Being charged double the dig money since boyfriend moved in

combeferret

(Skip to the end for the short version*)

Hi money savers! I've got a question regarding dig money, and yes, I know that I'm very lucky to still be able to live at home, but I implore you to hear me out.

I've been living with my Godmother (she's the closest relative I have other than my mum, think of her like my Gran) since I was 16, and I'm now 23. She's charged me £250 a month dig money since I was 18, which is absolutely fine. She pays for the groceries and the bills (although I pay the £44 Sky bill - I wouldn't have it if it were up to me), and so I know I'm getting a good deal as I know these things come to more than £250 a month.

The problem comes here; my boyfriend became unexpectedly homeless last month, and whilst we were sorting things out my Godmother sat us down and asked if he'd like to move in with us for a bit until he can save up some proper money to find a nice flat and pay off his debts a bit. Needless to say this was ideal as his new job (he finished up being a student recently) doesn't pay him til the end of July.

He's been living here for about 6 weeks now and that's all well and good. Only problem comes with the dig money. She's now also charging him £250 a month. £250 each isn't bad, however between us that comes to £544 (including Sky) that we are paying to live at home, when surely that should've been the cheap option? She insists that this barely covers our food and bills and that's all she uses the money for.

She says that her food and electricity bill has doubled since my boyfriend moved in, hence why she needs double the money, although we often go out and buy our own food as we like to cook our own things anyway.

I suggested that she stop buying our food, we buy our own (boyfriend moved away from home 3 years ago so is well used to doing his own shopping), and that we go thirds on all the bills, and help her out in other ways if she still needed it. I offered to help her cut her electricity bill as she claims to spend at least £100+ per month for gas and electricity, but she didn't want to hear it. She said no to all the above.

*It would be nice to get some perspective; godmother complains how much she spends on our food and bills (£544 a month), we offered to pay our own way so everyone can save money and she said no. What do we do from here?

gettingtheresometime

So you are being charged £544 that includes rent, food & bills?


Personally I think you're having a good deal there and if you don't think so then I'd sit down with a paper & pen and then work it out how much it would actually cost you if you moved out (which I guess you're free to do).

Comms69

combeferret wrote: »

(Skip to the end for the short version*)

Hi money savers! I've got a question regarding dig money, and yes, I know that I'm very lucky to still be able to live at home, but I implore you to hear me out.

I've been living with my Godmother since I was 16, and I'm now 23. She's charged me £250 a month dig money since I was 18, which is absolutely fine. She pays for the groceries and the bills (although I pay the £44 Sky bill - I wouldn't have it if it were up to me), and so I know I'm getting a good deal as I know these things come to more than £250 a month.

The problem comes here; my boyfriend became unexpectedly homeless last month, and whilst we were sorting things out my Godmother sat us down and asked if he'd like to move in with us for a bit until he can save up some proper money to find a nice flat and pay off his debts a bit. Needless to say this was ideal as his new job (he finished up being a student recently) doesn't pay him til the end of July.

He's been living here for about 6 weeks now and that's all well and good. Only problem comes with the dig money. She's now also charging him £250 a month. £250 each isn't bad, however between us that comes to £544 (including Sky) that we are paying to live at home, when surely that should've been the cheap option? She insists that this barely covers our food and bills and that's all she uses the money for.

She says that her food and electricity bill has doubled since my boyfriend moved in, hence why she needs double the money, although we often go out and buy our own food as we like to cook our own things anyway.

I suggested that she stop buying our food, we buy our own (boyfriend moved away from home 3 years ago so is well used to doing his own shopping), and that we go thirds on all the bills, and help her out in other ways if she still needed it. I offered to help her cut her electricity bill as she claims to spend at least £100+ per month for gas and electricity, but she didn't want to hear it. She said no to all the above.

*It would be nice to get some perspective; godmother complains how much she spends on our food and bills (£544 a month), we offered to pay our own way so everyone can save money and she said no. What do we do from here?

Your alternative is to move out - which you really should do anyway.


You're adults.

happyandcontented

I also agree it is a good deal.

The person you have been living with since you were 16 would not be classed as a close relative (is she, in fact, a relative?) and so should not be subsidising either you or your boyfriend.

If you were to move out your rent alone may be higher than you are paying now, then add in all the utilities and food and I think that you would be closer to £1000 than £500.

combeferret

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

So you are being charged £544 that includes rent, food & bills?

No, she insists it's only food and bills. She doesn't want to charge any rent since this is to help me build enough money for a house deposit.

happyandcontented wrote: »

The person you have been living with since you were 16 would not be classed as a close relative (is she, in fact, a relative?) and so should not be subsidising either you or your boyfriend.

If you were to move out your rent alone may be higher than you are paying now, then add in all the utilities and food and I think that you would be closer to £1000 than £500.

She is a very close relative, think of her like my Gran. I've known her my whole life. If I was to move out we would not be paying anywhere near £1,000 since most rentals come with bills inclueded - my boyfriend was paying £450 in his flatshare with all bills included before he left. We live in a small two bedroom flat currently.

spadoosh

combeferret wrote: »

No, she insists it's only food and bills. She doesn't want to charge any rent since this is to help me build enough money for a house deposit.

She is a very close relative, think of her like my Gran. I've known her my whole life. If I was to move out we would not be paying anywhere near £1,000 since most rentals come with bills inclueded - my boyfriend was paying £450 in his flatshare with all bills included before he left. We live in a small two bedroom flat currently.

Compare like for like. So doesnt matter if she says its only for food and utilities the fact that you dont have to pay rent means rent is included as part of the food and bills total.

So youre bf was paying £450 per month. Add on top of that £200 for food for the two of you (pretty conservative amount) and youre still on a winner.

It sounds like she might not be very moneysaving which is where youre having issues. You nkow you can get food and bills cheaper than £544, which is what she says its costing. And youre not happy with that amount. I dont think you can take that on face value though. You need to compare with what it would actually cost you on the whole if you moved out, im pretty certain, even if youre quite frugal youll be paying more, the same at best.

You say like a close relative maybe try asking to be more involved with managing the finances of the house to help for when you do move out. Id try and avoid upsetting her though because its very difficult for me to think youre not on a ood deal here.

combeferret

spadoosh wrote: »

It sounds like she might not be very moneysaving which is where youre having issues. You nkow you can get food and bills cheaper than £544, which is what she says its costing. And youre not happy with that amount. I dont think you can take that on face value though. You need to compare with what it would actually cost you on the whole if you moved out, im pretty certain, even if youre quite frugal youll be paying more, the same at best.

You know what, I think this absoutely hits the nail on the head. In my mind, I just can't fathom how she could possiby be satisfied paying more for things, whereas with myself (by virtue of being a member here) I want to squeeze every single penny for its worth.

I'm going to have to try and sit her down though, because I'm not very comfortable with her buying our food anymore, as a lot of it tends to get wasted as we end up buying our own food that we actually will eat.

DUTR

combeferret wrote: »

You know what, I think this absoutely hits the nail on the head. In my mind, I just can't fathom how she could possiby be satisfied paying more for things, whereas with myself (by virtue of being a member here) I want to squeeze every single penny for its worth.

I'm going to have to try and sit her down though, because I'm not very comfortable with her buying our food anymore, as a lot of it tends to get wasted as we end up buying our own food that we actually will eat.

Sometimes you have to be harsh to be kind, sit her down yes, I'd be showing you the door if you didn't like it.
2 bed flat £400 per month council tax £100 water rates £40 buildings insurance £20 energy £70 grocery £200 plus other bits missed off.

happyandcontented

combeferret wrote: »

No, she insists it's only food and bills. She doesn't want to charge any rent since this is to help me build enough money for a house deposit.

She is a very close relative, think of her like my Gran. I've known her my whole life. If I was to move out we would not be paying anywhere near £1,000 since most rentals come with bills inclueded - my boyfriend was paying £450 in his flatshare with all bills included before he left. We live in a small two bedroom flat currently.

Fair enough, but if your Bf was paying £450 for a flatshare with all bills, then for two even if they halved the amount added for an extra body ( and you wouldn't stay for free I am sure, even if it was a double room) that is still much more than you are paying now without food.

When our kids were at home we were paying £200 pcm for gas/elec, now it is still high because it is a big house, but it has dropped to £140 and we are 5 years on. Don't underestimate the impact two people have on utilities.

Robin9

Don't forget that your Godmother would have been receiving 25% single occupier council tax rebate if you hadn't been there - perhaps £300 a year.

Time for you to set up your own flat.

gettingtheresometime

DUTR wrote: »

Sometimes you have to be harsh to be kind, sit her down yes, I'd be showing you the door if you didn't like it.
2 bed flat £400 per month council tax £100 water rates £40 buildings insurance £20 energy £70 grocery £200 plus other bits missed off.

Not to mention the £150 tv licence lol!


OP will you be offering more money to cover the extra bills because of the double cooking?