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Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again

edited 3 April 2019 at 12:33PM in Health & Beauty MoneySaving
2.8K replies 257.7K views
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  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Well done on the decluttering Maman. You'll get there.

    I know what you mean about posting on here, it's what keeps me accountable and stops me from straying onto the primrose path.

    Another 1.1/2 lb down this morning, that makes a total loss of 38lbs, wahoo. Feeling super pleased.

    DS2 made a good start on fitting the wardrobes, he'll come back and finish them in Wednesday. Then I can get a bit straighter and more organised.

    Off out to a BBQ in a bit. Lovely evening for it.
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    My decluttering is fueling my ebaying. My £41 item has sold for £78, so pleased with that and another couple of items have sold, there was so little interest in them I didn't think they were going to sell. Another £100 in the fund and a little bit more space in the loft. I so want the loft cleared, then the garage, shed and finally onto cupboards. I'm hoping to reach £10k and a decluttered house. It is hard being married to a hoarder, Ive always had to fight to keep lounge,dining room, kitchen and bedroom clear but his office, loft, garage and shed are packed solid, in fact having sold £3k worth of stuff you can't see much progress but I keep telling myself it must have made a difference.


    I've been so busy today and I am really tired. Hoping I sleep well tonight.
  • edited 23 July 2019 at 1:42PM
    sugarbaby125sugarbaby125 Forumite
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    edited 23 July 2019 at 1:42PM
    Hello Ladies,

    Melody you are doing great. Stay focused on yourself. :D

    Humpty
    you are doing a great job of decluttering your home and also raising money from selling on eBay :D

    I am finding it difficult not to put on weight, but I am determined to persevere with the healthy eating. It is the lack of daily exercise that is causing me problems. :( My right shoulder inflammation has not settled down and it is still painful. I was forced to do most things with my left hand and that has resulted in a painful left shoulder as well. :(

    The pain is returning in my left lower jaw, so the antibiotics I took for 5 days before has not completely eradicated any infection. I will have to talk to a dentist about this soon. On the dentist's advice, I did buy myself an Oral B rechargeable toothbrush which has really improved my plaque removal. :)

    I broke my self imposed spending embargo on eBay about 10 days ago, but I did not spend in an extravagant way. ;) I bought another pair of Van Dal sling back shoes that were new in the original box, A new Kaleidoscope dress and a new Kaleidoscope skirt. I have not done any spending on eBay since though. :)

    My 4 grandchildren all have birthdays between the 30th July and 1st October. As I am saving for my 2020 holiday, I am simply going to give all 4 of them some money in a birthday card and leave it at that. My grandson is shocked that I am not prepared to pay for a birthday meal for him in a restaurant, but I prefer the money to remain in my savings account. I will not be doing any more lavish spending on any of my 4 grandchildren in the future. I need to concentrate on my own needs before their needs. They have their parents to rely on for a good celebration on their birthdays. :cool:

    My younger son got his results for his 1st year exams of his degree and he got a 2:1 so I am really proud of him. :D He also came home on Friday to cook my version of chicken fried rice with my supervision. He ate a portion for his dinner and took 3 portions home to his student accommodation. :D

    I am doing lots of reading at the moment. I am on my 4th book in only a week. :D I decided to read all of the autobiographies from my collection of new books. I find them much easier to read, as they do not have complicated plots and sub plots. :D It is also great to see the different writing styles of people that have become famous in my life time and interesting to note which areas of their personal and professional lives they are willing to share with their readers. :D
  • mamanmaman Forumite
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    I think you're right about the grandchildren sugarbaby. Of course it's up to their parents mainly. It's different perhaps with a special birthday like an 18th or 21st when several celebrations may be in order.

    Perhaps it just the occasion that your grandson will miss? It was interesting on Saturday that my little nephew (Aged 8) had specifically asked his parents if we could have the family party for his birthday. Its normally an annual event but last year they were having building work done so it didn't happen and he missed it. I think he just likes seeing the extended family together. :)

    Your son has done well in his exams. Can he stay all year round in his student accommodation?

    You love those Van Dal shoes and you know they suit you so it would have been foolish to pass up a new pair. ;)

    I was going to go out and about on a few errands today but they can wait. You've decided me to just stay in the cool and read. :D I went around earlier and closed blinds and curtains to help keep the rooms cool and the front of my house is north facing so those rooms aren't so bad.

    I'm also taking advantage of the weather to clear all the washing. there's absolutely nothing in the laundry basket! I changed our bed too and replaced the duvet with a large cotton sheet.

    It's strange but in Turkey a few weeks back we had weather like this daily. It's so much easier to cope there but I don't think it would be the same swimming off a boat in the Solent!:D:rotfl:
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    Sugarbaby, thank you. I do feel it is beyond me at times but now I have him agreeing to clearing it I have got to do it. I will slow down over the next six weeks as I have GC alot and I can't cope with piles of stuff I am selling and rampaging toddlers.


    It is hard about spending on GC. Four of mine are well provided for, two are in a harder situation, mum and dad not together and dad (my son) has moved away. They don't get on well with stepfather and mum is very volatile, at one time social services placed the children with me and I worked with them to get them back to mum and with lots of support it has jogged alot for a few years but with teenage issues it isn't easy at the moment. I do spend more on them, I think my other kids understand, it isn't that I love these two more than the others but when dad sends money and then mum says there isn't any and they need new clothes what can I do? I also feel I have to offer childcare to the others as the two needy ones are with me alot so it feels unfair, well I suppose it is unfair but I can hardly turn a sobbing child away when he is at my door complaining about stepdad again.


    Sometimes I wish life was easier. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself now, must think positive thoughts.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Good morning lovely ladies.....

    Well done on the eBaying Humpty. You're going great guns.

    Interesting post there SUgarbaby about financial priotories.

    I agree it's nice to be generous to our progeny but realistically we do have to think about our needs for the future too. Those bills don't get any smaller. :rotfl:

    I also think that maybe it isn't always a good idea to shower them with too much in the way of material goods....they all need to be able to stand in their own two feet. A parent or grandparents time, love and attention is a far greater gift.

    I also think humans need to feel the urge to create and succeed. I don't think that happens if everything is handed to you on a plate.

    A young man of my acquaintance once told me about his grandfather.

    Apparently the gentleman in question, despite being moderately wealthy, never showered the boy with elaborate gifts or extravagant treats - always just one small present, usually a book. He did however, shower him with love and affection, taking the boy out and about. He fondly remembers cricket matches, football, fishing and camping trips with his grandfather.

    Then on his 21st birthday he got the surprise of his life. The grandfather presented him with a bundle of share certificates, worth enough to put down on a house deposit.

    Despite being well able to indulge the boy, the canny old devil knew better than to spoil him with material goods whilst he was growing up and chose instead to invest in his future.

    I shall be doing something similar for my grandchildren.....although on a smaller scale. Unless of course I suddenly become rich. :rotfl: but even then I wouldn't over indulge them.

    I've been out and about this morning but it's already blisteringly hot. I I already have a headache so am going to stay out of the sun.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    Just read your post Humpty. What an incredibly difficult situation for you. No wonder you feel a bit low.

    Life can be so cruel sometimes.......

    Not everyone gets to have an idyllic childhood. I really feel for children who have a hard time.
  • lessonlearnedlessonlearned Forumite
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    BTW. My bite is much better. Showed my tame GP (it can be very useful having a doctor in the family, :rotfl:. I never consult her as such, that wouldn't be fair, but she noticed the bite).

    We are both pretty certain it was a mosquito. I am very allergic to the blighters at the best of times but she thinks this one was infected. Anyway it's clean now and healing well.

    I don't know whether it's an age thing but I have found that insect bites and wasp stings affect me far more than they did when I was younger. The last wasp sting made me feel quite ill. My sister has to carry an epi pen for bee stings......at least I'm not that bad.

    It's coming up to the 5th anniversay of my husbands death. Always hard at such times.......but I remind myself at least he's free now. And I'm gradually rebuilding my life.

    The other day my sister commented on how much my grandson resembles my husband ......the genes live on dont they. I can see it in his eyes.
  • humptydumptybitshumptydumptybits Forumite
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    It is funny about the bites, I think I was tasty when I was young and got bitten lots, now rarely in fact I can't think of the last time it happened. I think some of us naturally do attract them more and it can change, maybe hormonal in my case as I think it might have been menopause when I lost my attraction to the beasties. One of my children was a wasp magnet as a child, two never got a sting and one just got stung once. Weird isn't it.


    It is sad about kids who don't have a good homelife. I try to make sure "my" two know this is their safe place. They refer to my house as home which annoys their mother no end. The eldest is just longing for his getaway, which is university. He is very bright and will do well.
  • sugarbaby125sugarbaby125 Forumite
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    Hello Ladies,

    I know I have spoiled my grandson in the past, but he needed it. He has been in Care since he was 13. :( He has lived in a few Care homes in the Andover area before he was found supported shared housing in London when he was 16. :( Once he was living in London, I could keep a better eye on him and also try to make sure that he had lovely family celebrations for his birthdays and he was able to be there for other people in the family's birthdays and celebrations. :D He knows that no matter how much trouble he has got himself into, that I will Love him regardless. :D As he is 19 almost 20, he has now been forced to fend for himself.

    He was extremely verbally abusive to me on one occasion last year and also threatened my younger son (his uncle) with physical violence. :mad: As a result of this behaviour, I made it quite clear that the many ways that I had been willing to support him financially would now stop. I would simply give him a birthday and Christmas present each year and leave it at that. :)

    He is now homeless because he was aggressive and abusive to staff and other young men living in the same supported housing. :mad:

    He had so many opportunities for a job that the staff arranged for him. :D He deliberately turned up late for some interviews or performed badly to ensure he was not offered the job in question. :mad: He started a well paid job at a recycling plant last year and walked off the job 3 days later. :mad: He got a job with McDonald's in one of their West End branches but decided on the day that he was due to start work, that he did not want to work for McDonald's. :mad: He started more than one qualification at College but did not complete any of them and they each of them would have helped to secure him gainful employment. :mad:

    It is really sad that he is estranged from his Mother and his stepfather, so he has come to rely on me to step into the breach again and again. Now that he has spent the last 3 years demonstrating how little he cares about being in gainful employment, I have finally lost patience with him. :(

    His sister, my eldest granddaughter has also spent the last 3 years of her life in Care. :( She has also caused me so many sleepless nights but as she if her Mum's and stepfather's favourite, she has a lot of support from the 2 of them, so did not need the same level of support as her brother from me. :) She also gets a lot of support from her Father and all of his family whereas her brother has never got to know his biological father, but was lucky that her Father treats him like he is his biological son and not a step son. :D

    My grandson's biological Father murdered his Mother and is in a prison for the criminally insane. :eek: My grandson was absolutely devastated when he discovered all of these facts. :( So not only can he never have a relationship with his biological Father he will never know his paternal grandmother. His other family on his Father's side have never shown any interest in him and he also has a brother and a sister his Father had with another woman that he has never known, he is not even sure if they know of his existence and this all causes him a lot of emotional pain. :(

    He is emotionally younger than his chronological age even though he looks far more adult than his age and little wonder after all he has suffered through.

    My 2 other granddaughters are extremely lucky in comparison in that they have had a very stable and secure upbringing with their Mother. :D They also have great relationships with everyone in their Mother and Father's families. :D They have also had access with their Father which makes them confident, secure and well mannered and a complete joy to be around and communicate with. :D
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