Am I being unreasonable charging partner a token rent?

happyandcontented

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

But it DOES cost me to live here? It cost me the best part of of £400k!

I don't get why anyone would expect free lodgings?

I will add that my friends attitude to money was very selfish (like yours) /QUOTE]
I'm not entirely selfish with it. I buy her gifts and holidays and give that freely with no expectations of anything similar in return. I just wish to protect certain things, like my home and pension as that's my gunship financial independence.





Which is one of the reasons we never went full 50/50 on the total costs. She pays less to me than she did when she shared a house with three others, and the difference is saved into her own account.


Seems the consensus is that I should fully remortgage, ask for 50% deposit and split everything 50/50. I suppose I sold give her half the savings interest too in that case?!

So is she, in your mind ( simply) a 'lodger'?

Mojisola

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

But it DOES cost me to live here? It cost me the best part of of £400k!

"Cost" as in the past. Now the mortgage is paid off, it isn't costing you anything.

Seems the consensus is that I should fully remortgage, ask for 50% deposit and split everything 50/50. I suppose I sold give her half the savings interest too in that case?!

Now you're just being silly - no-one is suggesting anything like that.

If you want to remortgage and pay interest just so that you can make her also pay towards the mortgage, go ahead.

System

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

I just wish to protect certain things, like my home and pension as that's my gunship financial independence.

Totally understand wanting to protect your assets, however by charging her money towards the mortgage, you've undone all the protection you think you gained. By the by, it's done now. You charged her, she's now entitled to some back if/when you split.

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

Seems the consensus is that I should fully remortgage, ask for 50% deposit and split everything 50/50. I suppose I sold give her half the savings interest too in that case?!

Yes. If you want to fully protect your assets, you go into a house sale together, each with the same deposit or an agreement drawn up by a solicitor to say how much each is contributing in the event of a split. It doesn't have to be this house, you could buy another, but still, she's paid your mortgage so she's entitled. Or of course, you don't charge her rent..............

need_an_answer

Do you do separate shopping,cooking ,cleaning ,laundry...and any other household chore independently?

or do you live in domestic bliss sharing.....

The answer to that might give us an insight into what you both expect from this partnership ...as clearly you both have very different views.

Although at the moment I'm saying whilst its your house,she would almost certainly have a claim over it if you were to part...a good solicitor could see to that.

OneHalfMortgageFree

So say I didn't pay the mortgage off and kept £400k in savings. I'd be fine to ask her to pay £200 more than her share of the bills, which I could put toward the £1700 mortgage, whilst earning saying same again (less tax) in savings interest.

Would you folks think that was also unreasonable? I thought I was actually being generous there, and by charging her less than she was paying to live in a house share she's been able to build up a small fund.

In my eyes, all I've done is save tax by offsetting mortgage interest against savings interest.


And to answer an earlier question, she does treat the place as her own and buys things for it. I'd expect her to either take them with her if she left or sell them to me. Hadn't really thought about it that much, but I wouldn't see her out of pocket there (but I would defend any claim on the house).

happyandcontented

You asked a question and it has been answered.

If you choose to enter into a new relationship to make it work you have to try to let go of baggage and move forward, or the past will inevitably taint the future.

OneHalfMortgageFree

"Cost" as in the past. Now the mortgage is paid off, it isn't costing you anything.

What about the opportunity cost of not being able to invest? Or the lifestyle cost of sacrificing pleasure time in order to scrimp and save? Cost covered in many forms...

Totally understand wanting to protect your assets, however by charging her money towards the mortgage, you've undone all the protection you think you gained. By the by, it's done now. You charged her, she's now entitled to some back if/when you split.

So best thing (financially speaking) is to refund the £200 for each month we've lived together and ask her to move out, and pay it all to someone else?

I'm being flippant of course, and I would understand the points being made if I was trying to charge market value, but I genuinely didn't think I was being unreasonable here.

Anyways, that's why I posted to double check and it seems most folk agree with her, so looks like I'll need to cut my pension by £4k a year...


....or get a lodger ��

gettingtheresometime

happyandcontented wrote: »

If you choose to enter into a new relationship to make it work you have to try to let go of baggage and move forward, or the past will inevitably taint the future.

You'd be wise to follow this advice.

Personally the way you're handling things, it's coming across as she nothing more than a lodger with benefits & that the relationship will be nothing more than a self fulfilling prophecy.

swingaloo

You mention the word 'partner' in your thread title.

I would hate to have a 'partner' who viewed me in this way.

OneHalfMortgageFree

I should clarify that we're both seeing this as a bit of a joke, an argument over the principle rather than anything else.

It's only £200 a month and we said we'd do whatever folk thought was reasonable. Her friends agreed with her, mine with me but it looks like she wins given the views on the folks here.

I still don't think I'm being unreasonable, but happy to accept the will of the people!