Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again

FrankieM

Who knew we had a 'Quiet' introvert revolution going on.

I can really recommend the book. It's been almost life changing (certainly eye opening) and has helped me to recognise what I need to be okay and to flourish and succeed in situations.

I'm not good at faking the extrovert thing, I think I just come across as uncomfortable, cause, mostly, that's what I am, but I need to look at the extroverts around me and pick up tips.

I went to see my DD2 yesterday after work (and my 3 gorgeous grandsons!) and she mentioned the phrase 'working the room' and I think I need to learn to do that, in different ways for different situations, but I'm sure you understand what I mean

FrankieM

Dyed my hair on Monday and got my eyebrows waxed ready for work yesterday.

Thought about my 'outfit' a bit more than usual (I often just choose 1 of 5 things I wear and put it on), blow dried my hair with a bit of product and put some hair spray on and put on some BB cream, mascara and some lipstick...and the comments I got...

I was 'looking great, wonderful, glowing, like I've lost a load of weight (I definitely haven't!) and my personal favourite, like I'd had sex'...lolol (sorry if that one offends anyone)

I personally felt like I looked like a drag queen and couldn't decide whether I'd made the right decision by putting a bit of makeup on, but it seems I had.

Dorothy60

Frankie I bet you looked GORGEOUS!! It's amazing the difference a bit of slap can make, when teamed with a co ordinating outfit and time spent styling our hair. You have set a precedent now, Mrs, no going back!!


Really interesting stuff about 'Quiet' must read this. I know I'm odd - I come across as a mad people's person, loud and funny but love my own company and certainly don't go in for parties and wild nights out - never have, even when I was young. Mr Dot says I am like a Catherine Wheel - burn bright but soon burn out and want to go home and put me slippers on.


LL I agree about youngsters today, they miss out on so much. How do you learn social skills by poking at a screen to faux friends, many of whom you've never met? How do you form meaningful relationships unless you actually meet, spend time with TALK to people, touch them even? Hug someone - literally fall about laughing?


Eeeh, sound like a right old fogey..................

Wednesday2000

I have to stay in for a delivery today. I'm wearing my red knee length dress and a vintage necklace, with slippers, which kind of ruins the image.:rotfl:

I have to order the ELF flawless foundation I like from Superdrug online as they don't have it in my local stores.

I was looking at my moisturisers and mentally rating them.:p

Skyn Iceland and the Sophie La Girafe Baby Face Cream are my two favourites.

The Superdrug B serum and the Acure Organics Day Cream are in second place.

REN would come last, I didn't rate that one at all.

FrankieM wrote: »

Dyed my hair on Monday and got my eyebrows waxed ready for work yesterday.

Thought about my 'outfit' a bit more than usual (I often just choose 1 of 5 things I wear and put it on), blow dried my hair with a bit of product and put some hair spray on and put on some BB cream, mascara and some lipstick...and the comments I got...

I was 'looking great, wonderful, glowing, like I've lost a load of weight (I definitely haven't!) and my personal favourite, like I'd had sex'...lolol (sorry if that one offends anyone)

I personally felt like I looked like a drag queen and couldn't decide whether I'd made the right decision by putting a bit of makeup on, but it seems I had.

Wow, what a reaction!:T

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies.....

Frankie.....nearly spat out my coffee at the "you look like you just had sex" comment. :rotfl: post coital glow is a great look. .

Sounds like you looked fabulous. And it's true the right clothes can make you look slimmer and taller.

The thing about "professional" dress for work is that somehow it does seem to enhance your professional performance or maybe it's just that people start to see you in a different light and start to listen to you, respect your capabilities and take you more seriously.

It certainly worked for me. Once I sharpened up my act the sky was literally the limit. Jetting off to Europe to sell high end property to rich folk.

Sometimes when working here in the U.K. My employers required me to wear their corporate uniforms but even when they didn't I adopted a corporate style of dressing. Good quality clothes, discrete jewellery and accessories and groomed to within an inch of my life. It definitely made life easier, because I didn't really need to think about what to wear. It was easy.....either a suit or a nice jacket teamed with a skirt or smart dress.

They do say you need to dress for the job you want not the job you've got. In other words upscale your look.

Do you have any good nearly new dress agencies near you.

I managed to do it on the cheap by buying most of my work clothes from a nearly new dress agency. I used to get Some really great suits for around £30. I'm talking designer labels, the same suits would have cost £000s new.

Dorothy....love the Catherine wheel analogy. That's exactly what I'm like. Even when I'm out having fun I am really looking forward to gong home again. Aren't we funny. I really am a home bird. My "nest" is the source of all my strength.

Well I have really bitten the bullet......have signed up for a Saturday night out with the meet up group, as well as Friday night. Me, going out two nights running, whatever is the world coming to. :rotfl:

I will have to keep Sunday free though because I'm hosting a BBQ for DS2s birthday on Monday ......got to conserve some energy for that. Luckily I won't actually be presiding over the BBQ, that is DS1s job.

It always makes me smile, men become BBQ kings for a day and get praised to the skies for their culinary skills whilst their women folk are still the kitchen slaves doing everything else and holding it all together. You gotta laugh at that one.

Having said that DS1 is a fantastic cook. The meal he cooked last night was really first class, top restaurant quality. I really blew my weekly bonus points last night so will have to be careful with my food choices for the rest of the week.

Still it's nice to have a blow out once in a while and not think about calories. .

lessonlearned

Frankie.....I used to be cripplingly shy and parties used to be my Waterloo. I used to feel absolutely miserable. I just hated them. Working the room was an absolute nightmare for me.

Then I learned from my husband. I watched him and learned so much about how to engage with strangers. He would have them eating out of his hands within seconds. That man could charm the birds off the trees. His secret? He just genuinely like people and was interested in them. No fakery.

Apart from watching a master at work, there were two valuable lessons that also really helped me. The first one is a bit contentious so I apologise in advance if I offend anyone.....

I went to an all girls catholic convent school. The nuns were extremely strict, grades were everything and woe betide you if you didn't excel at everything.

They had zero tolerance for any girl who didn't fully engage with everything on the curriculum and "shyness" just wasn't an acceptable excuse for not joining in.

They nuns had this mantra which they drilled into us "There is no such thing as shyness, it's just vanity". I did take strong exception to that when I was young and thought they were wrong but I eventually grew to understand what they were driving at.

What they preached was maybe a bit harsh perhaps but I do now think they were iright ......up to a point.....that shyness can be a form of self absorption and narcissism.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that shy people are vain and self obsessed but I do think that overly shy people perhaps worry too much about what other people think about them. That is something which young people do struggle with. Teenagers, in particular, are often terribly shy underneath all that "I don't care" bravado.

Which brings me to the second lesson I learned .....that most people are shy or at least not as confident as they may appear.

Most people are just as nervous as we are, just as afraid of making a faux pas or looking like a fool. I think once I understood that I began to acquire some social skills and a few social graces to help me deal with larger scale gatherings such as parties and/or a room full of strangers.

Simply putting yourself in the other persons shoes and realising that they too might be feeling shy and self conscious does seem to help.

I did learn that most people actually quite enjoy talking about themselves, their hobbies and interests. I learned how to ask a few pertinent questions to get them to relax and open up. And most people have a story to tell.

Of course I think it helps if you actually like the human race:rotfl: not much point in trying to engage with your fellow humans if you don't like people. You do have to be genuinely interested in what they are saying. Nothing is worse than feigned interest and most people can spot a phoney or a faker.

maman

Interesting chat about introverts. I can't say I'm one myself but I am certainly not loud either. I'd hate to be that. I cringe at the idea of people who think practical jokes are amusing and (I think I've said before) 'makes me laugh' wouldn't be an attribute that I'd look for in a partner or a friend. I like dry wit and loved those comic songs that Victoria Wood used to do but outright laughing just isn't me.


I picked up on what you said about not having another persona Frankie. I certainly have a work persona and I used to literally put it on as I got dressed in my work clothes. I never thought of it as any sort of 'hidden agenda' though just that it's perfectly OK IMO to behave differently in different situations. I certainly know how to work the room. My DH is brilliant at it too and I know he's pleased when I just wander about chatting with people rather than expect him to stay with me. The me that people saw at work though is very different from the one letting my hair down with friends loudly singing Dancing Queen!:rotfl:


Glad you got some compliments when you made an effort for work. I though about what you said about feeling you looked like a drag queen. I always wear some make up when I'm out but it's rarely heavy. Today as it was so sunny I just wore some mascara and lippy. Yesterday evening I wore the Clarins flash balm, highlighter on my browbones, a bit of concealer under my eyes, mascara and lippy. Fortunately this winter I haven't looked grey at all so I've rarely worn any foundation. Also, last time I had my eyebrow wax I tried a darker tint and it's lasted well so I've just been using an eyebrow primer. It was a freebie with a gift set. It's effectively hair gel for eyebrows.:D I just smooth it on and then brush into shape. When it's gone I think I'll try Vaseline.


I went to the podiatrist today so my feet are looking/feeling fab. And while I was in the city centre, I bought a new dress. :DI've had so much wear (and compliments) from my Zara long sleeved maxi dress that I thought I'd try another as so often in this country the weather's not good enough for short sleeves. I'm not sure if it's a keeper yet but I did try it on and liked it.
https://www.zara.com/uk/en/printed-dress-p04886058.html?v1=10952452&v2=1180356


I think the picture doesn't do it justice. We'll see if it's a keeper.


I have been amused that Katie in her garden at Chelsea has been wearing very similar clothes to me. These trousers could have been mine but I bet hers aren't from Primark!:D

FrankieM

I wore my hair up today, I've always been a little self conscious about my round face due to a comment my ex made about 'my big round Bertie Bassett face' What a charmer

Anyway, more comments...:)

I'm coming to the end of the clothes I'd actually like to wear to work so I've decided that I'm heading into town to buy myself some works clothes.

A few pairs of trousers, some skirts and then blouses/tops. Probably just in navy/grey/black/white but we'll see.

I'm really wanting a seperate work wardrobe to everything else. Less to think about, as you say LL

I need some shoes and definately a few new bras, I feel like I'm being cut in half!

Anyway, the precedent has begun

lessonlearned

Ooh a shopping trip. Sounds like fun.

Had a great day with the Little Emperor (my grandson). Lots of laughs, cuddles and big sloppy kisses. Shattered now. :rotfl: One more day to go and then a well earned break.

Well I've booked another meet up outing......next Tuesday night, a pop quiz in one of our city centre pubs. It's a fab pub, the oldest in the city, full of character. And I love pub quizzes. A great way to make friends with like minded people with shared interests. My calendar is filling up nicely. .

Just need to suss out the various car parks and routes round the one way system. It seems that a lot of the forthcoming outings are city centre based.....well at the least the ones I fancy.;)

sheilavw

I am very much a people person like your late Husband LL. I love chatting to people. People around here are very friendly, they will stop and chat to you. I dont think that you get that everywhere