Am I being unreasonable charging partner a token rent?

Kynthia

People overreact regarding beneficial interest and it's not as easy as people make out, particularly where there was clearly no intention to share the property financially in any way. So I have no problem charging token rent rather than just half of bills.

However you are now mortgage free but want your partner to pay more than you in living costs. That doesn't feel right. That seems like you are trying to profit from your partner instead of live as a couple. They are not your lodger they are supposed to be soone you love and want to live with.

I'm a logical person and don't think being in love means you need to not protect yourself or make silly decisions about money. Token rent before made sense as they shouldn't have paid equal to you when your payments were gaining you equity, but living for free and having lots more disposable income than you didn't seem right either. However paying more than you do now while you pocket some of their money doesn't feel like a relationship.

*Cherry*

In my opinion, now that you have paid off your mortgage, you have just bills to pay. Bills that are the same whether you live there on your own or with your partner (give or take a bit of extra water / electric etc).

You get no less benefit from your house with her living there whether she pays or not.

If she contributes 50% of the bills / food, you are still better off than if she wasn’t living with you.

Yes she is considerably better off by not having to pay market rent, but if she hadn’t been living with you, she possibly would have had a mortgage of her own and some security for the future.

As long as you are careful around the beneficial interest area and remain unmarried – you still get all of the benefit of your hard work and financial planning and no risk.

If you dig your heels in about expecting her to pay you “rent” over and above her share of actual costs for the rest of your future together, that future could be very short lived!

onwards&upwards

This doesn’t like anything resembling the definition of partnership.

I think you should go to counselling to get over what happened with your ex wife.

If I was your partner i’d be thinking of leaving, not for financial reasons at all but because of how the financial issue has revealed how you really feel and how you view her.

You’re viewing the rent issue as though you are in a business relationship, she pays you and in return you provide ‘lodgings’.

Imagine that she decided to put another aspect of your relationship on a commercial footing and started charging you the local going rate for sexual services?

Housing and sex can both be a business arrangement between strangers, in a truly loving partnership, they shouldn’t be.

Mojisola

Les79 wrote: »

Also, there is no harm in you justifying it with something like; "well, seeing as I typically pay for holidays I thought the contribution could help go towards that instead". I think that's perfectly reasonable (and avoids the mortgage issue which others have pointed out), but would she?

In that case, why not set up a savings account for holidays and fun stuff and jointly contribute to it?

mattvolatile

Your attitude is really quite toxic, honestly. Why do you want to profit from your partner? She was contributing to a cost; that cost has now ended. If you'd like to start a repair/upkeep/upgrade pot, it might be reasonable for you both to put the same amount in going forward, but I sense that's not exactly what you had in mind...

If this was Reddit, I'd be saying: YTA.

theoretica

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

But it DOES cost me to live here? It cost me the best part of of £400k!

For me, a question is what would your finances and living arrangements look like if you were single. Would you have a lodger? Did you when you were single? If no, then what is having a second person in the house costing you?

Cat_Loving_Lady

I have to say if I had no mortgage it would be 50/50 split bills/cost of living there. Seems wrong she should pay more.

onwards&upwards

Les79 wrote: »

Yea, sure! Good idea, get her to put the £200 into a joint savings account (and maybe OP match the £200 too) and use that pot to offset some of the costs for the holidays!

Perfectly reasonable in my opinion, and a valid reason to keep the £200 extra payments per month going.

If she see's her !!!! over that then it is a red flag pure and simple.

It should be a discussion and a joint decision though, he can’t just decide what happens to her money on his own and she has to go along with it! Partnership remember, not dictatorship!

System

I think he's trolling us

AndyPix

My personal opinion is that she should just pay half of the total monthly bills.


But I think I would want assurances that she wasn't going to feel entitled to half of the house if that were the case


If she wanted to see it as 'her house too' then I think it only right that she would pay into it by way contributing to the massive pot of equity that you have created


If she is happy that she has no claim on the house then it would be out of order to ask her to pay you 'rent'