Would it be right to ask for money instead of gifts for a wedding?

Edinburghlass_2

Personally, if I received an invite asking for money, I'd go to one of the websites like this one http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/ and buy a gift for someone/a family who really needed it and I'd send it in a card refusing the invitation to the wedding.

Should they have asked for help funding an exotic honeymoon I would make sure the charity gift went to someone in the country they chose to travel to.

black-saturn

Edinburghlass wrote: »

I'd send it in a card refusing the invitation to the wedding.

I doubt I'd ask you anyway EL

dounome

Havent read all the posts but i have just attended a friends wedding, it was the second wedding for both of them and they asked for money to be put into a wishing well in a sealed envelope in the reception hall which they could use towards whatever they wanted, i think they used it to holiday in Scotland.
I found this to be quite alright and saved a lot of hassle looking for a present.
I think this is an australian custom which the bride requested as she lived there for years.
http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/weddings/wishing_wells/index.htm

candygirl

When i got married the 2nd time, we had everything we needed so asked for Thomas Cook vouchers.We then killed 2 birds with one stone ie didn't receive loads of crap gifts, plus had a nice holiday(not the honeymoon, we paid for that ourselves).ps I wouldn't have felt comfy asking for cash, not sure why but I wouldn't have

Gforce_2

It's a bit of a minefield really, no matter what you do someone will find fault with it. I think giving people a couple of options might be best but at the end of the day it is your wedding!

PayPeanuts_2

It is lovely of you to say you wouldn't mind anyone giving you a pound...

But how would you feel if it was only you with a pound to give! I'd bet you would be mortified!

~Chameleon~

Edinburghlass wrote: »

Personally, if I received an invite asking for money, I'd go to one of the websites like this one http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/ and buy a gift for someone/a family who really needed it and I'd send it in a card refusing the invitation to the wedding.

Should they have asked for help funding an exotic honeymoon I would make sure the charity gift went to someone in the country they chose to travel to.

hear! hear! :beer:

poet123

We were invited to a wedding last year where the request was for money. This from a couple who live in a large detached house,2 cars,grown children(from a previous marriage)and profits from the sale of 2 other homes!! They said they wanted to put the money towards a new washing machine!!! which most of the guests found very funny under the circs.:rotfl: My son who is a friend of their son was told by him that they were given £2,500 which paid for a large part of the reception...;) ...

I think it is slightly tacky tbh......better to follow the example of other friends at their silver wedding who had a basket for anonymous donations to charity and a seperate basket for cards. This way everyone wins and no one is embarassed.

If it really is the company of family and friends you want then this is a great idea.

chickaroonee

My honest opinion is that I don't like being asked for cash, sorry. I do understand what you mean about people asking you what you want etc, but it can feel really horrible on the other side if you can only afford a small amount. You may not mind at all, but I've been on the other side and it's made me feel really cheap. I know that's not your intention though!

I'm getting married next year and I think we will just have no mention of any gift list at all...I figure if people want to buy us something that's really kind, but not that important. Just happy they're spending the day with us.

jackieb

I wouldn't like to be asked for money. I do think it's a bit cheeky. I think it's a given that most people will give a present when invited to a wedding - I just don't like to be told what to buy. You don't get married just to get presents - if you get presents then it's a bonus, and you should be grateful someone has gone to the bother of getting something.

I only had about 12 people to my wedding but received lots of presents anyway. I didn't feel bad because I know i'd got them because people wanted to give them to me, not because they felt obliged because they'd had a wedding invite.