Not the highway code

Mr.Generous

A short drive tonight and it got me thinking what some people must believe the highway code should say …

I'm thinking about all sorts of stuff like lighting, parking, giving way, using your phone etc, but i'll start with 2 rules, please post a few of your own.

1. You must not park where it causes an obstruction including zigzag lines - unless of course you stick your hazard lights on, then its ok.

2. If your headlight bulbs fail you should replace them as soon as possible - unless you just want to stick your fog lights on until your next MOT that should be fine.

danny91

When approaching a junction to a main road, you must stop at the end of said junction and give way to traffic already on the carriageway which you wish to join...unless you’re late for work/Pilates because of your own laziness and poor timekeeping skills, which then you are permitted to edge out unnecessarily into oncoming traffic and believe they MUST let you out.

waamo

Indicating is optional. Indicating on a roundabout is not allowed.

Mr.Generous

waamo wrote: »

Indicating is optional. Indicating on a roundabout is not allowed.

A guy I saw the other day was definitely a law breaker then, he approached a 4 exit roundabout with his left indicator flashing, because of his speed I hesitated to join the roundabout - he went straight across merrily indicating left the whole time.



New rule:

You should not use your handheld mobile phone when driving. However if you put it on speaker phone (A La Apprentice style) and hold it a good distance from your head its allowed.

PasturesNew

You don't need to decide which exit you're taking when you're on a roundabout until the last minute - everybody else will understand; a beep from other drivers means "well done, you made it through that gap".

coffeehound

When stopping at the side of a road, park opposing the direction of traffic flow to cause maximum disruption to other drivers. Leave your headlights on, too. When attempting to pull back out, effect short, jerky movements forward to make other drivers think you will crash into them if they don’t let you out.

Tokk

Never use the handbrake at a red light, especially not if you're on a slope.
Either sit on the footbrake or balance on the clutch (preferably the latter on an incline, making sure to slip backwards occasionally just to remind the driver behind that you're in a hurry).


Never indicate to move into the middle lane on the motorway - the left hand indicator is for moving to the inside lane only (if then, even).


Never ever use mirrors in advance of a manoeuvre, it's up to everyone around you to react to what you do (even if you don't indicate), it's absolutely not up to you to time it sensibly.

ManAtHome

Always use full beam so you can see further.

Adjust one headlight to point upwards to ensure you can see low-flying helicopters.

NBLondon

Tokk wrote: »

Never indicate to move into the middle lane on the motorway - the left hand indicator is for moving to the inside lane only (if then, even).


Never ever use mirrors in advance of a manoeuvre, it's up to everyone around you to react to what you do (even if you don't indicate), it's absolutely not up to you to time it sensibly.

When you are travelling at 58 mph and come up behind a HGV travelling at 56mph; swing into the next lane, then indicate while accelerating to 61.5 mph. The car already in that lane overtaking at 70mph will dissolve

jk0

If a car is parked on one side by the curb, rather than park in front or behind it, you should park directly opposite it. This serves to slow traffic down to a crawl as the two directions have to constantly give way to each other.

jk0

When joining a motorway, pull immediately into the middle lane in order to pass anyone joining the slow lane. If you're feeling brave, join the fast lane.