I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

pollyanna_26

It must have been so frustrating to arrive at the meeting to find it had been cancelled . These things happen but both you and ds should have been informed before you were on your way.
At least you used your initiative and managed to tell the chairwoman your concerns re the sw . At least she seems to have similar feelings and you have the contacts to make a formal complaint to . Annoying re the cancellation but not a total waste of a the precious time in a day off with babysitting on the agenda later.


I confess I've met many people involved in shared access arrangements and there can be problems and disagreements. I've never come across anyone like gf re the childrens clothes . She can't demand money to replace something that is still in existence but at yours.
It doesn't seem to me she is focusing on the boys happiness and welfare which should be a priority. I would hang on to any clothes and shoes you bought ( remember you had to get coats and shoes when she sent them to yours with neither) Use the things she claims to own when she has them. Any things they may be short of at your end a look around the charity shops could yield some decent bargains your end the baby will be growing fast and so will others in the area so usually lots of outgrown stuff around some of which will have had little wear. You will be able to find suitable things for the boy who will also be growing. It should do for now.
You don't have the time at the moment to start making for them . You can do it when things are less busy in all ways.


She has no right to hold onto and refuse your son his belongings so that needs dealing with .
polly

beanielou

That is just not on to cancel at such short notice.

Savvy_sewing

I am tired.
I am going to bed very soon. Babysitting was later than normal as Biggests husband is abroad, so I was very late home, via Aldi and McD. Used a voucher and a monopoly freebie, so only spent £2.98 with a ice cream for DGD. I don't eat MdD so I fried a chop, bits of fridge dive vegetables and had a 2 minute rice for dinner ( at 9.30pm!)
DS is not home this evening and as his Xbox is not here, I don't expect him home tonight. So I needent have defrosted a chop for him.he better eat it tomorrow.

Your probably right about having time to make them clothes, but I was thinking that if I made some shorts etc and elastic Trousers and have my logo on them she can't demand them as hers!
I will do my emails tomorrow now, as I just need to see off tonight.
Dgd is struggling with a sore throat, but with exams 2 weeks away she needs to go to school if at all possible.
The latest money grabbing from the school is Leavers Sweatshirt hoodies with all the class names on the back and initial on the front. Another £9.50 as Dgd is a small adult size now.
Got to pay for that by Friday and the form only came out today.
Another £9.50 not in the budget, and Aldi shop cost me £37 today.
So I have to adjust my budget for the larger food bills, higher electric bills and larger water bills.
Such fun.
I will need to be as efficient as I possibly can do to bring the funds in faster.
Anyway enough moaning for now. Tomorrow is another day and we can hopefully have a good one.

Savvy_sewing

Dgd is really unwell. So plans changed. I am staying home with her. Although I will pop to work to bring some work home to do, as no little ones now until Sunday.
DS didn't come home, and I have sent him a message telling him I am disappointed with him and that he needs to get a better job, be a man, deal with his problems not start another relationship and spend hours on his Xbox. That I feel used.
I don't expect an answer and I doubt he will be home now until Sunday, so I will have to replace the loo seat myself, and make space for the freezer etc ( jobs I asked him to do).
I woke at 5.30 and struggled to get back to sleep while my head kept trying to write a letter to him and his ex to grow up and stop using the children and their apparel as weapons to get at each other. I tried meditation but my mind just kept wondering back to them.

I feel so jaded.
Right now I need to focus on my own life and bringing some normalcy and joy back into the here and now.
I can bring it back. I choose not to let all of this malarkey continue to get to me. Calm and controlled, confident and capable, that's where I want to be.

ivyleaf

So sorry it's turned out to be a bad day, Mooloo x
I hope DGD feels better asap at any rate.

hb2

No wonder you are tired Mooloo - I am exhausted just reading about everything you are doing!

I would have been spitting feathers if I had arrived and found the meeting cancelled - it's not as if you are just sitting around with nothing else to do! I'm glad you were able to speak privately to the chairwoman, at least the time wasn't completely wasted.

I'm sorry that your Gd is struggling with a sore throat, I don't expect that is helping in the battle to get her in to school Does she have any pocket money that she could put towards the school leavers' hoodie? Yes, it is clothing but certainly not essential, so asking her to pay something towards it doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

Is your son paying you anything towards the cost of their keep? I know it is not an easy situation for him, but you really cannot be expected to keep 2 children and one adult with no financial input! That elastic band is being stretched in all directions

ps - Sorry, I missed you saying the Gd is too unwell for school - I do hope she is soon better.

supermezzo

Ok - I'm going to have to say it - why are you struggling to pay for a hoodie when DS can still afford to be smoking?

And before anyone jumps down my throat, yes, I'm an ex-smoker on 20 or more a day, so I do understand how difficult it is to give up, but frankly, it's the least he can do in light of the massive amount of debt he is!

pollyanna_26

Has he started another relationship Mooloo? I've been wondering about the not coming home at night. Spending time with another family was the reason given but families are usually tucked up in bed at night not entertaining visiters .


TBH I even wondered if he was seeing the ex. He did leave in the past and then start seeing her again finally moving back with her.
It's downright rude and unfair that your time and energy is being used to enable him to carry on doing as he pleases , failing to sort the important things that are urgent and straining your finances causing you stress and worry .


Is he still doing the HGV course? I posted a few days ago he needed to get his backside back to yours and start sorting things with your help . If he's in debt to the bank, charges will be ramping up as each day passes without an arrangement in place.


You've been upset, exhausted and worried . This situation is so bad for your physical and mental wellbeing . Time to Roar tell him to get back home and give him an ultimatum , he gets a grip or you're done.


Hope dgd is better soon . I don't often get sore throats but woke on Tuesday feeling I'd swallowed razor blades youngest is the same .

pollyx


Missed the bit about you not expecting him back before Sunday. You aren't running a B&B . You've had to move your home around , do a lot of babysitting etc. If it's down to you to fit a new toilet seat and pretty well do everything he is taking the you know what!

Savvy_sewing

I have no words anymore!
The proverbial has well and truly been taken and I have had enough.
I have been down to work, brought 14/15 jobs to sew here at home. I am going to have some lunch and then get sewing. I need to cancel a house visit as it's an old lady so if Dgd is unwell I don't want to risk her health incase I get anything from Dgd.

pollyanna_26

Hoping you can have the best day you can in the circumstances . Glad you were remembering to eat . Make sure you stay hydrated and well done for thinking of the old lady. Dd has a compromised immune system and it's surprising how people don't take that into account. Crossing the fingers you don't get ill .
pollyx