Two bedroom flat - children

goodwithsaving

A few things after following this thread...


- The children are of an age where you surely saw this coming a good few years ago but through refusing to change situation, the years have crept up and now you are realising
- Those in owned properties would likely have to relocate out of favoured area if property no longer matched their living needs, it's called compromise
- It is one thing a teenager choosing to go to their rooms for an evening, another thing entirely them having to
- Your children are being denied privacy because of your refusal to move
- Many adults do sleep apart (to address a previous poster) and it doesn't always ruin relationships. In fact, it can save them


You won't move, you won't amend living arrangements, you lived there long before having two children but knew you wouldn't ever be keen to move....so I'm not terribly sure how this forum can help you?


Apologies for being blunt, but that is how I see it all.

svain

This is potentially a a 10year scenario .... being seperated from my partner would not be an option for me and i would strongly advise against that. Kids are important but I disagree with the modern culture of kids come first at any cost. Their privacy is no more important than the adults and shouldnt be the priority at the expense of the adult relationship. Putting kids on this kind of pedestal contributes to why we have such an emotionally sensitive generation.

OP needs to find a way of siblings continuing to share or the living area is used as adults bedroom with no interruptions after a certain time.

pinkshoes

Seems straightforward to me.

Kids get a bedroom each and you have the living room as your bedroom.

The privacy of your kids is more important than your sex life.

Go sh*g in the bathroom or book your kids into an activity club of some sort a few times a week!!!

MysteryMe

Exactly, I find the OP's attitude and priorities quite disturbing.

Aced2016

Simple solution the living room becomes your room !!

I had to do that for 3 years to ensure my kids were happy !

It puzzles me you haven't done this by now?

Strange how we all have different priorities !

And poster above claiming we shouldn't be putting kids first is madness! Of course we should, why would you want unhappy kids ? At 14 sharing with a 9 year old boy is no good at all !!!

MallyGirl

My Mum slept in the living room on a sofa bed so that my brother and I did not have to share. She was divorced but not single for most of that time and they managed.

Brighton_belle

svain wrote: »

This is potentially a a 10year scenario .... being seperated from my partner would not be an option for me and i would strongly advise against that. Kids are important but I disagree with the modern culture of kids come first at any cost. Their privacy is no more important than the adults and shouldnt be the priority at the expense of the adult relationship. Putting kids on this kind of pedestal contributes to why we have such an emotionally sensitive generation.

OP needs to find a way of siblings continuing to share or the living area is used as adults bedroom with no interruptions after a certain time.

Something tells me that possibly you are not and never have been a young woman with periods having to share a room with a 9 year old boy.That any parent could prioritize there own personal needs above their daughter in this situation is astonishing.

chesky

thorsoak wrote: »

Have you thought about advertising for a housing exchange?

I suggested this days ago - first page - totally ignored by OP. But in the light of her not wanting to move even to improve the situation, I'm not surprised.

svain

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Something tells me that possibly you are not and never have been a young woman with periods having to share a room with a 9 year old boy.That any parent could prioritize there own personal needs above their daughter in this situation is astonishing.

This is much bigger than their own "needs" though isnt it ..... the consequence is potentially much bigger (tension, unhappiness, break up etc). Its a situation that is far from ideal whatever they do, however to martyr there relationship for a possible decade is equally ridiculous and in the long term could do even more damage to the children.

Children are not always as delicate as some like to make out, some children, if treated with a degree of intelligence, maturity, robustness and explain the situation they can adapt very well to the most challenging situations .... Assuming they will become emotionally damaged because they shared a room is also ridiculous.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

This is much bigger than their own "needs" though isnt it ..... the consequence is potentially much bigger (tension, unhappiness, break up etc). Its a situation that is far from ideal whatever they do, however to martyr there relationship for a possible decade is equally ridiculous and in the long term could do even more damage to the children

Children are not always as delicate as some like to make out, some children, if treated with a degree of intelligence, maturity, robustness and explain the situation they can adapt very well to the most challenging situations .... Assuming they will become emotionally damaged because they shared a room is also ridiculous.

Then the OP and her partner should have addressed the issue years ago.
It's not as though it's come as a bolt out of the blue.

Re your final paragraph, the OP has said nothing at all about how her children feel about sharing a bedroom.
Assuming the children won't become emotionally damaged because they shared a room is equally ridiculous.