Child Support from ex partner... whats fair?

bluenose1

There is a really easy to use maintenance calculator on the Child Support website. It is based on his income and the number of nights a year he has the kids overnight etc.

https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

I used it as an indication of what my ex should pay me. Amazed that more people don't know about it.
If your ex refuses to pay you the minimum amount you can ask CSA to pursue. Main difficulty is ehen someone is self employed as they can "fiddle" their income.

vik6525

Ive tried that before, but I honestly have NO idea as to how much he earns!

Poppy9

One of my friends gets £350 per month from her ex for their daughter (9). The father has the daughter from Wednesday night to Saturday afternoon each week and takes her away on holiday at Easter. He doesn't help out much during the summer holidays though as he's a teacher and goes away with his partner during this time. He also pays half for any residential school trips and buys generous Xmas & Birthday gifts. He signed the house and brand new car over during the divorce too. My friend knows he felt guilty for leaving them for someone else but says without the money from him she would have had to sell the house as she couldn't afford to keep the mortgage on. She is also planning for when her DD turns 18 as she knows the money will stop so she is aiming to be mortgage free.

Sarahsaver

My DD's dad gives me money for her which covers clothes and things like activities, school milk and stuff.
My sons' 'father' gives us diddly squat and is paying us by being missing and leaving us with a mortgage we cant change because his name is on it.
When the CSA WERE on to him he paid about £50 to £60 a week, but he is AFAIK out of the UK now. I think if both parties are reasonable then you will always sort something out which suits both parties.
if on the other hand one party is unreasonable then there is never a 'right amount' ( I do not even want his money, it would be 'dirty' money i just think its so unfair that he can do this to us)
I am providing for my kids now and for their 18th birthdays I am building up savings for them so they know not only what side their bread is buttered on but WHO provided it:)

Depends on if he is reasonable or not Vik. Remember there are two routes, CSA or not, if he is a decent bloke he would probably rather deal with stuff outside the CSA.

freyasmum

My ex gives me £400 a month but that is because he feels guilty about leaving me for a silly little girl.
I am saving as much of the money as I can for my daughter for when she is older. I am expected to pay for everything - even when she is with him. i.e. he can't cook or fend for himself so I have to provide all food, etc.

We haven't gone through the CSA, and the money is there when it's 'due'.

Lx

filigree_2

vik6525 wrote: »

Ive tried that before, but I honestly have NO idea as to how much he earns!

Didn't you say he's a teacher, or did I imagine that? If so, they are on a fixed payscale and you might be able to make a rough estimate of what he earns from that. Maybe any teachers on the forum can give you some hints.

vik6525

filigree wrote: »

Didn't you say he's a teacher, or did I imagine that? If so, they are on a fixed payscale and you might be able to make a rough estimate of what he earns from that. Maybe any teachers on the forum can give you some hints.

hes a part time college lecturer... to be honest, Im not the type who wants to 'screw him fo everything' if you see what i mean? I was just curious as to how much other people got with kids of my little uns age, cause, although £20 a week was fair enough a couple of years ago, now its not really covering basics. I.e school dinners are £11 a week alone...

withabix

Acehole wrote: »

lol i think I am being stroked then !!I give my ex-wife 400 squid a month now, was 700 for last 4 years for my 2 boys, I also pay for clothes, trips, toys etc, I also have them with me on monday , wednesday nights and every other weekend.Me thinks I should get some back pay from her listening to you people. And no I dont earn lots of money I come out with 1500 a month and have my own mortgage now to pay.

You ARE getting stroked!

jjmw28

Hi,
I understand that the non resident parent should pay maintenance towards the childs' upkeep. However it seems from these messages that the maintenance is expected to cover the whole cost of bringing up the child. For example, if the dinner money is £10 per week, doesn't that mean £5 from the mother and £5 from the father? Or a different proportion depending on what the mother earns?

The resident parent will also be getting child benefit and child tax credit, maybe even working tax credit, which are all aimed towards the cost of bringing up the children.

My OH pays £320 a month for 2 children, child benefits are around 120, plus both tax credits, the lowest CTC is £39 per month, so altogether it could work out at around 5-600 per month and that's before any income the resident parent earns.

I know it's not always as simple as that, I know the resident parent has to have a job to fit around the children, or pay for childcare if not, but both incomes are to cover the expenses, not just the child maintenance.

jjmw28

Strapped

Just to say, my hubby pays a lot more than has been been mentioned so far on this thread but I won't mention the amount 'cos I don't want to inflate your expectations Unfortunately doesn't get to see her anymore though.

I agree that the idea of estimating his wages from what info you can get is a good idea, just so you can know whether a figure you might suggest is realisitic or not. The more you can communicate with your ex, in a polite, business-like way, the better. The 50% of expenses idea seems fair, but remember that you may disagree over what is an agreed expense (eg if you wanted to book a course of flying lessons for your son, your ex might see this as an unecessary luxury rather than a necessity and so think that you should foot the cost, etc).