New Life Pending.....

Iwantanewlife

Moguline wrote: »

I think it's normal to get jealous from time to time. I'm jealous of you for having had your LBM at a time where you can still sort your debt out reasonably quickly - it's a really long slog for me, and I haven't got anything to show for my debts, or anyone to blame but myself.
But the thing is, we can only do better if we know better. No matter the mistakes we've made in the past, if we make changes now, our lives will be infinitely better in the future than if we hadn't.

You are so right, and i think you are doing amazingly well, so lets cheers to us and all the other debt busting MSE'rs because lets be honest, its hard work!! :beer:

[Deleted User]

That rent is crazy! I live in the North West and we pay £750 rent a month for a 4 bed house in a nice area!
(although we're lucky as the landlords are a local church and haven't put rent up for years, if we were to find a similar house in our area now, it'd be more like £950 as everyone seems to be renting out to students now.)
There are 3 bed houses a mile from here for about £500 a month, but I wouldn't want to live there haha.
Would you ever consider moving out of London?

Iwantanewlife

Moguline wrote: »

That rent is crazy! I live in the North West and we pay £750 rent a month for a 4 bed house in a nice area!
(although we're lucky as the landlords are a local church and haven't put rent up for years, if we were to find a similar house in our area now, it'd be more like £950 as everyone seems to be renting out to students now.)
There are 3 bed houses a mile from here for about £500 a month, but I wouldn't want to live there haha.
Would you ever consider moving out of London?

I know it is mad! I couldn't buy a one bed flat for less than £300k here.

No i dont want to move, my family are here, my career has far better prospects here and the earning potential in London is far greater. Maybe in 10/20 years id move further out for a bit of countryside, but not at the moment.

I suppose if i was married or something it might be different as i would have a support network, but at the moment, i wouldnt want to be on my own in a place with no family or friends.

[Deleted User]

Yeah that makes sense - if your family are there, then I wouldn't move away either.

Iwantanewlife

Moguline wrote: »

Yeah that makes sense - if your family are there, then I wouldn't move away either.

bar my sister, we are all literally walking distance between each other, all 26 odd of us :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

Aw, that sounds lovely! My family are 600 miles away as the crow flies, but most of OH family are about half an hour's drive away - still don't see them much though ha!

girlatplay

It's hard seeing other people doing the things that we want to do, especially when we are trying so desperately to do something about it.

I love my sister very much but I even get envious of her sometimes. Everything seems to just fall into her lap. She's always moaning about being skint but then they jet off on holiday, sometimes twice a year, or away for weekends or the wee one gets new clothes or toys and we're eating hoops on toast to see us to payday. She doesn't know what being truly skint is.

Want to know my big regret? I bought my first flat at age 18 (over 20 years ago) with my boyfriend at the time. Cost us £37k. We split up (of course we did) and I was so desperate to get out of the whole thing that I signed the flat over to him without getting anything for my share. About 4-5 years later he sold it for £60k and property prices have raised so much it's now worth at least £130k. I try not to think about it but know I should have fought harder.

I think when it comes to our finances we have to just jump in where we are and start trying to fix it from there. Only think about past mistakes to learn from and remind ourselves that we are not going to do that again. As people have said, you've figured it out now and you're doing absolutely amazing.
There are people who haven't managed to bust as much debt in the past two months as you have and there are people who have debts far bigger than yours who wish theirs was your size.
There are people who are yet to start their journey, not had their LBM yet and spend, spend, spending money that's not theirs. When they come along eventually they'll be jealous of you with your debt free life and your home in London (which you had a decent deposit for) and the fact that you're now a MFW! Your time will come, it's just hard work along the way. Keep focusing on the plan. I do like the teaspoon/lake analogy; Debt busting is like emptying a lake using a teaspoon. Just keep focussing on the teaspoon.

Chin up missy, you totally have this

Iwantanewlife

girlatplay wrote: »

It's hard seeing other people doing the things that we want to do, especially when we are trying so desperately to do something about it.

I love my sister very much but I even get envious of her sometimes. Everything seems to just fall into her lap. She's always moaning about being skint but then they jet off on holiday, sometimes twice a year, or away for weekends or the wee one gets new clothes or toys and we're eating hoops on toast to see us to payday. She doesn't know what being truly skint is.

Want to know my big regret? I bought my first flat at age 18 (over 20 years ago) with my boyfriend at the time. Cost us £37k. We split up (of course we did) and I was so desperate to get out of the whole thing that I signed the flat over to him without getting anything for my share. About 4-5 years later he sold it for £60k and property prices have raised so much it's now worth at least £130k. I try not to think about it but know I should have fought harder.

I think when it comes to our finances we have to just jump in where we are and start trying to fix it from there. Only think about past mistakes to learn from and remind ourselves that we are not going to do that again. As people have said, you've figured it out now and you're doing absolutely amazing.
There are people who haven't managed to bust as much debt in the past two months as you have and there are people who have debts far bigger than yours who wish theirs was your size.
There are people who are yet to start their journey, not had their LBM yet and spend, spend, spending money that's not theirs. When they come along eventually they'll be jealous of you with your debt free life and your home in London (which you had a decent deposit for) and the fact that you're now a MFW! Your time will come, it's just hard work along the way. Keep focusing on the plan. I do like the teaspoon/lake analogy; Debt busting is like emptying a lake using a teaspoon. Just keep focussing on the teaspoon.

Chin up missy, you totally have this

Thank you, your message has really cheered me up and made me see things a bit better!

My sister is exactly the same, she just did everything right first time, she got married a few months ago at 27, brought her first flat at 24, now brought a family home and just graduated with a Phd. I love her to pieces but sometimes i wish i had been a bit more like her!

Again, you are so right, we all have our own story and we all have our own paths. I do know that im lucky i had my LBM early, and also that i have time to sort it out - i think its a wider issue for me, my whole life i decided to always do things the hard way. A baby with a less than ideal man, not bothering with uni, not bothering with saving despite the fact ive always worked so hard and worked my way up an impossible ladder. I think i fall into the category of always feeling very entitled. Really its a good thing that these feelings are coming out, because its making me see my whole life is actually in need of an over haul.

I feel for you about the flat, that would haunt me for years, but at 18 you were way to young to actually understand the mistake you were making. Also love your strength just to want to get away from a bad relationship whatever the consequences.

Thanks again xxx

chelseablue

You are doing so well, we are all on our own journey

At least you don't have £9,000 to pay off like me :rotfl:

What job do you do? (Sorry if you've already said)

girlatplay

Iwantanewlife wrote: »

Thank you, your message has really cheered me up and made me see things a bit better!

My sister is exactly the same, she just did everything right first time, she got married a few months ago at 27, brought her first flat at 24, now brought a family home and just graduated with a Phd. I love her to pieces but sometimes i wish i had been a bit more like her!

Again, you are so right, we all have our own story and we all have our own paths. I do know that im lucky i had my LBM early, and also that i have time to sort it out - i think its a wider issue for me, my whole life i decided to always do things the hard way. A baby with a less than ideal man, not bothering with uni, not bothering with saving despite the fact ive always worked so hard and worked my way up an impossible ladder. I think i fall into the category of always feeling very entitled. Really its a good thing that these feelings are coming out, because its making me see my whole life is actually in need of an over haul.

I feel for you about the flat, that would haunt me for years, but at 18 you were way to young to actually understand the mistake you were making. Also love your strength just to want to get away from a bad relationship whatever the consequences.

Thanks again xxx

You sound so very like me, honestly, it's like reading about myself! The sister, the baby with the less than ideal man, no uni, no savings, hard blimmin' work.

To be fair to the long ago boyfriend, it was me who wanted out. Apart from being a bit annoying he didn't really do anything wrong. I was young and foolish and wouldn't listen to anyone else. Very tough lesson learned.

You're going to have days when it feels like you're getting nowhere but, as beanielou says, just keep plodding xx