Am I being unreasonable charging partner a token rent?

Honeylife

happyandcontented wrote: »

Lodgers pay rent..........not partners and lovers.

If I were her I would be running for the hills. This is purely a business transaction for you.

OP In an effort to "protect" yourself you have been unable to actually break free from looking at this relationship as anything other than business!

My second husband and I (he lost his first house to his ex. I got the house from my ex) started fresh in a home together and shared everything. Both of our exs did the same.

Its not just the mortgage its the contribution to the upkeep of the household ie of the curtains, the carpet, the furniture and so much more that is invested in the property. She has contributed to the property and will likely continue to do so. I don't know how long you have lived together but you really should get a co-habitation agreement drawn up, or simply as others have suggest, buy a place together where she can contribute towards the deposit and have some definite security.

If you genuinely care about your partner you would want to see her in comfortable situation not writing about diddling her because you are still carrying baggage from a previous relationship.

Lots of advice here but I think you are simply looking for someone to agree with you. It is your lady that needs the advice about cohabiting with you.

need_an_answer

hazyjo wrote: »

Not if they're a couple. Not classed as 'lodgers' by any stretch of the imagination, even if he charges a 'rent' payment.

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Its an interesting one Hazy...and to be honest it could be seen as a grey area.

Reading the link on who needs to have a CP12 does actually indicate that an adult child who contributes to the household could be deemed as an acceptable person.
I would never have even considered getting a CP12 for our family home even though as you know I'm hot on them for my rentals...I don't take money from the offspring either when they're home but it does raise the question that if the OP is insistent on his term of "rent" then in turn the partner could be insistent on being treated as a lodger with all things official.

I'm not even unconvinced that the OP could even be viewing their partner as domestic staff.(which would also require a CP12)
Whichever way its hardly a healthy relationship in terms of most peoples thinking.

Jo3y83

Your tone is awful here...your partner is not a lodger. You need to refrain from using words like "rent" or "lodgings"....can you see how that might make her feel. Personally, I'd feel extremely insecure and used.

thorsoak

OneHalfMortgageFree wrote: »

No you're right.

What an animal I am for asking for a 10% payment towards her lodgings when of course she should only ever have to pay 50% of the bills; no more, no less. I mean, who pays rent anyway?

I shall also of course ask for 50% of all interest/dividends she receives from her savings and investments, given she only had those monies given she hasn't had to spend anything* on somewhere to live

*£200 a month adjusted, of course.....

Out of interest, have you shown your "partner" this thread? I'd be interested in her responses!

Were I her, with the way you speak about her, I would be planning on finding my own place and giving you the old heave-ho! It's not all about the money, it is also about how you think about your partner - and you two obviously think money more important.

need_an_answer

This forum and thread was a 2 day wonder for the OP...I don't expect they will post again...

kangoora

Something doesn't add up, quite apart from the OP making Ebenezer Scrooge look like a philanthropist.

You are saying you no longer pay a mortgage but if she doesn't cough up £200/month you'll have to reduce your pension contributions. Was your mortgage less than £200 or do you want all the spare money from your (now) non-existent mortgage to go to your pension whilst you gouge her for £200.

Household bills split 50/50 is fine but even that should be proportionate to income. If one takes home £3k/month and the other £2k/month then, to my mind, bills should be split 67%/33%.

2k/month rent - you're having a laugh. Maybe that for the full house but she isn't, in effect, renting a full house so you should be basing your estimates on room rental in a shared house (£75/week?).

Regardless of the last paragraph, if you insist on charging rent to a partner then there's pretty much no hope for you. If I was her I'd start charging you for sex at £400/month as soon as she starts paying rent.

beverley1471

I don’t know if the poster is genuine. But i’m still amazed that so many people think it’s acceptable for a woman to demand she lives rent and bill free, I would not accept this from my partner, I would rather be single. If she wants a equal partnership, how is her being a kept woman, keeping all of her earnings to herself equal? I would at least demand she buys all of the food from now on.

My bills are just over £400 but I do have some optional extras, so this could be reduced if I ever needed it.

LilElvis

beverley1471 wrote: »

I don’t know if the poster is genuine. But i’m still amazed that so many people think it’s acceptable for a woman to demand she lives rent and bill free, I would not accept this from my partner, I would rather be single. If she wants a equal partnership, how is her being a kept woman, keeping all of her earnings to herself equal? I would at least demand she buys all of the food from now on.

My bills are just over £400 but I do have some optional extras, so this could be reduced if I ever needed it.

Perhaps you should re-read the thread. The OPs partner has always paid her share of the household bills - in fact she has been paying an additional £200 per month whilst gaining no interest in the property.

unholyangel

If this were truly about making it fair, the suggestion most fitting imo would be for her to buy 50% of the property.

Then they both contributed to it equally, they both benefit from it equally and they're both liable for its maintenance equally.

Really, a relationship is whatever you want it to be. We all have ideas on whats right and how things should be based on how we have/want them. But whats right for us isn't necessarily right for you and vice versa. As long as you two can agree then what anyone else thinks really doesn't matter.

Some couples keep finances 50/50, some split based on earnings, some split who pays what, some don't even live together (even married couples). There is no "one size fits all".

sevenhills

kangoora wrote: »

Regardless of the last paragraph, if you insist on charging rent to a partner then there's pretty much no hope for you. If I was her I'd start charging you for sex at £400/month as soon as she starts paying rent.

Where the OP went wrong, was that he called it a 'token rent'. Every house owner has expenses, not just utilities.