Treating adult children equally

Smosal

Simple question. If you have surplus assets and wish to gift a lump sum to your adult children (35 and 32] do you give them both the same amount irrespective of their earnings and needs? My partner and I agree disagree ...

Lioness_Twinkletoes

I would, yes. Why should one child be penalised for doing well?

Sea_Shell

Of course the same...unless you want to be seen to be favouring one over the other.

pickledonionspaceraider

Yes always the same.

Everything the other two posters have said

Mojisola

Smosal wrote: »

Simple question. If you have surplus assets and wish to gift a lump sum to your adult children (35 and 32] do you give them both the same amount irrespective of their earnings and needs? ...

Generally, yes, unless there were special circumstances such as a disability or health problems.

Carrot007

More info would be needed.


While equally would be the logical starting point there could be other factors.


One for example might have issues giving them very little job prospects. You could arguethat they might need it more through no fault of their own.


Also, in the end it is your money to do with as you wish and life is not fair.


Of course I would be more on the side of different splits with good reason than just becaausae one was my favourite. But no one can tell you how to use your money.


(Full disclosure, my Father has told me I am getting nothing, I agree with his reasons.)

Guerillatoker

Carrot007 wrote: »

More info would be needed.


While equally would be the logical starting point there could be other factors.


One for example might have issues giving them very little job prospects. You could arguethat they might need it more through no fault of their own.


Also, in the end it is your money to do with as you wish and life is not fair.


Of course I would be more on the side of different splits with good reason than just becaausae one was my favourite. But no one can tell you how to use your money.


(Full disclosure, my Father has told me I am getting nothing, I agree with his reasons.)

I agree with this post, though I do not have children. If I were to pass away I would prefer my sister to get most of my estate even though I'm closer to my brother, because she needs it more.

Bettering the position of a low-income family member could have a lifchanging positive impact, more than I can imagine any gift could to the more better off.

onomatopoeia99

I don't understand parents that woudl discriminate against one of more of their children. Seems a sure fire way to cause resentment.


Maybe my feelings are influenced by the fact that my parents have always treated their children the same, in terms of financial help and in other ways.

happyandcontented

I think that if they are all healthy and have had the same opportunities then leaving more to one child than another is divisive. It could well result in a falling out after you have both gone.

Personally, I would hate to think that I had caused that by not being equitable regardless of if I secretly favoured one over the others.

Keep_pedalling

We have 2 children, and yes there are circumstances where we would treat them differently based on need. Currently we gift equally between them they are both in a similar financial situation and both have a young child with only one wage coming in each, but if redundancy hit one we would bail them out without matching that up for the other. When we paid of our daughters student loan, we did not make an equal gift to our son who had managed to avoid a SL.

If one was earning raking in 6 figures and the other was struggling on a careers or nurses wage then yes we would not treat them equally as far as gifts are concerned.

Keep_pedalling

happyandcontented wrote: »

I think that if they are all healthy and have had the same opportunities then leaving more to one child than another is divisive. It could well result in a falling out after you have both gone.

Personally, I would hate to think that I had caused that by not being equitable regardless of if I secretly favoured one over the others.

Secrecy should not come into it, you should be honest with them.