Debt, debt and more debt.

AntoMac

Emma,
Please don’t allow your Mum to continue to behave like this. You’re a good and decent person. If you do nothing she will continue to do it. It’s unbelievably rude when you have been good enough to put her up.There’s no excuse for her behaviour, however “stressed” she clams to be. If you don’t make it clear to her that it’s not acceptable it won’t stop.
I would also suggest sitting your kids down and just telling them how their behaviour towards you makes you feel, and remind them how much you have done for them.
You deserve better. You are not anyone’s doormat or punchbag. 

dawnybabes

Another one adding the same, your parents are way out of line and your children too.  They will be learning it fr8m them. 

Humdinger1

Emma

Totally agree with earlier comments re establishing boundaries.   This is unbelievably out of order. It's bad for you and the children,  as it's setting the most appalling example.  Please get your mother out of there as she's abusing you and your kindness. You don't have to be a doormat to be a good daughter and still less mother.  Your children will think that this is how you should be treated unless you draw a line and the problems will rumble on for years.  We're all here rooting for you and we are all impressed by how you've got out of one abusive situation; please don't replace it with another.  Love Humdinger x 

enthusiasticsaver

If you are not careful your DD is going to see that this sort of behaviour coming from your mum and previously your ex is ok.  It is not acceptable.  I don't get why they are treating your house as if it is theirs? I think I would be asking them to leave. 

Primrose

I see the bedroom redecorating and the wardrobe addition actually being used as a weapon against you rather than an act of spontaneous kindness on the part of your parents in these particular circumstances as your mother knows its likely to inflame passions and get your impressionable  daughter siding with them rather than you.

Really Emma, despite it being a hard thing to do I think it would be very beneficial for your own family harmony to get your parents out of your house as quickly as possible and have a period of distance between them until your own family routines and equilibrium can be re-established and restored.  A captain really has to be seen in charge of his own ship otherwise there,s always a danger of mutiny and sadly you're now experiencing this with bells on.
This may seem a drastic measure but longer term I suspect if your mother sees you exercising your authority  in this way she may be less tempted to wind you up again in future. She may rant and rage but she will have "clocked" where boundaries exist when it comes to the way she treats you  and you will have exercised your authority with your own children too.
It will hard having to do this without the support of a partner to back you up but having done so it may give you a new sense of confidence that you can exert a certain amount ot of control over your own destiny rather than allowing everybody else to pull you in all directions from the one who screams the loudest.   People who have screaming fits to get their own way don't know how to deal with people who quietly but determinedly just set their own path and get on with it. 

Sarahwithlove

Is there a particular reason why they are living with you? I think I read they are having some work done? Is there any date as to when they will be moving out? I know you say sitting down and chatting won't help but I think you need to before you get in more fights and damage your relationship beyond repair. Let everyone get their grievances out and find a way to move forward with it. Your mum needs to realise its your home and you are doing them a favour by allowing them to stay with you. That it's your home not hers and that your DD needs to know that she can't always get what she wants because as soon as they leave its you that has to deal with the fall out of saying no. That whilst your appreciate them paying for the paint and wardrobe etc that you need consulting as it's your home and that you should be involved in decisions regarding your DD. If you don't want to talk to her about it maybe write it down in a letter for her. She needs to know how she is making your feel. 

Jox

Sounds really difficult, I know the feeling of living with 3 generations and a manipulative gas lighting family member, distance is definitely better. 

Four_Seasons

Hope everything is ok. thinking of you x

Chrystal

Have you given any thought to just phoning your sister and telling her she'll have to have them back, and then telling them you've done so, and to pack their bags as they are going, and you don't mean next week!
Your mother is abusing you, and your father is as bad, by being her accomplice in the things she does.
You really don't have to put up with this.  Doing so will make your children see you as a doormat.
I really hope you can find the strength to do what needs to be done.  You've done it once with EX so you know that you can do it and survive.  Sending you (((hugs))) 

Sarahwithlove

I'm glad things have somewhat improved. It's important you stand up for yourself. 
That's good news about the settlement. Might be worth giving them a ring and seeing if there's a time limit on the offer.