Marriage problems

Pollycat

winterblues2019 wrote: »

He'll be out drinking til the early hours or the next day and my child and I will be sleeping upstairs in a secured house.

Wouldn't a key give you a secure house?
Or are you worried about burglars even in a locked (but not bolted) house?

winterblues2019 wrote: »

Thanks for your contribution

You're welcome.

winterblues2019

I'm not really sure what you're talking about and it doesn't really help me or offer anything practical?

Pollycat

winterblues2019 wrote: »

I'm not really sure what you're talking about and it doesn't really help me or offer anything practical?

I'm not sure what is tricky to understand.

I thought I was pointing out the potential issues of bolting (your phrase) the door against your OH.
I thought that was helpful and practical.
My apologies.
As you were. :cool:

winterblues2019

I didn't see you stating any potential issues, just asking me questions? If you have something to suggest that I can do in my situation then please let me know, I've been asking for advice. But I think it boils down to put up and shut up for now and get legal advice and get him to agree to divorce and get him to agree to sell the house and if he doesn't agree then we all carry on as we were.

MovingForwards

You don't have to put up and shut up with it.

See a lawyer, get legal advice.

Ask about the way assets will be split.

Ask about how much it would cost to force a sale if he doesn't agree.

Ask how what steps you can take between now and when you can apply for a divorce.

Start saving some money in an account only you can access.

winterblues2019

Thank you, I am saving a bit but I have to pay credit debts as well. I'll get there!

Primrose

You are at least fortunate that new divorce laws have just come into being earlier this week which will permit No fault divorces to take place without waiting for a two year separation. If your partner is prepared to concede to this you could divorce quite quickly although obviously the issue of the house sale, and possibly who moves out first would still need to be resolved.

However as you are the major income earner and also have the responsibility of a child to care for, researching a good solicitor with family problems experience is probably worth spending some time on.

You are obviously getting very little domestic or financial support so making hismlife uncomfortable in all way domestically short of,locking him out might persuade him to move out. However, could you afford to buy him out and increase the mortgage, even if you got a lodger. Sensible to do some of this research first before taking any action so you can pursue future options with more confidence.

Good luck. You sound as if you're having a miserable time as things stand and would really be better off going it alone.

I don't understand though, how he can afford to be out drinking two or three nights a week if he,s not earning regularly. How is he funding this? Presumably by spending what little he does earn on booze rather than giving it to you for groceries or to pay the mortgage? That,s why it's important going forward that he now takes responsibility for the rest of his needs like buying and doodling his own food, washing his own laundry, etc. Why should your child go without to fuel his drinking habit, whichnis effectively what,s happening.

Any chance of support from anynof his family? Probably a silly question in view of the fact that they have sponged on you before for free accommodation.

Pollycat

winterblues2019 wrote: »

If you have something to suggest that I can do in my situation then please let me know, I've been asking for advice.

No, I have nothing to suggest.
Other than this that I posted up-thread.

Pollycat wrote: »

Reading some of your posts, I really think you need to seek legal advice to avoid causing trouble for yourself.

babyblade41

The no fault divorce won't become law until it is read in parliament possible autumn time so for now the old rules will still apply...but you seem to hsave the relevant criteria to meet them.

You will need a divorce lawyer to get you through this and take with you a list off all you owe and for what they are for.

You should never have continued paying his responsibilities as now your credit rating will drop and not his . All this must now stop .

You need a conversation with him alone so maybe arrange for your child to stay with a family member and maybe have a mediator with you.. informal for now and possibly a mutual friend who will allow both of you to be heard rather than a slanging match

You need professional advice and not from strangers on a forum.

Good luck

Ergates

Pollycat wrote: »

What is 'tricky to understand' is how you can bolt the door with your OH on the outside and not be denying him entry to a property he part owns.

And what's he going to do about it in the middle of the night?