I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

beanielou

Tell twin to go to her local foodbank

Savvy_sewing

beanielou wrote: »

Tell twin to go to her local foodbank

I believe that you have to be referred to food banks, and not just pitch up, but I might be wrong.
I don't want to get into too much of a conversation with her at the moment as I feel too guilty and I don't want to be pressured through guilt to send her money that actually this week I need.

I am off to sleep I hope.
Just heard DS go outside I hope he's not wondering off without telling me, hopefully he's just having a cigarette!

Savvy_sewing

WEll Twin2's father rather bluntly put in his reply, " -as I have told you before I have my own bills to pay and you and your housemates should budget together and stand on your own two feet"
Not even a sorry can't help. But I suppose he's right and he never helps any of them so I am surprised she even bothered asking him. As she did it on messenger to both of us we can see each other's answers even though we don't communicate after being divorced for 25 years.

beanielou

If the foodbank is an independent ( Like the one I am a volunteer with) technically she does not need a referral

dawyldthing

Mooloo wrote: »

Twin2 has just messaged me asking for £50 for food and electric. She had £30 last month. I have said no. Since her brother etc moved in with me I don't have it. Which is actually true. I don't have it.

Tell her if she wants £50 she can help you get some of your jobs done, but as it is money doesn’t grow on trees and neither does yours

hb2

dawyldthing wrote: »

Tell her if she wants £50 she can help you get some of your jobs done, but as it is money doesn’t grow on trees and neither does yours

This might be a good idea if Mooloo lived anywhere near her daughter, but they are a long way apart. Simply saying 'No' should be all that is needed.

Oh and I have always had the rule that no-one gets a further 'loan' until the previous one is paid back - but I know this is harder to enforce when dealing with your own kids

Savvy_sewing

dawyldthing wrote: »

Tell her if she wants £50 she can help you get some of your jobs done, but as it is money doesn’t grow on trees and neither does yours

Impossible when I haven't even seen her in two years. Cornwall is a long way away when you work weekends it's not possible to just visit for a few hours.

pollyanna_26

Mooloo wrote: »

WEll Twin2's father rather bluntly put in his reply, " -as I have told you before I have my own bills to pay and you and your housemates should budget together and stand on your own two feet"
Not even a sorry can't help. But I suppose he's right and he never helps any of them so I am surprised she even bothered asking him. As she did it on messenger to both of us we can see each other's answers even though we don't communicate after being divorced for 25 years.

Mooloo Twin2s father however bluntly has responded in a way that states what needs to happen to get some control on the situation with her and the flatmates. No apologies so hasn't put over a message that it's for him or anyone else to keep bailing her out.
You usually say sorry , give reasons why , feel guilty etc.
How many times have you posted the bank of mum has closed ?
I cant remember if it was last month you told her you couldn't help but now it looks you sent her £30. That keeps reinforcing the idea the bank of mum will come to the rescue at some point.



Hope todays meeting goes well and you are able to discuss your concerns.
polly

*Robin*

Mooloo wrote: »

Twin2 has just messaged me asking for £50 for food and electric. She had £30 last month. I have said no. Since her brother etc moved in with me I don't have it. Which is actually true. I don't have it.

Mooloo wrote: »

No I didn't get it back.
I feel really bad but I am just not a miracle worker.
I can't provide for everyone else the stress is just too much.
I don't want to be juggling my money every few weeks. Taking my savings back to the bone and now DS living here has ruined my budget completely and until I can get back on track I will stress.

Time for a new tone to your messages with Twin2, along the lines of:

Hi Sweetie, I really need that £30 back which you borrowed last month. Can you send me a postal order / pay it into my account this week please? Love you! xx

Repeat after seven days if cash doesn't appear.

Savvy_sewing

I got to the meeting only to find it had been cancelled. DS was only told as he was on his way too.
I went in and complained that I only just heard in the car park. I was given a short meeting with the Chairwoman as I happen to grab her as she was walking by. I told her I wanted to complain about the Social worker, and I got the impression she was not happy either. She gave me two people to complain too.
I will do that later as I am babysitting for Biggest day the moment.
Just fed up of the shoddy work.
The gf is being a nuisance and demanding money for the boys clothes as I didn't send them back in the same clothes they wore on Monday.
They were in shorts and today it's raining.
I washed them. So tomorrow I will take them over but I will not be dragged into her tit for tat Behavior.
I will never understand her. Because she bought them she thinks she has to have them, but we don't demand she gives back what we send them in, although it would be nice to get any shoes back on their feet.
I think I will have to try and make some clothes for them that I can send them to her in, ( and hers in a bag),as she can't then say we have stolen their clothes!
Stupid woman. They had to be washed and if it had been the suitable weather they would have been sent home in them.
Meanwhile she still won't give DS his things. Feel like piggy in the middle of a school yard fight.