Husband of tenants died, wife was given time to pay - now she is refusing to communicate

Norman_Castle

If she has a connection to her husband's aunt next door and actually wants to stay, then we need to work together to find out if she can afford to stay and how she can until his probate is sorted out.

Write to her explaining you understand her situation and are willing to keep her as a tenant but she needs to communicate with you.

Red-Squirrel_2

Norman_Castle wrote: »

Write to her explaining you understand her situation and are willing to keep her as a tenant but she needs to communicate with you.

From the sounds it her husband has only been dead about a month, and the OP has been pretty heavy handed so far. I think treading a bit more lightly would be advisable. His financial situation is not the widow’s problem and he’d have been much better finding out his exact position before weighing in, so should learn from that.

lisyloo

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

From the sounds it her husband has only been dead about a month, and the OP has been pretty heavy handed so far. I think treading a bit more lightly would be advisable. His financial situation is not the widow’s problem and he’d have been much better finding out his exact position before weighing in, so should learn from that.

I don’t agree and think he’s been more than fair.
If she was merely a guest and not a tenant then he’s been fair.
I agree should have investigated first and understoood the implications of creating a tenancy when taking money.
Easy to say in hindsight though.

paddy's_mum

Poor woman.

I find myself wondering what else is left to go wrong for her....? She must feel lost in an ocean of fear and shock.

lisyloo

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Poor woman.

I find myself wondering what else is left to go wrong for her....? She must feel lost in an ocean of fear and shock.

I expect she is at the very least depressed and has cut off communication because she cannot cope rather than anything more cynical. It’s very sad she has no support.

Her husband did not do her any favours in this regard and they should have been better prepared (I’ve had a will since my 20s and had an EPA in place in my 30s).
Such comments obviously won’t help her know but hopefully someone reading might learn something from this.

itchyfeet123

If you decided to give her 3 months until Feb 22 to sort things out, and told her this, why are you assuming bad faith on her part already? She probably took you at your word that she had that much time to find a solution, and has already paid some of what's owed. She's dealing with a million things now, and a lot of contact from you/your agents won't facilitate you getting paid quicker. Instead, it adds more stress and makes it more likely that something - maybe the money you're owed, maybe something else -doesn't get sorted because her mental bandwidth is exhausted.

Your instincts were right and generous to give her time to figure everything out. Let her know that you're available if she needs to update you, but otherwise leave her alone until the date specified.

comeandgo

We are going through a family berevement too and it really saps you. Please give this lady some leeway. She probably can't deal with your agents or you nagging her and that's why she is not communicating. Imagine if someone treated your mum that way in the first few months of losing you dad. Will your world collapse if she is late in paying? Hers has.

Norman_Castle

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

From the sounds it her husband has only been dead about a month, and the OP has been pretty heavy handed so far. I think treading a bit more lightly would be advisable.

I don't think he has been heavy handed. I think it would be easier for her to have a conversation with her landlord which could reassure her with regards to the tenancy.

Hurdler

Norman_Castle wrote: »

Write to her explaining you understand her situation and are willing to keep her as a tenant but she needs to communicate with you.

Yep - Will do as soon as I get back and then will actually drive down to see her/managing agent to resolve.

Hurdler

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

From the sounds it her husband has only been dead about a month, and the OP has been pretty heavy handed so far. I think treading a bit more lightly would be advisable. His financial situation is not the widow’s problem and he’d have been much better finding out his exact position before weighing in, so should learn from that.

I think that is pretty unfair. I came here to find out why she might be going to the coucil because not only am I not living there anymore, I am currently overseas for a couple of weeks for work/holiday and so can't just pop round to see what is happening.

My concern is that somehow she is not talking to the managing agent (who by the way has tried to help her by relaying my advice about places she could go for advice, based on how helpless my own mother was when we lost my father... I was there to sort out most of it, but she still needed help when I was not around).

I am trying to give her as much leeway as possible but being self-employed myself three months is as much as I can manage without getting into financial difficulty myself. It is hardly my fault they were alienated from their immediate families/had family strife to contend with after his death.

I came here asking for ideas as to what the council involvement meant. Not for judgement. Then again I remember what some people are like on here.

I won't bother asking for advice here again. Thanks to the few who were actually helpful.