Two bedroom flat - children

onwards&upwards

Pollycat wrote: »

I agree, SDW.
The OP says this:

I'm not sure if they already have a sofa bed in the living room or are considered getting one but the OP doesn't seem that keen on that option.
The bottom line is that a 3rd bedroom isn't going to magically appear in the flat.

.

Just in case the OP is reading, you can get great sofa beds these days, slatted bases, proper mattresses and up to king size. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune either, Ikea ones get very good reviews.

sheramber

svain wrote: »

This is much bigger than their own "needs" though isnt it ..... the consequence is potentially much bigger (tension, unhappiness, break up etc). Its a situation that is far from ideal whatever they do, however to martyr there relationship for a possible decade is equally ridiculous and in the long term could do even more damage to the children.

Children are not always as delicate as some like to make out, some children, if treated with a degree of intelligence, maturity, robustness and explain the situation they can adapt very well to the most challenging situations .... Assuming they will become emotionally damaged because they shared a room is also ridiculous.

So children are not delicate and should adapt but the adults are so fragile that they cannot and their marriage will break up if they have to sleep in the living room.

Are the children more likely to come into the living room during the night than into the bedroom .

Do the adults disappear into their bedroom at 9 pm to have sex so the children must be banned from the living room from 9pm?

seven-day-weekend

onwards&upwards wrote: »

9pm is way too early though, especially for a flat as lots are open plan. I think 10 or 11pm is reasonable. 9pm cutoff could restrict social and after school activities.

If their parents are anything like me, they are in bed by 9 pm

svain

sheramber wrote: »

So children are not delicate and should adapt but the adults are so fragile that they cannot and their marriage will break up if they have to sleep in the living room.

Are the children more likely to come into the living room during the night than into the bedroom .

Do the adults disappear into their bedroom at 9 pm to have sex so the children must be banned from the living room from 9pm?

I didnt say that sleeping in the living room is a bad idea ... I said the adults being seperated long term potentially is .... 10pm is a fair time i think to allow the adults to have the living room to themselves. Nothing wrong with the children learning how to compromise aswell in this situation. Perhaps if parents encouraged more compromise in some children, they would be stronger emotionally and less entitled feeling as they get older when things dont go their way or they are challenged.

miriamac

sheramber wrote: »

So children are not delicate and should adapt but the adults are so fragile that they cannot and their marriage will break up if they have to sleep in the living room.

Are the children more likely to come into the living room during the night than into the bedroom

Do the adults disappear into their bedroom at 9 pm to have sex so the children must be banned from the living room from 9pm?

BiB - depends on the layout of the house.

In the house where I grew up, and all the houses in the same (huge) scheme, and quite a few of the new private houses that have sprung up roundabouts - you have to go through the living room to get to the kitchen.

sheramber

My children never needed to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

The bathroom ye, but not the kitchen.

If they were ill then they would come into the bedroom to waken me anyway.

Pollycat

sheramber wrote: »

My children never needed to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

The bathroom ye, but not the kitchen.

If they were ill then they would come into the bedroom to waken me anyway.

Absolutely.
Glass of water by the side of each child's bed.
Why would they need to go to the kitchen?

And in the OP's case, is it even necessary for the children to go through the living room (aka the parents' bedroom if the OP adopts that suggestion as a solution) to access the kitchen.

onwards&upwards

sheramber wrote: »

My children never needed to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

The bathroom ye, but not the kitchen.

If they were ill then they would come into the bedroom to waken me anyway.

9pm isn’t the middle of the night though!