Child Support from ex partner... whats fair?

mkbean

Childcare fees and clothes mostly at the moment (he's 2.5), also presents for parties and the like.

Any furniture, bedding, or consumables we use at our own houses we cover as our own thing.

Acehole_2

No I didnt go through the CSA just paid her the money, I suppose because I left her there was an amount of guilt on my part hence the amount I have been paying, but it has been 5 years now and my ex is still very bitter, I have now re-married and will be losing my job in the new year so I will have to come to some other arrangement regarding the amount I give her. No doubt there will be some more hastle from her when I tell her I am dropping the amount I give her. I am going to suggest I give her 200 a month from January. I also signed over the house to her when I left so she has all the equity in the house too. we paid 31,000 for it so I assume it is worth a little more than that now.!!! but it seems that is still not enough for her

jinky67

Acehole wrote: »

No I didnt go through the CSA just paid her the money, I suppose because I left her there was an amount of guilt on my part hence the amount I have been paying, but it has been 5 years now and my ex is still very bitter, I have now re-married and will be losing my job in the new year so I will have to come to some other arrangement regarding the amount I give her. No doubt there will be some more hastle from her when I tell her I am dropping the amount I give her. I am going to suggest I give her 200 a month from January. I also signed over the house to her when I left so she has all the equity in the house too. we paid 31,000 for it so I assume it is worth a little more than that now.!!! but it seems that is still not enough for her

Blooming heck wish you were my ex:D
Probably nothing would suit your ex anyway.
I would definitely get in touch with CSA I know they get a bad name but I can honestly say I have never had a problem with them.
You are paying FAAAARRR too much unless you have some top job!

Acehole_2

As I said before i come out with 1500 a month so not a bad wage but not a top job by any means, soon to be redundant, factory closure, wonder if she will want half my redundancy pay too ? I think she should stop being so bitter now after 5 years, she is now engaged and i'm happy for her, but she is still very angry.

purplepatch

My DH pays 200 a month for his boy. The ex has moaned about it and told him he is tight even though it is more or less in line with CSA 15% amount.

Think she should have a read of this thread!

vik6525

Acehole wrote: »

No I didnt go through the CSA just paid her the money, I suppose because I left her there was an amount of guilt on my part hence the amount I have been paying, but it has been 5 years now and my ex is still very bitter, I have now re-married and will be losing my job in the new year so I will have to come to some other arrangement regarding the amount I give her. No doubt there will be some more hastle from her when I tell her I am dropping the amount I give her. I am going to suggest I give her 200 a month from January. I also signed over the house to her when I left so she has all the equity in the house too. we paid 31,000 for it so I assume it is worth a little more than that now.!!! but it seems that is still not enough for her

bloody hell! you really are a top bloke! fair play mate....

Acehole_2

wouldn't say I was a top bloke, its never good when a relationship falls apart, but I felt I had to leave when I did. The kids were and are still the most important thing. I can cope with the ex having a go at me as long as the kids don't have to hear it. They are both growing up now and understand how relationships work or sometimes dont so they can make their own minds up about me and thier mum and why It went wrong. I have always been honest with them and never hidden things from them, neither have I ever bad mouthed thier mum ( not in front of them anyway) lol. But boy she can be a greedy moo at times.

jinky67

Acehole wrote: »

As I said before i come out with 1500 a month so not a bad wage but not a top job by any means, soon to be redundant, factory closure, wonder if she will want half my redundancy pay too ? I think she should stop being so bitter now after 5 years, she is now engaged and i'm happy for her, but she is still very angry.

I reckon my ex must get that, but I have never received anywhere near that. What I get now is highest which I find strange because he has 2 other boys now.
Also the money I get has to cover everything...dinner money alone £60,school uniform,holidays etc.
Ex should think herself very lucky:cool:

floss2

Acehole wrote: »

wonder if she will want half my redundancy pay too ?

CSA told me I wasn't entitled to any of my ex's redundancy. However he ended up having to pay some over to me in a lump sum as he'd been lying to them for several years & he was caught out. As result he had to pay £340 a month for 18yr old DS2 to cover his "change of circumstances" i.e. 2 changes of job he hadn't told them about, and that he was not living on his own & paying all bills but living with & had joint mortgage with his fiancee. I was lucky as I had a very very good CSA officer & all the relevant paperwork from our divorce.

That was on "old" system though...with DS's going 1 weekend in 2 to his place, nothing during week or school holidays.

floss2

jinky67 wrote: »

What I get now is highest which I find strange because he has 2 other boys now.

Maybe his new partner has pointed out that he was being a bit stingy?