Would it be right to ask for money instead of gifts for a wedding?

hamedb0001

I don't really understand why people think it's rude to ask for money instead of gifts. To me it's a lot 'colder' having to pick gifts from a list at Debenhams/John Lewis or similar, where the couple knows exactly who bought what and therefore how much was spent by each guest. That also provokes a bit of vanity on the part of guests (of which I have definitely been guilty) where you feel like you have to buy something of a certain value.

I'm getting married in August in Italy, so to avoid any of that we're having a bridal purse that's completely anonymous: any guests that want to make a contribution just pop an envelope into the bag. Whether it's a fiver or five hundred pounds doesn't matter, since we won't know who gave the money anyway. And hopefully at the end of it we'll have some dough to spend on a few things we need for our house.

What could be wrong with that?

nannis

I think its fine to ask for money, in our case everyone thats coming to the wedding knows us really well, and most said before hand that they will give money rather than photoframes etc!
I worte the following to insert in the invitations and have since sent the invites out...everyone has commented on the poem and said what a great way of asking for money!...I was worried it would be cheeky to ask, but so far so good, people seem to understand...
There's always going to be some that think its rude, cheeky, cheesy, whatever...but you cant please everyone all the time...It is YOUR day so surely if you dont want to be inundated with kettles, toasters etc then you should say so??!!! Well thats my opinion, I see it more sensible than selfish ...
Anyway heres my cheesy poem

For Our Wedding, we'd like to say,
Your presence over presents is important on the day,

As for a gift, many have asked,
Do we have a gift list for presents that last?

We've lived together for a while now,
So have a kettle, toaster and cookie jar shaped like a cow!

As we have all of that a break would be nice,
But there's no gift list at the travel agents, we have asked twice!

So if you would like to help with our well needed break,
Please pop your donation in the box near the cake!!

*feel free to use poem*

Oh just to add, everyone knows we have paid for our honeymoon, we will be putting any money recieved towards visiting Luxor while in Egypt

cazac71

Just set up a contributions box at the reception, then that way, no one knows whos put what amount of money in it!

Caz

Timmne

How do you thank people if they do that?

black-saturn

Just to let you all know how I'm doing. I have booked and paid for almost everything for the wedding now. I built a wedding website on free webspace and on it theres a link for our wedding gift list. When you click on it there's a nice poem about how we have everything we need so your presence is more important than your presents. Because of this people are deciding themselves to give us money if they want to.

LouBlue

black-saturn wrote: »

Just to let you all know how I'm doing. I have booked and paid for almost everything for the wedding now. I built a wedding website on free webspace and on it theres a link for our wedding gift list. When you click on it there's a nice poem about how we have everything we need so your presence is more important than your presents. Because of this people are deciding themselves to give us money if they want to.

Nice to hear from you. Glad you got it sorted.

hilstep2000

My cousin is getting married for the third time in July, for his wife it will be the second time. They already live together. They have asked for vouchers from a travel company to put towards the honeymoon.
My daughter got engaged in March, and she and her fiance had lived together for a year, and were buying a new flat. They asked for Argos vouchers, to buy new furniture.
These days I think it's sensible.

lovemoneysaving

black-saturn wrote: »

I gave £30 and my parents gave £50.

I'll go to a colleague's wedding evening celebration soon, they've asked for money, I really don't know how much I should give. I know it's very personal, but what do you all think is reasonable amount from someone who's salary is below 20K.

lovemoneysaving

Personally I don't mind being asked for money at all.

Hemel_2

I done something similar for our 1st wedding anniversary, as our wedding was abroad.

I put on the invitations - "no boxed gifts" and ended up with a nice few bob (£XXXX.00)