Wills and stepkids etc

help50

maman wrote: »

That's the bit I don't understand either. OP definitely posts as if all the assets are his and there may be good reason for that.





If it was just your money then that's quite understandable. But everything you've said suggests you think of all the assets as yours to dispose of as you think fit. That seems odd in a marriage. The stepchild that you hardly know is none the less your wife's son. I can't see that if they were her assets she'd want to discriminate against him. Do your adult children not think of family money/assets as shared between you and your wife? If they did they'd understand that all children (yours and your wife's) were being treated the same.


It is difficult to discuss in the context of what we've learned about the Scottish system but a lot of this depends on how your will provides for your wife, whether she's disadvantaged by your bequests to the children.

If this was a simple marriage with kids then yes I can see everything is one pot, regardless of who works, who doesn't. But in this case, I came to the 2nd marriage with 3 kids and decent amount of assets, a business and continued work. My wife came to it with very little savings she managed to extract from a bad marriage, no work, one kid and the other one remaining under guardianship of father. So, one view is that everything is lumped together and spread across the 5 kids. Another view is that the "remote" stepkid is in a different relationship to me and so my will would recognise that. The Scottish system states that 1/3 assets go to spouse, 1/3 to kids (not step kids) and 1/3 to do what you want with. If there is no spouse, its 1/2 to kids (no step kids) and 1/2 to do what you want with. My wife will receive all pensions, share of business, and my share of the house on top of the 1/3 of assets mentioned above. My one question is should the "remote" stepkid get as much from me as my blood kids given the completely different relationship.
Re the question about whose assets these are. I have some ISAs in my name, I have a car registered to me, I have a personal bank account, I have a couple savings account in my name. My wife has a car in her name, a personal bank account, and a savings account. Isn't that normal?

Ms_Chocaholic

Why should your wife get the half of your house?

We changed our home ownership to tenants in common so my children get my share of the house but my husband has a life interest in it and can continue to live in it, sell and move etc. My thoughts on this were that if I died, my husband might go on and remarry, if he then dies intestate, his new wife would inherit the home and my children would get nothing.

I don't know the value of your house versus what other assets you have though so it's difficult to advise.

Also if the house was automatically transferred to your wife, you are trusting that you wife would put your children in her will to inherit. That might not be the case. I think you need to be slightly selfish in terms of your own children.

help50

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

Why should your wife get the half of your house?

We changed our home ownership to tenants in common so my children get my share of the house but my husband has a life interest in it and can continue to live in it, sell and move etc. My thoughts on this were that if I died, my husband might go on and remarry, if he then dies intestate, his new wife would inherit the home and my children would get nothing.

I don't know the value of your house versus what other assets you have though so it's difficult to advise.

Also if the house was automatically transferred to your wife, you are trusting that you wife would put your children in her will to inherit. That might not be the case. I think you need to be slightly selfish in terms of your own children.

Yes that's another issue I have not worked through yet! I paid for the house completely, then we got married, but its in joint names so all fine. If I die and if she then had the house, on her death she could leave the house to her 2 kids only. I would say that's not fair on my 3 kids. Equally if she dies, I would get the house, and then I could leave the house to my 3 kids only. So yes another thing to work out. I know you can put the house in a trust but that means eg my wife could stay in the house but could not sell it, but I need to look into that more and understand the pros and cons. Thanks for flagging.

Ms_Chocaholic

The best thing for you would be to sit down with your wife and discuss it, then go and see a solicitor. The sooner the better I would say.

74jax

help50 wrote: »

Yes that's another issue I have not worked through yet! I paid for the house completely, then we got married, but its in joint names so all fine. If I die and if she then had the house, on her death she could leave the house to her 2 kids only. I would say that's not fair on my 3 kids. Equally if she dies, I would get the house, and then I could leave the house to my 3 kids only. So yes another thing to work out. I know you can put the house in a trust but that means eg my wife could stay in the house but could not sell it, but I need to look into that more and understand the pros and cons. Thanks for flagging.

She could also remarry, die without a will and it not go to any children but the new husband.....

Mojisola

help50 wrote: »

I know you can put the house in a trust but that means eg my wife could stay in the house but could not sell it

If you own the house as 'tenants in common' and leave your share to your children but give your wife a life interest, a well-written will should give details of who is to maintain the property and allow for the house to be sold and another to be bought and so on.

If a sale frees up some capital, you need to decide whether the surviving spouse should be able to benefit from any interest earned by the money or whether it should be distributed to the children at that stage.

[Deleted User]

How do your blood kids feel about sharing their inheritance with stepkids whose mother bought nothing financial to the relationship ?

bouicca21

Going back over this, you say you scarcely know the older stepchild. Does this mean your wife also has a distant relationship too?

help50

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

The best thing for you would be to sit down with your wife and discuss it, then go and see a solicitor. The sooner the better I would say.

yes we will of course do that. We've already been to solicitor, they ask, what do you want to do? I'll then write it up.

help50

74jax wrote: »

She could also remarry, die without a will and it not go to any children but the new husband.....

we are doing wills together just now to try and address all this, its a point we need to consider.