you are keeping things a secret then no-one will ever know he has a problem and you need help to deal with it.

I feel like you do every day, worse now we have a dog and the kids are off during school holidays. I feel like a night out but do not even have anyone to look after the kids. Sometimes it just feels a bit too much, the only break I get is when they are at school and we do not have any family who get it.

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Everyone has weeks like this even people who have kids who do not have additional needs, you just have to live and learn for the future and put it down to experience - make sure nothing is within reach or is locked away and anything that is broken stored away in the loft for when he has left home Good luck.

shazrobo

hi mandles, i know exactly how you are feeling, i was the same, especially as i have two sons with the same problems, we did eventually get a social worker investigating, but nothing came of it, they saw what my sons were like, and they were refered to cahms.
as blue monkey says try and get an appointment with paediatrician, who may be able to help.

my turn to rant now lol., its my birthday, and just for once i expected both kids to be nice just for one day:o, been threatened again, screamed at, had property broken, my parents who are elderly have been threatened, am i a bad parent wishing it would be 4th january already?
the stress is really affecting my health again, and the only help i got from my pychiatric nurse, was to be told, dont worry they'll soon be 16, and no longer your responsibility i couldnt just kick them out on there 16th, they wouldnt have a clue on how to live alone

blue_monkey_2

shaz - no, I was wishing it was the 4th on the first day of them being off.

You know, I treated myself to Rock Band for the Wii and I just love thrashing the hell out of the drums. If the kids are fighting I will go in the next room and put it on. I am already on Medium level and I only got it last week, ha ha. Soon I'll be a pro. It is a great way of relieving the stress for me.

What the bloody hell does the nurse suggest they will do on their 16th birthday out of interest?? Did you ask?

Have you tried speaking to someone at Connexions (I think it is what it is called) as they may be able to help with some mentors for the boys. Someone from our ADHD group went to see them and got it for her son. Be sure to ask for the person who deals with the kids with special needs. Just a thought.

covlass

Mandles, if you ever feel you need to go to A&E then go, if you explain your position they should be able to find somewhere more suitable for you to wait. I had to take my daughter to A&E last year we have a separate one for children but it was packed with children crying and screaming. Our DD has sensory needs and I could see she was about to go into melt down just beasue of the noise. I explained her needs and they let us wait in a cordor which linked to 2 A&E's then thankfully after seeing that there was a 5hrs wait we were seen within 15 mins.

Shaz could you not ask your nurse about speaking to challenging behavior team? I know this may sound horrid, but in the end that's what they did for my daughter and I am so grateful that they did. I have a team of people now who give me ideas and are setting up some one to one sessions with a play buddy who will take my daughter out to do some activities and give me a little break as school holidays can be a nightmare. The school should have Connexsions in place my daughter attends a SLD school and they have them there also try contact a family.
How i wish for a night out just a couple of hours but like you no one to look after the kids.

Thankfully i'm ok at the moment my DD is on a high as father Christmas is coming !!!! my weapon a snowman who goes and tells santa everything and does not like naughty girls. However she isnt sleeping very well so no idea what time we will be awake in the morning.

I wish all you ladies a Merry Christmas! Remember you are all special parents keep strong

Mandles

blue_monkey wrote: »

Mandles, I know exactly how you feel because we have to put everything away. We do not leave anything out, all the tablets are hidden (we have this too), my son cannot get anything, put padlocks on the doors with dsangerous things in if you have to. I have nothing that can get broken, people come to my house and get plastic beakers if they want a drink. Sad but true. Sick and tired of things getting broken and dropped.

Are you under the paediatrician with your DS? If not then you need to speak to your doctor about getting him referred. Sod if they think you have munchausens but if your son has eaten something he shouldn't then you should get it checked out. Kids usually get seen first so do not worry about a wait, especially if it is suspected poisoning.

At the end of the day, if you are keeping things a secret then no-one will ever know he has a problem and you need help to deal with it.

I feel like you do every day, worse now we have a dog and the kids are off during school holidays. I feel like a night out but do not even have anyone to look after the kids. Sometimes it just feels a bit too much, the only break I get is when they are at school and we do not have any family who get it.

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Everyone has weeks like this even people who have kids who do not have additional needs, you just have to live and learn for the future and put it down to experience - make sure nothing is within reach or is locked away and anything that is broken stored away in the loft for when he has left home Good luck.

I do not think he has been referred to the paediatrician (i am unsure as he has had referrals about his croup but i think they were more just for his airways). Also i met so many different people since having him that i am at the point that i dont know who half of them were anymore..probably different therapists.

So what do i need to say to the paediatrician? Sounds daft but will they refer me as he is just taking pills whenever he gets the chance? What specifically do i need to bring out?

I sound crazy but in a&e they have a kids room but often (stupid comment but...) it is full of very ill looking kids and my son has gone in with an injury before and on a couple of occasions been incredibly ill 5 days after , which then gives him acute croup and we have another new hell to deal with. So that is why i avoid that room. I did take him before and even though he had a possible drug overdose i thought it was shocking that he was only seen in 3 hours.

I have bought some wooden boxes and locks but my OH is taking ages putting the locks on them for me but says he will today.I think i will get one for every room.