Would it be right to ask for money instead of gifts for a wedding?

paddingtondoo

I have been reading this with interest and now don't know what to do.

A wedding list is going to be a real problem as we are getting married in Yorkshire, our families are from Scotland and Suffolk and friends will be travelling from all over the place. So sending it out isn't an option and not everyone has net access.

We have already put 2 houses into one and I got custody of the wedding presents from last time some of which still haven't been used after 15 years but because they were gifts its difficult to part with them.

We want our guests to enjoy themselves and not bring a present but know we are going to get asked as there will be the usual work collections.

Any suggestions???

brazilianwax

We married in Wales and people travelled from Yorkshire, Scotland, Manchester, Essex and the Midlands.

Our list was online, and the majority of people gave us money.

If you'd rather have money or vouchers, have an online list. Alternatively set up a list at Argos or Debenhams or something - there's one of those on every street corner!

PayPeanuts_2

I think the best way to do it would be to say, we haven't got a guest list as we have everything we need, if you really feel the need to send us a gift please buy us xxxx vouchers (argos, debenhams, b+q, something that is everywhere) as we can put it towards something we really need. The most important gift you can give us is your attendence on the day to help us celebrate our marriage.

I still feel like cash contributions are hard on those who have little money. It is fine for you to feel like 'they can give what they can' but it is not fair on your guests if they feel like you will have a list of who has contributed and how much. I would feel awful if I had to give any less than £50.

black-saturn

brazilianwax wrote: »

If you'd rather have money or vouchers, have an online list. Alternatively set up a list at Argos or Debenhams or something - there's one of those on every street corner!

Online list is out for me as no one I'm inviting is online.

brazilianwax

black-saturn wrote: »

Online list is out for me as no one I'm inviting is online.

So you'd prolly get money instead then!!!

black-saturn

I went to my cousins wedding in June and she specifically asked for money but just came out with it in the invites. She didn't write any poem or verse she just blatantly asked for money. I gave £30 and my parents gave £50. I wouldnt be offended if any of my guests just gave us £1 TBH if thats all they could afford. I'd rather have nothing or £1 than a gift of no use.

Gforce_2

black-saturn wrote: »

I went to my cousins wedding in June and she specifically asked for money but just came out with it in the invites. She didn't write any poem or verse she just blatantly asked for money. I gave £30 and my parents gave £50. I wouldnt be offended if any of my guests just gave us £1 TBH if thats all they could afford. I'd rather have nothing or £1 than a gift of no use.

If that's the case I'd ask your cousin what type of response she got, she might be able to give you some tips. Am I right to assume some of the people who went to her wedding will be going to yours?

LouBlue

black-saturn wrote: »

I wouldnt be offended if any of my guests just gave us £1 TBH if thats all they could afford. I'd rather have nothing or £1 than a gift of no use.

I know you wouldn't be offended but some people would never just gift £1 or something and would feel embarrassed if they couldn't afford much.

DKLS

LuciferTDark wrote: »

Isn't it the Greeks who pin money to the Bride & Groom instead of giving gifts? Just tell everyone you can't think of what you need or would like so money or cheques would be better.

It is the greeks, the tradition is to pin large denomination bank notes to the groom suits, Fantastic idea I would great covered in £50 notes, although Fiancee is not up for a greek orthadox wedding :rolleyes:

LouBlue

DKLS wrote: »

It is the greeks, the tradition is to pin large denomination bank notes to the groom suits, Fantastic idea I would great covered in £50 notes, although Fiancee is not up for a greek orthadox wedding :rolleyes:

Well I would have to provide glue, difficult pinning £1 coins.