Life is a minestrone as the song says - my new diary

Karmacat

Teapot, I'm sorry the grief smacked you so badly yesterday - it happens, doesn't it, and yes, sitting quietly and letting it work its way through feels much the best to me, for me personally.

Do you have anywhere special you associate with your OH? When my BiL died (10 years ago next month, good lord!) my sister made a donation to the Woodland Trust in his name, and quite a few times we've been walking in the acre of woodland designated as "his". I don't know if you're close to places that already have meaning to you, of course.

beanielou

Hope today is a better day

teapot2

Karmacat wrote: »

Teapot, I'm sorry the grief smacked you so badly yesterday - it happens, doesn't it, and yes, sitting quietly and letting it work its way through feels much the best to me, for me personally.

Do you have anywhere special you associate with your OH? When my BiL died (10 years ago next month, good lord!) my sister made a donation to the Woodland Trust in his name, and quite a few times we've been walking in the acre of woodland designated as "his". I don't know if you're close to places that already have meaning to you, of course.

Thanks KC, the grief comes in waves out of the blue sometimes. I know I could get really busy and distract myself but in the end I think to sit with the sadness is what works best for me, I know it will move 'further away' again.

Thats a lovely idea for your BiL and I imagine comforting to walk in the woodland. There are very many places around that I associate with OH and where we spent time or had fun.

OH is actually buried in a wood and I go there when I can. There are benches around to sit and reflect, its very peaceful and there is a real sense of the seasons passing and changing as the trees lose their leaves and the canopy thins and then fills out out again.

teapot2

Better weather today though still chilly out of the sun. I went to the PO with the 2 online sales and also got some cards from the CS. I need to write back to a couple of OH's friends who were in touch at Christmas. Top up bread shop done as well.

After lunch I cleared up some of the dead foliage in the garden, the weeds in the front are starting to take hold where the earth is bare so I'll have to try and keep on top of them.

A few surveys today, one from Ugov and a couple of Prolific too. I've ordered an online shop to be delivered on Wed eve. Another online sale tonight :T so will post that tomorrow morning.

beanielou

Always good to just let the feelings come I think.
Part of the grief process.

Karmacat

That all sounds the right path for you, teapot, given your situation. I hope you have a peaceful night's sleep after all this today.

teapot2

Karmacat wrote: »

That all sounds the right path for you, teapot, given your situation. I hope you have a peaceful night's sleep after all this today.

Funny you should say that, had a definite anxiety dream where I left my wallet with all my cards and money in, sitting out in full view whilst thinking to myself 'if I leave it there it will get stolen'......
Thats exactly what happened in the dream and I then had to try and remember which cards I had [kept forgetting], and also couldn't find the numbers to call to cancel each one on the www on my phone. Hmmm maybe it suggests I think its my own fault I'm in a bit of a financial pickle and I'm going to be slow to get out of it!!!:o:o

beanielou

Welcome to the financial pickle club!!

teapot2

Took me a while to shake off the dream Did a few work emails and also answered some from friends.

Cashed out £20.16 from Prolific to Circle which is slower than PP but no fees over £20. Once that arrives will send it to a CC. Still got over £3 waiting to be approved as did another few short surveys today.

Posted my online sale and while I was out doing that, another one sold :cool:so will be at PO tomorrow again. Also went to the bank and paid in some change I'd put in various piggys and have transferred that to pay the minimum on one of the 0% CCs as its due in a couple of days. Had a wander to the local recycling 'stuff' type shop via a community garden.

Bit more sorting out and shredding done as well as some hoovering and tidying. No gardening today - it was sunny but there was a strong, chilly wind. Have decided I'm strictly a fair weather gardener

beanielou

Strong chilly wind here too.