Debt, debt and more debt.

janb5

I`ve learned the hard way that sometimes nothing seems to sell and there is a just a hiatus.  Ride it out...iot wilol get better.

How about a Covid managed garage sale-  would that work?

Jox

Great to hear so many positive stories Emma, very inspirational, love that the ring came off

If anyone is in a relationship with an addicted person this youtube channel has helped me, it's called "Love Over Addiction" and I've listened to that a lot, it's got me through dark times.

Also if you want to hear from the point of view of the addicted person there is "Joe and Charlie Big Book Study", also on youtube

Can't really advise how to make money but I have an Scottish mortgage Investment Trust ISA with Hargreaves Landsdown (there's other brokers), and it's done quite well over the past year, I save £100 a month there, but it's not a quick money making scheme.

Has anyone read "The Magic", by the author of the Secret, I found value in that book

Primrose

I do recommend equity fund ISAs for long term saving as you can't easily raid them but I think  Emma's more urgent goal is to reduce and eliminate her debts first.  She's made a noteworthy dent in them  and I'm sure will be quietly cracking on with this.  Large debts can feel overwhelming but she's  being very determined , as well as inventive in her money making approaches. I think with all these  long term goals it,s just a case of keeping focussed and remembering that every payment gets you a little closer to your goal.

enthusiasticsaver

Lots of very positive posts recently which is great to read. Obviously you are feeling healthier and that often does translate to happier or it does with me.  Having more energy just makes a difference I think and your dates with the new man recently sound lovely.  I would sell those rings and put towards the debt as the other negative thing from  your past. 

triple_choc_chip

[Deleted User] said:

I think that acceptance is underrated. I love the below message. 
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

I prefer the longer version:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept 
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill today
because they p****d me off. 😉

AntoMac

I can match every stroppy teenage daughter rant that you get with one from my own teenage Bundle of joy Emma. I too have found that humour is a great way of making peace, as trying to reason or even argue with her is futile. At times I too feel like completely blowing my top so I can very much relate.
Only tip I can give for clearing debt is what has worked for me. Lots and lots of very small payments off the credit cards using online Banking. They do eventually add up significantly. I still have the best part of 7 grand to clear though, unfortunately it’s a long game.
You’re doing so much better now. Keep going, and cry if YOU want to. I think crying is really good for us, and would never discourage anyone from shedding a few tears.

AntoMac

Your last but one paragraph Emma “I don’t see what the attraction is with me long term”

Bit harsh on yourself isn’t it? Great is the mystery of attraction. He may see good qualities in you that you don’t see yourself. Who’s to say he’s not saying to himself “Wow, how is a woman like this single?”  You believe in being kind so maybe try and be a little kinder to yourself.  You enjoy each other’s company and conversation which is a good thing. At this moment in time it seems to be going nicely and we’re only ever in the present moment, so hopefully your positivity from the motivational videos can kick the self doubt down the road. Wasn’t meant as any kind of criticism, just some well intentioned if perhaps clumsy advice from someone with no expertise in that field 

The book writing seems to have gone a bit quiet by the way…. Just saying 

Primrose

Having a sole surgery is indeed a massive responsibility.  Not only are there patients to see, the bureaucratic administration will be massive and I suppose one of the first questions you have to ask yourself is:  "if this relationship ever becomes serious, will I always be able to accept that his work and vocation will always be his number one priority."  This would mean that things which are very important to you might endlessly have to be sacrificed..  these situations invariably lead to dissention, disharmony and resentment. 

There  comes a point in most relationships where they move beyond the casual and it takes a huge amount of honesty and self awareness to face the reality that reaching this point brings.  Enjoy the journey Emma but as you,ve mentioned, be prepared to face getting off the train if it isn,t leading to the right destination.

Primrose

Emma. I think you're being very level headed in the way you,re approaching this,  I suspect so many marriages fail because the realities of day to day existence simply don,t match original expectations and some careers, if performed to the high standard needed, are in reality simply too demanding to combine successfully with a domestic family life. The medical/surgical field is one of them sadly.    

The advantage of "second time around" is that at least the reality of the rose tinted glasses  has disappeared so you can both proceed with the benefits of that experience behind you.  Relatonships come in lots of different forms so I guess being open minded is the best way to proceed.     

I imagine that if it goes on long enough, the reactions of your respective children will also start to be an influencing factor too. .

Queen_of_the_Hive

Primrose I couldn't agree more with what you've said. Second time around definitely puts a different perspective on it. Experience this myself 🙂