Debt, debt and more debt.

Queen_of_the_Hive

@[Deleted User] - honestly take it all at the pace you feel comfortable at. You have every right to feel cautious but give it time and see how it flows. Remember that recent advice you gave me about not worrying about things you don't need to. I am pleased its going well and just enjoy the present. 

Love the sounds of the outfit by the way! You are rocking it! 

Primrose

Emma. Your children are obviously both at the age where their own worlds are expanding and who knows where this will affect their reactions on how you live your own life.  I think you,re wise to try and keep these various aspects of your life apart, at least at this stage.  .  If the relationship fizzles out you will have protected them from unnecessary angst and if with time it grows stronger, when your children do eventually get to know about it they will hopefully have had time to broaden their own lives a little.

I can imagine though that if he really starts to make you happy they might notice a difference in you and start to wonder what has caused the change.  At some point you may have to be prepared to "come clean" or that could possibly start to make them feel insecure again.  At some point you might have to be prepared to ask the question "would you like to meet him?"  And perhaps be prepared for an answer you weren,t expecting. .  I don,t know what their relationship with yourEx is like but I guess at their age their views may still be skewed by their personal experiences to date. 

Primrose

I think the video of your pupil reading a book must have been so rewarding.  Just goes to show you haven't lost your teaching touch and hopefully that young lad will grow up and have so much more confidence and pleasure from his life as a result.

AntoMac

I agree with Primrose. What a wonderful thing to have had a positive influence on that boy’s life after everyone else gave up on him. Achievements like that are priceless, and how nice of his Mum to send you the video. 

You should feel really proud of yourself. Not just for this but for the way you’ve kept fighting and moving forwards. 

Primrose

I think the "self care" is really important Emma.   You can't care for others if you're not in a good state yourself.   Remember the old airline safety warning, "Pull down your own oxygen mask and put it on first".   
 
Our bodies are complicated machines so it's hardly surprising they occasionally play up.. In fact given just how complex they are it's a miracle really that day after day they continue to function at all considering some of the stresses and violations they're subjected to !

CRANKY40

I had the day off from housework etc yesterday (usual Friday routine) and went out instead. It really does cheer you up and makes you feel so much better. What I missed when my late husband was working away was never having a "plus one" for invites and family occasions. It sounds like your doctor friend may also be a bit too busy for a normal (not in Covid times) kind of social life too so I think that you're being very sensible. 

Primrose

Emma. Sounds like your new friend is having problems keeping on top of everything.  Perhaps his former marriage only survived because his wife took care of everything domestic and non medical and because everything domestic takes him so long he,s never really developed those skills to a high level.

i,ve no doubt that even in his work busyness he's lonely sometimes but perhaps some occasional companionship to fill the gap is all he,s seeking and can emotionally cope with.  Perhaps better if you can establish your  mutual needs early on and be honest about them. Good friendships without romance are also worth having when both parties can be  honest about boundaries.

it was good of you to buy the homeless man a meal.. This world needs more kindness.

janb5

I`d give it a chance Emma...very early days yet and maybe it has legs.  Sometimes things don't move as quickly as we`d like but this still could develop....Slow burners are good too and guess what - passion is often overrated.

Suffolk_lass

He might have realised he was coming across a bit keen and reined it in a bit. These things can take a time to develop (if they do) and you are not in any hurry yourself. A bit of pleasant conversation and some company with someone you could ultimately keep a bit distant or walk away from sounds ideal to me. Rather than looking at the baggage he carries (and we all do) you could just treat it as a new friendship. I think the romance bit is the least of it. He is pleasant and makes you feel good about yourself. Enjoy that feeling - it is streets ahead of wondering what your ex is doing or worrying about your parents. Your kindness deserves kindness back

AntoMac

Well that is pretty much exactly how I see it @Suffolk_lass , almost word for word!

He’s treating you with respect Emma and has admitted to finding life a bit hard at times rather than pretending everything’s ok. Maybe in time, sharing a few problems might be mutually beneficial? It’s usually good to talk about things. Crikey, the number of people’s hardships I’ve heard about just over the weekend. I guess It’s good that they feel that I’m someone they can share with but boy there are a lot of people out there who on the surface seem ok but are really struggling.
And keep the kindness going whenever you can. Sometimes even the smallest act can make a massive difference to someone.