Treating adult children equally

Pollycat

martinbuckley wrote: »

Good Lord, you are not expecting someone to come on here, present all the facts and then ask for advice, are you?

This is a forum where you are lucky if you get half the story before being asked for advice!

I expect nothing from most posters on MSE...;)

MisterP123

martinbuckley wrote: »

Good Lord, you are not expecting someone to come on here, present all the facts and then ask for advice, are you?

This is a forum where you are lucky if you get half the story before being asked for advice!

:T :rotfl:


Anyway, to the OP, if it's giving for the sake of giving then I can't see any reason why it wouldn't be split equally? Unless you've disowned one....

However, if you're giving to help out one of them, it's a different matter.

To look at it a more morbid way, are your assets split 50/50 between them in your will?

Doodles

It should always be split equally.

How well one maybe doing better in life, financially etc is irrelevant.

By not giving equally you are effectively penalising the child that has done/doing well for themselves.

Pollycat

Doodles wrote: »

It should always be split equally.

How well one maybe doing better in life, financially etc is irrelevant.

By not giving equally you are effectively penalising the child that has done/doing well for themselves.

Maybe the child doing well doesn't want or need any money from the parents.

I'm in a very different place financially to my sister.
I don't want or need any money from my parents and would not accept a gift of money.

As the OP hasn't provided any additional information, I guess we won't know any more until they do...

Sea_Shell

Is it a pure gift or are they subsidising your siblings life either as a one off, or ongoing commitment?

Family finances are a minefield...tread very carefully!!

ChrisK....._3

I can answer that for you
the children standing to gain the most will agree and the children standing to gain the least will disagreethat was the easiest question I've ever had to answer

theoretica wrote: »

What do the children think?

AubreyMac

Mojisola wrote: »

Generally, yes, unless there were special circumstances such as a disability or health problems.

I had to consider this when writing up my will.


I don't have kids but do have nieces and nephews, one with significant life long health needs.


In the end I decided to divide equally. Whats to say the healthy ones won't become disabled or develop illness to the point they need care themselves?


However, my ideal is to spend all my hard earned money on a damn good time before departing, leaving a penny to nobody.

ChrisK....._3

In which case the child can give it to their siblings, but giving them a share gives then the right to choose

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe the child doing well doesn't want or need any money from the parents.

I'm in a very different place financially to my sister.
I don't want or need any money from my parents and would not accept a gift of money.

As the OP hasn't provided any additional information, I guess we won't know any more until they do...

Pollycat

ChrisK..... wrote: »

In which case the child can give it to their siblings, but giving them a share gives then the right to choose

What's the point?

I've already chosen not to accept any money from my parents (sadly only one is left).
I know they love/loved us both equally.

There's no need - at least in my situation - for a grand gesture of 'here you are, we're treating you both the same'.

pinknsparkly

Generally yes, an equal split unless there is a specific need such as one child requiring life long care that will need to be funded.

However, there is no way of guaranteeing the children won't fall out anyway. There's been a major falling out in a family I know in which child A spent it on living expenses and holidays whilst child B invested it into property. Despite the parents keeping very detailed records demonstrating that the two children received exactly the same amounts whilst the parents were alive and and a 50/50 split in the will, child A is extremely bitter and convinced that the parents secretly gave child B much more money as child B has two properties and a comfortable lifestyle with early semi-retirement whilst child A is still unemployed and in rented accommodation.