Equity - Boyfriend - new house argument

Annieireland71

Comms69 wrote: »

but you said he wanted £12k from the equity??

NO - i said he is putting all the equity into the new house

after completion of the new purchase he wants to settle his credit card debts, and that is £12k. he wants me to get a loan for that - a good will gesture he says

swingaloo

Annieireland71 wrote: »

i wished i didnt have feelings for him but i do

You should have feelings for him- dislike, loathing, mistrust, resentment and anger.

Besides all the financial abuse he treats you like sh==, he complains about your daughters and would see you on the street without a second thought once you have been drained of cash or the ability to borrow more for him.


Im sorry but I want to shake you, please listen to all these replies and wise up.


I asked before, what do you get from him? What does he do for you?

Candyapple

Annieireland71 wrote: »

help to buy scheme gives a 20% deposit :-)

Ah ok. Makes sense.

So let me get this straight, once you have got this new house, he expects you:

1. To take out a loan of £12k to gift to him to clear his debts

2. To sell your car to help with number 3

3. Carry on working to cover the mortgage, bills and his lifestyle

Whilst he:

1. Still keeps his £36k car on finance which you will still be making the repayments for and I assume also pay for insurance and petrol

2. He is going to be contributing 25% towards bills/mortgage which you will be paying him…..so he can give back to you

3. Thus in turn he also reaps 25% of the equity in the new property

4. Still doesn’t have to work

Have I missed something?

Mojisola

Annieireland71 wrote: »

after completion of the new purchase he wants to settle his credit card debts, and that is £12k. he wants me to get a loan for that - a good will gesture he says

So he gets out of debt and you get further in?

Just what does he have to do to make you realise you are being used and that you are allowing it to continue?

KatrinaWaves

Comms69 wrote: »

Are you talking about shared ownership?


I've never heard of a help to buy giving 20% deposit.

It doesnt GIVE you anything, its a loan for 20% of the money, with interest payable after 5 years.

So basically another chunk of debt.

Either this is a wind up or someone has their head so far into the financial sand no amount of pulling is gonan get them out. Theyll be bankrupt before this is sorted.

Annieireland71

Sea_Shell wrote: »

I'm sorry, but this sounds like an abusive relationship, both mentally and financially, if not (yet) physically.

Finances aside, I really think that you need to seek help from someone, as otherwise the rest of your life will be like this....him making you feel physically sick all the time!!! Unfortunately, these things can and do escalate to the physical.

What if next time its a broken rib, rather than "just" feeling sick. Please, get help!

hes already been physical - but i made it clear that if he did it again it would be 999

Annieireland71

swingaloo wrote: »

You should have feelings for him- dislike, loathing, mistrust, resentment and anger.

Besides all the financial abuse he treats you like sh==, he complains about your daughters and would see you on the street without a second thought once you have been drained of cash or the ability to borrow more for him.


Im sorry but I want to shake you, please listen to all these replies and wise up.


I asked before, what do you get from him? What does he do for you?

i just want someone to hold me tight - give me a hug
tell me i'm gonna be ok.

i have no family
my parents both gone.

im feel so frightened

Comms69

Annieireland71 wrote: »

yes it does its a g'ment scheme

Can you send me a link to this? Because I've never heard of it and I've been on the housing board for years

Annieireland71

Candyapple wrote: »

Ah ok. Makes sense.

So let me get this straight, once you have got this new house, he expects you:

1. To take out a loan of £12k to gift to him to clear his debts

2. To sell your car to help with number 3

3. Carry on working to cover the mortgage, bills and his lifestyle

Whilst he:

1. Still keeps his £36k car on finance which you will still be making the repayments for and I assume also pay for insurance and petrol

2. He is going to be contributing 25% towards bills/mortgage which you will be paying him…..so he can give back to you

3. Thus in turn he also reaps 25% of the equity in the new property

4. Still doesn’t have to work

Have I missed something?

you have not missed a thing

Annieireland71

Mojisola wrote: »

So he gets out of debt and you get further in?

Just what does he have to do to make you realise you are being used and that you are allowing it to continue?

yes thats the total measure of it

i laffed so hard at him i cried