Aspergers/ASD support thread

mousytrap

I had hoped that we would have a diagnosis to impart at this stage as a result of this morning's meeting.

Reality is that they view him as borderline and want to do some further observations before deciding whether or not to diagnose. They will do some discreet in-school observing and talk to the schools, which they admit they have not done as yet. Talking to the schools will be done properly as they don't feel they get the best out of the answers to tick-box questionnaires.

What they have been able to tell us is that he scored very highly in the cognitive and speech and language tests.

He has apparently passed 2 of the 3 tests for diagnosis so he may well get one after the further observations and school input. The visit to the school will hopefully be in January when they're not all hyped up in Christmas mode. They need to see his in a typical class and will probably observe for most of a morning.

They want to make sure they don't give the wrong label and need to determine whether his "difficulties" are merely due to frustration at being so bright (or not).

At this stage they say both Aspergers and ADHD diagnoses are still possible.

mousy

Indie_Kid

angie_baby wrote: »

Also, does anyone have any idea on DLA for ASD?

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=1561

starnight_2

Have had rough week or so of it. Phoned the psychs the referral went to and could still be another two months til they see him. I understand they base who they see off priority and the paediatricians letters, but when I'm getting kicked, headbutted, punched and bit (all which happened today) I feel it's too long. Really don't know wether to hone the paediatrician again as she has said there isn't much she can do!!

*sighs* have to admit today has been especially hard, feel like crying, is there much point me phoning? We see OT tomorrow that's in the same building. Or the behaviour therapist? (who has basically said we can phone her whenever).

Sorry for the rable but wondering, if in my situation, would you phone? I'm thinking it's just me maybe needing to talk to someone and get reassurance, just lost with what to do. I thought I was handling his reactions better and predicting his temperment more, but this past couple weeks I just seem to be getting it wrong.

Indie_Kid

From what you've said, I would phone up.

angie_baby

Hi all,

Wondering if anyone can help,

DS has been sent home everyday he has been at school since the ASD was confirmed. His behavour has got worse at school. We are waiting on a statement, which is being prepared. But ive been warned that it may take 26 weeks to get it.

What can i do to help my DS. School is just not working for him at the moment, hes fine going until he gets there, and then by lunchtime, more often 10.30 he is sent home after a huge trantum, damaging stuff, hitting TA's.

I just really dont know where to go or who to ask for help, do i just wait for the statement or is there something i can do?

Sarahsaver

Hi angie baby there is no requirement for any child to have a statement BEFORE the school has to meet their needs;) My son has an IEP and he has simple basic targets on it which are sensible, whereas his last school could not see they were both part of the problem AND potentially part of the solution.
You do have the right to part time schooling if you request it from the local authority.
On this page is a sheet of hints for teachers, you have to scroll down a bit;) I emailed the link to my sons teacher and said look THIS is what he needs. (you could print it out for them if you think they need it physically in front of them) http://www.aspergerfoundation.org.uk/info_children.htm
Also the school can not legally just send your child home, this counts as an exclusion and they are NOT within their rights to call you up and demand you fetch him. they need to be reminded of that and that managing his behaviour in school is their responsibility.
if he is anything like my son then sxhool may be a vary challenging confusing and frustrating environment full of people whose motives he does not understand, and being at home is a much better option. Best of luck.

seven-day-weekend

Well. I'd like to tell the forum why I am so proud of my son and his girlfriend (both with AS).

Long story short, J*** was charged over £100 bank charges. She does owe money to the bank, but had got it arranged as a loan and paying it back at £20 a month. When she started work she upped it to £40 a month. Then these bank charges happened and the letter said it was because she had 'not kept the agrement' so the loan became an unnoficial overdraft.

My son rang us, very angry, asking if I knew why the bank were doing this when she had paid more than required, and if there was anything they could do. Bear in mind that anything like this is like high finance to my son; he gets anxious and stressed and finds it very difficult to understand . They both do.

Anyway, we advised them to go to the bank with all the evidence of her payments, show that she had paid MORE than they asked for and ask calmly and politely for an explanation. We said to KEEP asking until they understood.

Anyway, I'm glad to say that they went into the bank together, my son did the talking, as J*** finds it even more difficult than he does. The bank said she was supposed to have the situation reviewed in November and didn't, so the loan had become an unofficial overdraft and hence the charges. B** explained that she had paid more than required and showed them the evidence, explained that she had difficulty understanding these things and asked for the charges to be refunded and the arrangenment to be put back in place.

Anyway, the advisor was kind and helpful, said she could se that J*** had kept on paying (and more than required), accepted that she had difficulties and re-made the arrangement and cancelled most of the charges.

I'm so pleased. They have handled this really well. B** for going in and talking about it (a major difficulty for him) and J*** to be conscienctious enough to repay more than was asked for. I'm glad too that they handled it together.

They now know when the next review is (I have written it down too) and will sort it out well in advance.

They've both learned something today. (And a minor lesson too, to ask for help with letters from the bank that you don't understand, not just throw them to one side!).:)

Savvy_Sue

It may also be worth explaining to your son and his g/f that when you have an agreement, it's sometimes a good idea just to keep to what's agreed and not try to pay extra.

For example, if you get into rent arrears and there's a threat of court action, you can reach agreement with your landlord to pay it off at £10 per month extra. Now you'd think that if you paid £20 one month you could skip the next, but no, the best thing is to keep strictly to the terms of the agreement and pay £10 per month. If you've got a spare £10 one month, the best thing is to squirrel it away somewhere ready for the month when you DON'T have it!

seven-day-weekend

Yes, thanks Savvy Sue, they now understand that if they want to make ANY change to anything to do with the bank they have to negotiate with the bank first. In fact when I was on the phone to my son, he turned round to J*** and told her exactly that.

It has been so good for him, especially - last time he had to deal with the bank (not as complicated as this), only two years ago, I had to go with him and he sat looking white-faced and stricken whilst I dealt with the enquiry on his behalf. He's come a long way. J*** too has learned how to deal with a situation that before she would just ignore because she didn't understand it.

I'm so proud of both of them.

(Edited to add: My husband was livid about the situation and if the bank had not refunded the charges and been sympathetic he said he would have been on the next flight to Birmingham airport, banged the desk really hard at the bank and told them that he would go to the press and told them how they had treated a poor young girl with ASD disabilities. He would have done too!).

edgex

thats good news
shows as well that theyve handled it all a lot better than many other 'normal' people would have