Wills and stepkids etc

help50

Looking for some info on what others have done in similar circumstances. Myself and wife, married 10 years, I have 3 kids aged 21+, she has 2 kids 23+, all away from home etc. Now looking to get wills drawn up and it comes to how things are split between kids. Her oldest kid is 27 and lives abroad where he grew up, we see him now and again but wasn't brought up in this new family. Her youngest was brought up from age of 12 in this new family. My wife came to the marriage with zero financial assets and does not work. I bought the house and its in joint names, I earn all the money and have always done, I run a business and am busy trying to build up financial assets. I started off thinking my estate should be split between my wife and my own 3 kids, then I moved to thinking it should also include my stepkid who joined me from age 12 as an equal share, but it seems too much to also include my stepson who was never brought up with us. Am I being unreasonable? Its quite a tricky subject.

Mojisola

What does your wife think about the idea of cutting one of her children out of your wills?

borkid

help50 wrote: »

Looking for some info on what others have done in similar circumstances. Myself and wife, married 10 years, I have 3 kids aged 21+, she has 2 kids 23+, all away from home etc. Now looking to get wills drawn up and it comes to how things are split between kids. Her oldest kid is 27 and lives abroad where he grew up, we see him now and again but wasn't brought up in this new family. Her youngest was brought up from age of 12 in this new family. My wife came to the marriage with zero financial assets and does not work. I bought the house and its in joint names, I earn all the money and have always done, I run a business and am busy trying to build up financial assets. I started off thinking my estate should be split between my wife and my own 3 kids, then I moved to thinking it should also include my stepkid who joined me from age 12 as an equal share, but it seems too much to also include my stepson who was never brought up with us. Am I being unreasonable? Its quite a tricky subject.

I presume you mean doesn't do paid work. Does she do all the house related work etc so that you have more time to run your business? That should be taken into account.

unholyangel

Your location says edinburgh, if that is correct I would get an initial appointment with a solicitor to have them advise you on what you need to take into consideration. Such as the legal/prior rights of your wife, biological children and any adopted children (stepchildren dont have legal right).

I would say the stepson will feel left out though if his sibling is treated as an equal but he isn't. Presuming he isn't considered part of the family due to his age at the time you married rather than bad feelings between you.

Your own children may also feel resentment if their stepsibling is treated equally depending on how they (children) view each other.

After you've spoken with the solicitor, I would discuss with your wife, children & stepchildren as to what they think would be fair - although I'd also make sure and tell them that theres the possibility there won't be anything left if you/your wife require care in later years.

Falling out over wills tends to happen because they expected to get x and got y. If they know from day 1 what the score is, theyre less likely to kick up a fuss when the time comes. Not that you'll be around to hear it but you obviously care or you wouldn't be on here asking what others think is fair.

I would also say consider the options for if you lose capacity and are unable to rewrite your will to account for circumstances changing.

POPPYOSCAR

What is your wife's will going to be?

Is she going to leave her share between all children?

Ms_Chocaholic

Yes I think you are being unreasonable; there's five children between the pair of you yet you are considering leaving one nothing. I think you need to think again.

maman

I'm assuming that even though you only see him from time to time you (and especially his mum) are on friendly terms with the son that's abroad . Not sure if all your children grew up in the new family either. However, that's not the main issue I'd consider.

If you looked at, say, a divorce situation your wife would be entitled to a share of the home and bank account /business. Maybe not 50/50 but 10 years is a reasonably long time and the longer it goes on the stronger her case becomes.

What we did in a similar family situation to you (but with both of us contributing and 1 child each) was to own our house as tenants in common (half each in our case). Our wills then say that we leave half the house and our money/investments to each child. That prevents either of us cutting a child out or not giving them an equal share (not that we'd even consider it but we wanted it legal).

But, your will also needs to deal with the immediate situation should /when one of you dies first. Does your wife stay in the home during her lifetime before the sharing out happens? What would she live on?

A briefer answer to your question is that despite you paying for everything, your wife has a financial interest and should be able to leave her interest to whoever she wants to. The same is true for you.

Good idea to sort it out now rather than leave it to be fought over later (cheaper too;))

onwards&upwards

You keep saying family but I don’t think that’s how you really feel.

Make sure your will treats all the children the same, anything else is poison.

Seanymph

I think if it's your money, you choose - if your wife survives you then anything you leave to her she will choose as well.

It's tricky. They aren't your children, that's the truth of it and why should you feel the same about an adult who you have never had much to do with simply because she was the product of an earlier relationship of your now wife?

There is also, possibly, a factor of how your children will inherit elsewhere, or how hers will - they may have a father who leaves them fortunes, and yours may not have another benefactor because what they would have got from their mother may have already come through to you........

There are many factors, and I think you are sensible to weigh them all up - just make your decisions as best you can.

FBaby

It's understandable that you would want to leave something to the child you built a relationship with and not the other but this would really be unfair to them and leave your wife in potentially a poor position.

I would do as you suggested, divide what you wa t between your children and wife, then she can decide herself what she does with what goes to her. This is fairer to all.

Owain_Moneysaver

Will your wife leave money she inherits to your children, or might she remarry and have/adopt her new husband's children?

You could leave 3/4 of your estate to be divided equally between your three children, and the remaining 1/4 to be divided between your wife and and your two stepchildren equally, so they each get 1/12.

Or you could do it inversely by age, on the basis that the youngest have most need of the money and the oldest have already had the chance to establish themselves.

Basically you have 6 potential beneficiaries and can allocate any fraction of the estate to any of them as long as the total adds up to 100% (or provides for a residuary legatee).

Take into account any grandchildren (now or future).

Also, and it may not be 'fair' but is one of the children more likely than another to carry on the business? If so they are more likely to be able to benefit from the reputation and goodwill you are building up as assets of an currently trading business, rather than selling/dissolving the business and splitting any resulting funds.