I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

beanielou

POsitive vibes & chanting for you all.

hb2

I'm so sorry that your granddaughter is poorly and hope she makes a fast and full recovery.

I agree that the artist is taking advantage Do you think you would be able to tell him that you can only keep to the £10 per hour if you are able to do his work in your free time but will charge more for anything last minute?

Savvy_sewing

Hospital just released Dgd home as vitals stable, has nebuliser etc. Will know more tomorrow I hope. Obviously Biggest will not be coming tomorrow as planned so I am going to visit the ex/old friend in the care home tomorrow morning before I go to Mum. mum thinks that I should but warned me that I might not reconize (spelling?) him. I braved it and telephoned him tonight and to be honest I hardly reconised his voice. There is no going back now as I told him I would go. But I am dreading it. The man I loved 25 years ago is not the man I will face tomorrow.

Could life ever be simple and flow effortlessly? I wish it could.

Savvy_sewing

Bad night both for me and Dgd. My sleep was evading me, Dgd stomach cramps kept her awake. I have sent her back to bed. I hope that her experience with periods are not going to be as bad as mine used to be.
I am still needed to look after Biggest children including dgd2, as biggest is needed as a teacher at cheer.
But Mum and I will not be going anywhere. So I will potter before and after I visit the home.
Not sure I will be having a very productive day today!
Oh well.

Savvy_sewing

Visit done. Only stayed 15 minutes, but I did my best. So hard to see someone who used to be so vibrant saying they just want to go now.
I did say that I would go back again another day. But I don't know when yet.
Mum rang me, I actually forgot my usual morning call to her. Pre-occupied. She's fine though.

I am going to write my diary before I do anything else.
I need to find my positive head again.

hb2

That visit must have been terribly hard Mooloo Well done for getting through it (((hugs))).

I'm glad Dgd has been allowed home.

Savvy_sewing

Yesterday I struggled to focus. Not much got done. Today I need to bring my AGame back before I loose it completely.
I woke early, have had a cup of tea, read my emails, checked bank balances and now I am about to plan my day. Focus at the moment is becoming even more difficult, my first thought was of the man propped up in a bed, unable to keep his head up, with oxygen tubes and a machine whirling away on the floor beside his bed. My thoughts were that I wanted to tell him that he has lived, loved and mattered and that as he said he wanted to go, I want to tell him that it's ok. That if he wants to go then he can. Of course I didn't tell him that yesterday, but I wonder if now that he has seen me if he will go?
I don't feel any anymosity anymore. I don't feel regrets, not now. I have been on a different path for a very long time, but I still felt love for him and sadness that he didn't help himself when warned many years ago to stop smoking and drinking so much.
I hope he finds peace soon.

I babysat all 3 of biggest children for a couple of hours last evening, dgd2 was much better, and it was a relief that she was on the mend.
I was lazy and brought Dgd home a McD. I have filled out the questionnaire and have a code for the next one, reducing the price as Martin here on MSE pointed out in one of the live shows that he does.
I snacked on the children's sausage and chips.

So today is back to work. Plan the jobs that are in, and start to plan the lessons again.
January has practically finished and I have done very little towards the next 6 months of work.
I need to find my positive now!

hb2

Please don't beat yourself up for what you haven't done. Instead, give yourself credit for what you have achieved. When climbing the mountain it is natural to focus on how far we still have to go. Sometimes it can be helpful to turn around and look at how far we have already come. Then turn back, take a deep breath and start walking again . . .

beanielou

Keep plodding

Savvy_sewing

I am struggling with everything and there really shouldn't be any reason for that. There is nothing that I can put my finger on, other than the battle in my own head.
I am taking today off ( mostly I am obviously very preoccupied as some how yesterday I managed to miss sewing the leg on a jumpsuit, and it's needed by tomorrow!) I want to assess each room, what furniture I already have, and try to get my head around the best work space I have so I can start to clear the shop. I want to have a good set up that I will sew in.
I have not been lucky enough to sell my wall unit, and I need it gone. So I will free cycle it. See if that works.