Would it be right to ask for money instead of gifts for a wedding?

Gforce_2

I think this is a difficult one. I personally wouldn't be offended by a request for money especially in your circumstances, but some people think it's bad manners to ask for cash.
Could you give people a couple of options for those that prefer to give a gift?

LouBlue

I can see both sides. If you have everything need, you don't want a load of gifts that you already have, but I also think that it looks a bit of a presumption that you are expecting something and for people with not much money, it is more embarrassing for them to write a cheque out for not much.

We got invited to a reception in the summer, I had never met them, and OH had not seen this mate for about 3 years. The invite said that as they already lived together and didn't need anything, wouldn't it be nice if we could all contribute to their honeymoon of a lifetime.....they were going to Australia and Hawaii. :eek: Well sorry, its their choice to have such an expensive honeymoon! Bit of a cheek I thought! So we got them an expensive bottle of champagne and a card. As I said, if we had both known them really well, I probably would have given them cash but it is a difficult one not to offend.

brazilianwax

That's exactly what I would have done, Lou xx

southernscouser

My mate recently asked for money or presents from House of Fraser or something!

The thing to do is make the present list really expensive, like plasmas and stuff, that way everyone will give you money! Or you get a load of plasmas which ain't bad either! :j


Just word it along the lines of, your attendance is all that matters blah blah but should you wish to buy us a present then money would be appreciated. We also accept all major debit and credit cards. Anyone giving us cheques please add £1.50 for processing costs.

pipkin71

brazilianwax wrote: »

That's exactly what I would have done, Lou xx

Ditto

Pipkin xxxx

HariboJunkie

LouBlue wrote: »

I can see both sides. If you have everything need, you don't want a load of gifts that you already have, but I also think that it looks a bit of a presumption that you are expecting something and for people with not much money, it is more embarrassing for them to write a cheque out for not much.

We got invited to a reception in the summer, I had never met them, and OH had not seen this mate for about 3 years. The invite said that as they already lived together and didn't need anything, wouldn't it be nice if we could all contribute to their honeymoon of a lifetime.....they were going to Australia and Hawaii. :eek: Well sorry, its their choice to have such an expensive honeymoon! Bit of a cheek I thought! So we got them an expensive bottle of champagne and a card. As I said, if we had both known them really well, I probably would have given them cash but it is a difficult one not to offend.

I agree Lou. I think money requests put far too much pressure on people to give you more as they don't want to be embarrassed and can't take advantage of bargains like they would with a present. We gave out a wedding list but also handwrote on it that it wasn't set in stone and no one should feel obliged to buy from it.

VickyA_2

LouBlue wrote: »

I can see both sides. If you have everything need, you don't want a load of gifts that you already have, but I also think that it looks a bit of a presumption that you are expecting something and for people with not much money, it is more embarrassing for them to write a cheque out for not much.

We got invited to a reception in the summer, I had never met them, and OH had not seen this mate for about 3 years. The invite said that as they already lived together and didn't need anything, wouldn't it be nice if we could all contribute to their honeymoon of a lifetime.....they were going to Australia and Hawaii. :eek: Well sorry, its their choice to have such an expensive honeymoon! Bit of a cheek I thought! So we got them an expensive bottle of champagne and a card. As I said, if we had both known them really well, I probably would have given them cash but it is a difficult one not to offend.

I agree too

However, we were invited to a wedding back in September of some really good friends. They had asked for money to be put towards a juke box as they had already got everything they wanted/needed. We felt that we just couldn't bring ourselves to pay money towards that, so we took them out for a lovely meal instead - they still got the juke box!

shelovestobuystuff

I don,t like it when people ask for cash as a wedding gift,main reason being that I think its a bit rude.Don,t know why I feel like that I just do.It also makes it difficult for guests who don,t have much spare cash.You are a money saver yourself so you should understand that.
I went to a wedding last month and because we were a bit tight for cash was planning on finding a really nice impressive gift that looked more expensive than it was.But they asked for cash so they could use it towards a trip they have planned for next year.If I had bought a present I could have found a good deal and spent about £30 tops but giving cash we put £100 in the gift envelope because thats what we found out everyone else was giving.
Maybe express a preference but leave people with the option.You can always sell stuff you don,t like and get cash that way afterwards.

nuttyrockeress

We got married on 1st September and included an A-Z in our wedding invites.We used G is for gifts.... Here is what we wrote. We received lots of little nick nacks as well as the cash/vouchers etc.

G is for Gift list. You presence rather than presents at our wedding is more important to us, however it you would like to get us a gift, we would like B&Q vouchers to help us with our home improvements and with the garden, or if you prefer, we would love some Canadian dollars or cash so that we can go on lots of day trips whilst in Canada on our honeymoon!

We have been together 11 years now so literally have everything for the house we could possibly need. Also - we didn't have a sit down meal - hence people were invited to all day apart form about 20 people - due to short seating space at the abbey....

LouBlue

Now there's a first, some people agree with me.